Hi, I’m looking for honest outside perspectives on whether I’m being reasonable or overthinking
We’ve been together for about 2 months. Things started off very strong and emotionally open. Early on, he told me communication was extremely important to him because in past situations he’d been hurt by people becoming avoidant, ghosting, or refusing to engage in difficult conversations. He specifically said he always tries to communicate openly and values directness.
The other week, I noticed his energy seemed lower and asked if he was okay.
He ended up telling me he felt like our connection had changed, that our conversations felt different, and that he sometimes worried I didn’t like him as much anymore. He also said he wished I initiated flirting more because he wasn’t feeling as desired.
I responded openly and reassuringly as I could. I told him my feelings hadn’t changed, asked what specific things would help him feel more desired, & let him know that I can be shy but wanted to do my best for him, & asked if he could help me understand better since this was my first relationship. But I told him I care about him & care about us, & that I want to try for him
He thanked me, said he appreciated my care, and said he was too tired to respond properly but wanted to return to the conversation “later.”
Then he didn’t get back to me for over 48 hours, which made me anxious bc this was not normal for us. We always had a habit of talking to eachother everyday or atleast checking in if anything.
When he came back, he apologized and said work had drained him and he hadn’t wanted to rush a response to a sensitive topic. I told him I understood, but I let him know that the prolonged silence had been overwhelming for me and that I really appreciated him checking in or letting me know in advance whether he was still thinking/planning to get back to me or not, or letting me know in advance if he needed extra time away or space.
He apologized, said that was completely reasonable, and acknowledged he wouldn’t have wanted to be in my position either.
A few days later, I noticed the original emotional conversation still hadn’t actually been addressed, so I brought it up again.
I reminded him that he’d said he wanted to return to it later, but now several days had passed.
He kept saying things like: “I don’t know what to say”, asking what specific points I meant, saying he didn’t remember clearly.
I clarified several times that I just wanted him to keep
me in the loop & let me know whether he was atleast still thinking.
He hadn’t brought up my text that he said he’d return to later 5 days before (since I wanted to address his feelings bc I didn’t want them to drive a wedge between us if left unresolved too long), and wanted more clarity / consistency around our communication in general.
He said he was gonna address it when we next spoke but that it felt unnatural & asked maybe we should “start from scratch”. So I asked if he wanted to restart the conversation right there, & he said: “Sure. Let’s do that.”
So I said: “Alright, so we can pick up where we last left off on my last response.” (Was referring to the one he said he’d return to “later”, but never ended up coming back to)
That was 7 days ago now & he has not responded since, despite being very active online the rest of that whole night & almost everyday since then. His status was consistently online & he has made more than 1 lengthy post/responses to others online since then, so I know he has his phone & is able to text.
This is what’s making me feel confused, because earlier in our connection he strongly emphasized how hurt he’d been by people ghosting / avoiding difficult conversations and how important open communication was to him. I told him the same, that I strongly value openness & honesty.
Since I haven’t heard from him in officially 7 days, I’m considering just deleting that account I made to talk to him (I only made it for him because he wanted to switch platforms).
My honest question is if that would be considered as me ghosting??? I wondered if I should reach out & directly “close things”, if that would be the right thing to do. It’s just the entire last week I had been trying to communicate with him & address the issues while he seemed closed off to me, so I felt a little silly at the idea of texting him again when he hasn’t been engaging with me.