I have been destroying my life for the past few months with gambling, drugs, and isolation
I am sick to my stomach every single day because I keep putting myself in this position where I lose all my money. I am 10k in debt and bank account is negative usually.
Im new here and I think I just need support I wanna change my ways. I've tried reaching out to helplines but none of them texted back and I tried to call but couldn't bring myself to speak so I hung up when they answered. I somehow muscled up the courage to tell my dad but he kind of brushed it off as something that wasn't serious. Even though I was literally crying and begging for attention basically to be honest. I've told my friends but they don't understand either.
I think a big part of it for me is that I just want someone to notice. I feel like i'm drowning and I feel like the people I want to notice just don't care enough. Not that it's their fault obviously and I wouldn't ever ask any of them for money but I just want someone to notice that I am stuck and help me get through it. I understand its not their problem but it just hurts.
For context I am a 19 year old male (I gamble on rust/sweepstakes sites where they allow 18+) and I had a problem a year ago with gambling as well but I stopped for a few months. So I guess the relapse has just been more draining then the first go around. I thought I learned my lesson the first time but I went back when I had a lot of money built back up and that was the last time I was happy. Thank you for reading this it means a lot, seriously, because this was very hard to type out and I really don't even wanna click post.