Was it cocsa
I must have been maybe 6 or 7 at the time. (No pun intended) My brother was 4 years older than me. This has been on my mind for so long. Ive never told anyone til now. I am 22. We used to sometimes have sleepovers in the living room or in our basement. I only recall one time I remember that this happened but it has stuck with me for so long and I have bad dreams about it. Honestly all I remember is we were watching a movie and he asked to get under the covers. Me being a child totally innocent I did. He asked me to show him my (private parts down there) I remember feeling like something wasnt right and I remember i kept saying no. He ended up showing me his and I remember feeling pressured to do it. Mind you I had no idea what was going on. Just that it felt wrong. I ended up showing him anyways. I remember feeling disgusting after. I never told anyone or my parents cause I thought I would get in trouble and be punished for doing such a thing. It left me with some sexual trauma. I remember feeling very uncomfortable around him for some amount of time after, i felt disgusting wearing clothes that showed my arms and legs or clothes that were tight to my body. I now have a boyfriend whom I love very very much, but I struggle with things during sex. Like feeling obligated to do certain things, feeling terrible if I say no. Etc etc. The thing is, my brother is a completely changed person now and we get along great. Almost as if it never happened. I dont know man. I just needed to get advice on if this was cocsa or if im just being crazy.