Signing off 🫡
Hello people. I have cried about my under supply from day 1. I have posted so many times when I felt noone got me and was always uplifted by the community here.
My baby was born at 28 weeks through an emergency c section. Nicu and ny undersupply was making me miserable, Because all I wanted to do was help her, and feeding her was all I could do. My body was going through so much that it barely could. I have expressed for maybe 45 mins atleast 8 times a day with barely 15 ml per session. I was obsessed with making more milk for her. I have spilled my precious under supply, cried, gotten angry, tried I dunno how many pumps, felt guilty, sore boobs, drank everything that people suggested helps with production, ate protein consciously, hot bath, massage, hand expressed, tracked every drop and I am sure I am forgetting few more. I Felt like I was letting her down, kinda spiralling. Till I made peace with this is how much my body could do and every drop helps (my husband helped me accept this, he has been amazing to say the least)
On Day 1, I thought it would be a miracle if I continued feeding till she got home. Guess what, baby girl was home after 45 days and we are almost 10 months pp. I am finally calling it quits. Not because I am not making enough for her( which was roughly only for a month or so maybe) but because its my time to look after my body and my mind. And because baby girl is absolutely amazing and crushing her solids.
I am so proud of myself. I never knew I could. So amazing what love for your child can make you do.
I feel bittersweet. But more than anything I am so relieved.
Adios pumps. I am gonna burn most of you. Maybe keep one 😉