Advice on how to save my 1 year relationship? I’m 22M and my girlfriend is 22F
There’s quite a bit of history between us over the last 2-3 years and it’s not all rainbows and butterfly’s. For the history of us TLDR: we were together I broke up with her, she didn’t want to break up so we were a “situationship”, during that time she met up with an ex and “cheated”. Then we went no contact for a year.
For starters the history between us isn’t pretty, starting from when we first started dating to now. The most recent big issue was that over the last 6ish months she would say there’s lots of things that are hurting her mainly from a past relationship and feeling bad. (Essentially when we started talking again she was seeing her ex from high school and left him for me), I told her to reach out and apologize and that’s it, well it turned to more than that and ended up causing a pretty big fight where we didn’t talk for a few days. (Emotional cheating… not physical)(did I set myself up? Yes. But I trusted her and it truly seemed like something that was “eating her alive”)
Ever since this I’ve felt a sort of way about her and it isn’t really good but that isn’t the main issue. We’ve been living together (in her parents home)for about 8 months and over the last 2 months it’s really just felt like we’re roommates and not a couple. We aren’t intimate, she turns down dates, plans, concerts, events, it seems like everything she turns down. While to start I may have portrayed her as the “bad guy” but I myself struggle with emotions and being open emotionally (I’m emotionally avoidant), in which is something I’ve been working on but still something I struggle with. Which also causes issues since I’m not able to fully support her emotionally how she wants/needs.
Not only this she often calls me entitled, which when I ask her to please tell me how I’m entitled she doesn’t ever say anything. From my point of view I don’t think I act entitled or anything, I understand at any 1 point she can end the relationship, not only this I appreciate her allowing me to share her space with her and I try to show that to her. I provide dinner for us every night, I make sure the bathroom and room are cleaned every weekend, I do laundry 2x a week to make sure we always have clean clothes, I buy her gifts, flowers weekly, love notes all off the cute couple stuff. But in contrary it feels like anything I do will never be good enough and she always has something to nag at me for even if it’s the tiniest thing (e.g. I forgot to push in the chair at the desk, In which she nagged at me and snowballed into so much more)
Anyways lots of backstory, likely confusing and I apologize, but I don’t think either of us are quite ready to throw in the towel but I think I’m pretty damn close to that point. Really seeking any advice on things to try to save the relationship, or if someone has a similar experience and what they think would be best moving forward. If any questions I’m happy to explain anything more etc.