Went through her phone…
I’m M/23 she is 22/F and he is 32/M
the guy’s cousin’s dad passed away, so he reached out to her about the funeral, and that’s how they started talking again after like three years of no contact.
She told me when he first messaged her, and I told her I wasn’t really cool with it. Especially because she doesn’t even want me talking to old female friends or even coworkers. I thought she’d respect my boundary the same way.
But then she started following more guys on Instagram — all the same ethnicity as me — and she started acting more irritated with me. I tried to show her love, took her out to restaurants, tried to make things better.
Our sex life dropped hard. It only happened if I initiated, and even then she was super dry with me. No oral, but she kept asking me for it, even demanding it.
Then she blew up on me one day and said she felt like I didn’t love her. I told her I do — I’m working 70+ hours a week so we can eat out, go to movies, do stuff together. Before that I was broke and in debt.
Then she gave me an ultimatum: stop gaming.
I told her gaming is something I enjoy and I’m not giving it up. Same with the gym. She was disappointed. I asked her if she could stop partying and she said no — she’s young and wants to have fun. She wanted a two‑week break. I told her I can’t be with someone who doesn’t know if they want me.
Things got a little better after that. Sex picked up a bit. I thought we were good.
A month later, I checked her Instagram again and her following list had doubled — all guys.
Then I found out I had legal problems. I told her about it. One day after a morning shift, I was feeling down. We were supposed to hang out, but she decided to go out with her friends instead. She later felt bad and came back, but she told me her friend gave her an ultimatum: go to me and they won’t go out anymore, or go with them. I told her she doesn’t need that friend, but she can do whatever she wants. It felt like she was choosing me, but she clearly wanted to go party. They ended up going at 3 AM, got to the party at 4, and weren’t let in.
After that, I started thinking about breaking up. I was really depressed.
One day she fell asleep, and I checked her phone again.
I didn’t find other guys, but I found her Instagram chats with him. At first it looked innocent, but then it got weird. He sent her memes. One said she’s the only beautiful girl he knows. She sent him a tattoo she wants — a back tattoo — and he replied with the mischievous emoji 😏.
He asked how she’d put lotion “down there,” and she said, “Somebody needs to help me.”
Then he told her to move the convo to WhatsApp.
I didn’t see the chat in the main list, but I found it in the archive. She had talked to him an hour before she fell asleep.
I found out they were calling every day — voice calls, video calls, sometimes at 2 AM. If I texted her at that time, she wouldn’t open it because she was “asleep.” She was updating him about her life. He was asking if she ate, if she fell asleep, all that.
Then I checked Instagram again and saw she wanted him to come see her while she was clubbing, but it never happened.
I couldn’t hold my rage. I went to my night shift. She found out I wanted to take her to a hotel, but honestly I felt insulted — she’s talking to him like that and I’m spending money on her? I couldn’t think straight. I worked 12 hours, then went to the gym for 3 hours. When she came home, I was on the computer.
I calmly asked if she was still talking to him. She said yes. I told her I wanted to see the conversation. She said okay quietly. It took her three minutes to give me the phone — felt like she was deleting stuff.
I asked if they talked a lot. She said no.
I opened Instagram and acted like it was my first time seeing it. I said, “But it looks like you talk to him every day. You even talked to him a few hours before you came home.”
Then I opened WhatsApp Archive. She was shocked.
I asked why she archived his chat. She said because he texts and she doesn’t feel like answering. I showed her she was lying — they were talking every day, sending memes, gifts, TikToks, disappearing photos.
I even lied and said I know she calls him and deletes the logs. She said yes and apologized. I was fuming.
I made her call him. He definitely felt something was off. I told her to ask him out. He said he’d love to take her out — any hour, any day, any place. Then I told her to ask if it was a date. He paused and said, “How is it a date? You have a boyfriend.”
Then she hung
More stuff happened after that
Tldr :gf was secretly continuing to text a guy that is ten years older than her while dating me keeps deleting call logs and gaslighting me for months while begging him to see her or take her out while I was in legal trouble