Anyone experience this - and how would you approach? Higher belt ego amongst ladies?
I am a blue belt and have been training for about 7–8 years. I compete 2–3 times a year, but I wouldn’t consider myself heavily competition-focused—I’m definitely in the hobbyist category. (TL;DR: my last competition involved a 16-year-old Brazilian phenom smashing me on my head, resulting in a minor concussion. It made me realize I have zero desire to compete at that intensity level. More power to the people who do.)
My gym is pretty lucky in that we have a lot of women of varying levels, including an OG black belt and an MMA fighter (and no, we are not one of those big-name gyms).
My issue is this:
There is a purple belt woman who, back in January during our last belt promotion testing, frankly got her shit wrecked—partially by me and partially by the other women. Our gym runs promotion testing as a very intense, back-to-back situational format, essentially like a super fight king-of-the-hill at the end. This is well advertised and not a surprise to anyone.
After that January session, I noticed she started acting cold toward me and the other women—just generally not being friendly.
I continued my normal friendly interactions: always smiling, being respectful, and accepting her “no” if she didn’t want to roll, keeping my own ego in check.
This past week, one of the white belt women was venting to me and said, “Why is this purple belt so mean?” Apparently, during a roll, the white belt had an advantageous position, and the purple belt responded by kicking her in the face and repeatedly saying things like “no, wrong, wrong, wrong.” The white belt said she felt extremely demoralized and that the interaction made her want to quit. We expect intensity from the men sometimes, but not usually directed like this toward newer women.
Last night, I said hi to the purple belt while maintaining my usual polite and friendly attitude, and I received the same cold shoulder. I didn’t even ask her to roll—it didn’t seem worth it.
At this point, and this might be my ego speaking, I want to roll with her again, and if the same attitude comes out, say something. Or at least address the cold shoulder directly. I’ve noticed she is friendly with the men but not with the women.
I’m not trying to create drama or assert dominance—I just don’t like the dynamic of women competing against women in this way, and I’m unsure how to proceed. I also do not like hearing a lower level girl having an experience like this with a higher belt women