r/BJJWomen

Hi,

I sort of wanted to gauge whether I’m overreacting to an injury I got rolling at a new gym. I recently moved and started at a club that’s very laid back, which is cool but also can be uncool at times. I’m a white belt of ~1 year with a history of shoulder injuries. And as far as the advice being that I shouldn’t have done this in the first place, I really do know that. We had a new guy come to the gym and we had similar jobs so we’re just chatting for about twenty minutes. Really laid back, very nice guy so when he asked if I wanted to roll I said sure. I didn’t ask his rank or experience or anything so was completely thrown off when he went full force and sort of wrestling style. I was in a headlock within four seconds of starting the match because I thought we were just warming up. I absolutely wrenched a kimura and I got six taps out before he stopped. My shoulder is definitely injured.

As far as the possible overreaction, I was leaving to check on my shoulder in the changing room (they dislocate relatively often due to previous injuries), he tried to talk to me and I said I was done rolling and I needed a minute. I came back honestly kind of mad, and then he apologized in front of my coach, who interrupted me saying “it’s okay, injuries happen”. I took issue with this because it wasn’t like someone accidentally got in a strange position or someone got fallen on or something unavoidable, it was a white belt 20 year old man that watched too much wrestling online with no control. Am I overreacting for honestly being mad at both of them? I take a lot more issue with my coach for saying it was okay than a white belt for being a really aggressive partner.

I’m in my 30s F in England and just started bjj, it’s incredibly fun and it’s nice to learn how to control my body in certain situations, self defence etc. I was wondering if there are any signs someone likes to / doesn’t like to train with you? Do they tend to be polite and then just avoid you for the rest of the sessions? i know everyone has vastly different personalities and I’ve had some really kind and helpful rolling partners both M & F that say they hope to train with me again (all different levels) and then I’ve had some quiet people who maybe weren’t so eager to connect / throw tips out. the coach tends to help chose a partner for you at the beginning of the class if you’re new which I’m so grateful for, I guess I’m just curious, also want to make everyone comfortable!

Say you have a round robin or mini tournament at your gym, purely pratice to get some competitive rounds. Do you let white belt guys work/win or do you actually try to win it yourself?

Why did I get an ad about weight loss in the replies q.q lmao

My partner has been offered a transfer to his company’s NY office and we’re trying to figure out where to live, and BJJ is honestly going to be a pretty significant factor for me.

I’m a female brown belt, primarily train no-gi, and BJJ is a big part of my life. I currently live about 10 minutes from my gym and train around 4x a week, so I’m very used to being able to train consistently without a huge commute. I know NYC will be different, but I’d really like to find a gym where I can train regularly and become part of a good community.

I’m less interested in simply finding the “best” gym and more interested in good training + genuinely good vibes/culture.

I’d love opinions on:
- Which gyms have the best culture/community?
- Which gyms have particularly good no-gi?
- Any gyms you’d avoid because of the culture?
- What neighborhoods would you consider living in if BJJ was a major factor?

I’ve thought quite a bit about Renzo Gracie because I’ve trained at a few different affiliates before, but I’ve never actually trained at any of the NYC locations, so I’d be interested to hear what the different academies are like.

I’d especially love to hear from people who have actually trained at or visited different gyms in NYC. Basically, if you were moving to NYC and BJJ was a big part of your life, where would you live and where would you train?

I’m new and I’ve discovered I have an unusually strong closed guard. I am good at finding my way into it and also good at holding it. (Was a professional ballet dancer so maybe thats why?)

I feel like I am seeing the opportunities to get into closed guard, and I can hold it and defend, but then I sort of blank on where to go.

What are some skills or strategies I can work on from there that would take advantage of this particular strength?

Hi, fairly new white belt with a few months of experience here. To preface, I love closed guard and can usually work a bit from that position, but recently I’ve been having issues when rolling with people bigger than me (which is everyone since I’m ~5’2 120lbs). They just lean back and I’m in the air. Grabbing their head and pulling doesn’t really do much either.
Would love some advice :)

I just started and have background in wrestling an judo where being on your back is a no no. Never used closed guard and found myself struggling with locking my ankle. I’m short stocky and on the heavier side. Please drop your tips for working a better closed guard.

I’m a 49 year old brown belt and recently have been experiencing some injuries. Nothing structural, rather nerve issues. I’m also getting a lot of muscle spasms…and man I hate tapping because I’m getting a cramp in my foot or leg lol

For the older grapplers here, mentally how do you not get down? I drilled yesterday, hard. Rolled but started feeling the muscles cramp so I decided to sit the rest of the rounds out. And I just felt shitty about it. Like I was being a little baby but I know better at my age to push it.

I have great grappling partners and I’ve told them I can go 40% and they respect it…but inside I struggle with how being more gentle feels.

Anyone who has dealt with this, how do you keep your head in the game in a positive way?

Thank you and OSS!

Im a women new to jiu jitsu like a month and a half in i take a womens only class and during my last class my couch told me that i am too nice but i really feel like i am trying i dont understand what more i can do if anyone has advice on what more i can do please help

Not really sure what I’m looking for here.. just feeling some type of way and thought maybe letting it out or hearing other people’s experience(s) will help.

