Should I still tolerate her or just leave her? I need your opinions, guys. I’m 19M and the girl I’m courting is 19F. We’ve been talking for almost 4 months now, and we always go out together. We’re not officially together yet because I’m still courting her, but of course misunderstandings and arguments are unavoidable sometimes. I know that’s normal when two people are trying to get to know each other deeply.
The problem is, I recently found out that every time we argue, our private conversations are being shared with her circle of friends. Like… is that really normal? Because for me, our conversations should stay between us. What hurts even more is that we’re classmates, and I’m also close to one of her friends in that circle. I didn’t know that whenever I updated that friend about what was happening between me and the girl I like, it would become a topic in their whole group. On the other hand, the girl I’m courting also sends screenshots of our conversations to their group chat, and she seems okay with them reading everything, even the parts where I’m being hurt by her words during our fights.
Eventually, someone from their group “snitched” and told her that the things they were saying about me were getting too much already. She later told me that she couldn’t handle the comments they were making about me anymore and that our issues were supposed to stay private. That honestly confused me because if she believed our problems were private, why were our conversations being shared in the first place?
To be fair, we’re actually happy together most of the time. We enjoy each other’s company, we go out a lot, and we genuinely care about each other. But every time there’s a misunderstanding, it feels like our personal problems suddenly become public entertainment for her friends. I’m starting to feel uncomfortable and disrespected because I value privacy a lot, especially when it comes to emotional conversations and arguments.
Now I’m stuck wondering if I’m just overreacting or if my feelings are actually valid. Is it normal for someone to share private conversations and arguments with their friends like this? Should I try to understand her side and tolerate it, or is this already a red flag that I shouldn’t ignore?