I had been training regularly from 2020/2021 up until maybe 9 months ago. I’m 38f and I have two teenage kids. At the time I started, both of my kids were probably under 10 years old. Training always made me feel really great - ’d always feel really good and strong. There were times I’d even use training to get some emotions out, for example, I was mourning 2 close family members (at separate times) and in the middle of a roll, I bursted out into tears. At the time it didn’t feel great, but after class and looking back now, it was/is quite therapeutic. Anyway about 9 months ago, life got pretty busy with kids, sports, work, mental health issues, etc. and I started missing my noon jiu jitsu class here and there. Then it turned into eventually cancelling the membership because I found I wasn’t going much and felt like I was throwing money away. I’m currently a 3 stripe blue belt and had I not stopped last summer, I likely would have promoted to my purple belt back in December. I just get so upset and disappointed when I think about it. It took FOREVER to get my blue belt (which I was fine with, I get it, I’m not a 22 year old kid with fresh new limbs anymore lol, and a family to take care of). When I was on track to get my purple belt I felt amazing. Well now, here I am with the same blue belt as before, feeling disappointed and frustrated with myself. I know it’s not about the color of belt, and that’s not exactly why I’m upset. I guess I’m more upset with myself for falling off training and now struggling to get back to it.. I hate feeling like a statistic (you know, the one where the majority of people and women don’t get past their blue belt). I want to go back - I miss rolling and feeling as strong as I used to, but now, just thinking about it gives me so much anxiety. The thought of showing up to this gym where these guys would get a really hard roll in with me previously and now knowing I’m so out of shape that I’d probably struggle to get through even one 6 minute roll. I don’t know. I’m just feeling a bit.. defeated.

I’m a female coach, about 145lb, so not that big not that small when it comes to other women. With beginner women, I always play off back and only take top position for short periods, and never use pressure.

I usually have no trouble with this with women much larger than me. However, I sometimes have women who are much bigger but also very strong and athletic. For example there’s a new lady who just started who is half my age, at least 30kg bigger and very athletic. I swear if I let her get mount it’ll be hard to get out lol. I’m confident I can manage that, but I don’t really want to put myself through rounds where I’m having to work so hard, just for her to have an easy round.

I feel like with men this is so much easier, I can’t imagine a male coach worrying about the same with new men. I think men expect to get ‘beat up’ by the coach when they start. But with women I feel like there’s an expectation I should take it very easy.

If I wasn’t the coach, I’d be happy to just keep top position and use gentle top control. As I write this, I feel like this is the answer.

Also to add, this is nogi. I don’t do any gi at all, but I imagine in the gi it would be easier to control large beginners.

I’d love to hear experiences from others, from coaches perspective and especially from the perspective of women who have had female coaches.

Hey, I’m a teenager and I’m trying bjj for the first time later today. I believe there’s only men there. Got any tips? I don’t even really know what it entails, just that I’ll get to throw people around. I am a black belt in taekwon-do, but that’s way different.

Update: I’m done! I’m sweaty and I’m ready to begin my long bjj journey! It was super fun and I learnt a lot! It was mainly a beginner class, but I got partnered up with a purple belt and he taught me lots of fun tips and tricks! I will definitely be coming back next week! 💗

So, my Hubbie is a 140lb purple belt who really loves jujutsu. A local gym was was having a a low stakes competition to help with fundraising. I talked him into competing because I thought it would be fun, but it wasn’t.

They did not divide the people up by weight or by belt and the first guy he fought was a 220 pound blue belt who he lost against. He wasn’t too upset about this loss. The no gi fight he went against a 200 pound white belt and lost…he is very discouraged because he doesn’t see the reason in continuing to belt up if weight is the only thing that truly matters in the end.

I didn’t really have anything of value to offer him because I just started training two months ago… surely the strong guy doesn’t always win in the end? It didn’t seem like technique really mattered in the end. Now he just wants to weight train and stay a purple belt. It kind of sucked the fun out of it for him…

Hi everyone,

I want to start my daughter in Brazilian jiujitsu soon. She’s 7 and she’s around 4’5” but she’s weighs 128 lbs. I’m just afraid she will be placed in a weight class with kids much older than her due to her size even though she’s still a very small child personality wise. Does anyone know how these situations are handled? Thanks,

I’m new to BJJ (but I have a serious professional athletic background). I like the format of an open mat because I learn a lot by rolling with different people and having the space to focus on whatever skill I choose. Also helps me to learn the general flow of the thing which is hard when you’re just drilling one particular move in class.

I think I’m a good partner too. I am coordinated, careful, communicative, not crazy, zero ego. Occasionally I even make hilarious jokes 😂

There is one open mat I go to with some other women I met who are higher belts. Earlier this week I tried a new open mat and two guys rejected me when I asked to roll and nobody else was asking me or even making eye contact so I ended up just leaving. Most of the guys were also white belts/new but there were a few with stripes or blue belts. I am nice but I’m not the most outgoing when I’m in a room full of men and doing something I am new at. This is the second time I tried a new one. The other one was also a little awkward but I knew one of the coaches pretty well and he rolled with me at the get go, which seemed to sort of break the seal or something. This most recent one was mega awkward. (Cringing so hard at the rejections lol.)

So is there a trick to this? Or should I stick with my girls and wait to try other open mats until I’m more experienced and confident?

Back in high school I had my knee folded in half sideways.. like side of foot towards my hip and it tore my ACL and some of my LCL. It’s since healed I’m 30 and now I train 4 days a week at bjj/judo. Tonight while rolling my “bad” knee popped. LOUD, but no pain, and this morning it just feels loose… does anyone have any recommendations on a brace or sleeve I could use for drills and rolling that would just help add stability to that knee. That injury was very painful and not fun to heal and I’d rather not go through it again so I’d love to add some support to try and prevent it! Any recommendations would be appreciated :)

What do yall think of wearing a sports bra and no shirt for Gi days? Like you can garuntee the twins won’t fall out and there’s not even cleavage going on. Guys go shirtless all the time so I was wondering if anyone feels a certain way about women doing the same? I shouldn’t care obviously but this is in the name of being considerate to unspoken societal rules.