r/BJJWomen

I am pretty new (6 months) and pretty bad lol. There is one guy in most of my classes who I am very attracted to. He is a black belt, so although he isn’t the coach, he is very slow with me and mostly guides and teaches me. He has been nothing but a gentleman and totally appropriate. Our classes are small so we are partnered a lot. He’s a great teacher (better than the coach sometimes tbh). Drilling or rolling with anyone else, I have zero issues and am very focused on technique/not dying haha. With him, I find myself to be so distracted by the closeness.

Has anyone had this? Will I get over it? It’s not that it’s so horrible. I just worry sometimes that it’s obvious because I’m so focused and normal with everyone else and then with him I’m like a floppy little brain dead fish.

Hi everyone! I'm in my late 20s and not proud to say but I've never been very active my whole life and don't have much muscle. I'm a twig basically. I came across BJJ through a friend who watches MMA and thought it looked like fun honestly. It would be nice to learn self defense too. I just don't know if I have the stamina or physique for it. Should I just go for it or should I start working out first? Thanks ladies!

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I want to take a trip to Boston and NYC for my 40th.

I am debating between a solo trip and inviting some girlfriends.
My main goals are see some cool sites, eat allllllllllllllll the food, visit Salem MA, and run through Central Park.

Ideally, I would find a great place to train while I am there. I am one of only 3 women in my home gym, so very comfortable training with men, but would also love to experience training with only women.

I've never been to either city (I live in a town of less than 3000) so I am open to all recommendations!

Hey all. I just got a stripe last night, and instead of feeling happy I feel huge imposter syndrome. I know our coach uses an "hours in class" system for stripes and promotional belts he puts a little more thought in, but overall I don't think I actually "know" much BJJ for being a 3 stripe blue belt.

There are white belts that come in and know more technique then I do. I blank out and constantly forget basic aspects of sweeps, submissions, and general techniques that I still can't perform correctly (looking at you, anything granby or inverted).

Our gym has the model of 5 or 6 "warm up" down the mat, shrimps etc. Then "Technique of the day" then live rolls. In live rolls I still just try to survive which I am better at going into my 4th year of learning, and don't get the work the "cerebral" chess match aspect of if they do X, I know Y or Z escape, counter, or etc. I just do the 3 to 5 things I always do.

How can I work on my actual intellectual game? Relearn my techniques that don't stick? I am at such a loss and feel the more class I attend the more "behind" i get because I am "ranking up" without learning more.

Anyone experience something similar? Any advise?

Hey y’all!

Two stripe white belt here, I’ve been at my gym for over a year and wanted to ask the group if this behavior is normal/something I can avoid during sparring:

Three times in the last month, separate instances with different white belt men, I’ve gotten my opponent into my closed guard.

Instead of them trying to stand, remove my legs, etc. - they’ll go straight into elbow/forearm across my neck and press their whole weight into it. The last opponent pulled one side of my lapel across my neck and pushed into the mat (not a ‘lapel choke’ like I’ve experienced before from turtle or in side control).

Not to mention it’s extremely unpleasant (physically and mentally) and I feel like it halts the roll.

I want advice because it seems to only come from when I roll with white belt men and I’m not super familiar with DQ behavior outside of being reckless with joints.

I mentioned the first instance to my coach just because the choke wasn’t part of the drill and felt out of place for what we were supposed to be practicing. But now it feels like a pattern in regular sparring? So maybe choking is fair game and I need to improve something in my closed guard?

My last opponent apologized afterward because he said he felt “cheap” doing it - so maybe these guys are just panicking? (Hopefully a sign I’m improving LOL)

I’m interested in any tips or advice yall have! Thank you guys!!

I’ve seen a lot of talk about “old man jiujitsu” lately. And I’m just curious, for the older women and smaller guys, do you feel like the typical “old man jiujitsu” style applies to you? Do you have a different game?

I’ve always felt like the things claimed to be “old man jiujitsu” tend to be things that rely on being slow, heavy, and strong. As a rooster weight woman in my 30s, I’m not sure I could make it work for me. But, maybe one day. Or maybe there’s a different side of jiujitsu for smaller old people?

Curious to hear your experiences and opinions.

I’ve been training BJJ for a few years now and I’m currently a female blue belt, middle aged. My gym is mostly guys, and when we’re working on inside butterfly hooks for things like ankle locks and X-guard, I find the position quite uncomfortable sometimes.

The inside butterfly hook is a good technique, and we’re encouraged to use it because it can make it harder for the opponent to escape. However, the hook sometimes ends up making contact with my crotch for some time, which I find extremely uncomfortable.

I’ve also used the same technique myself, and there have been times when I accidentally made contact with a guy’s groin area. So I understand that it can happen unintentionally on both sides.

I’m wondering if other women who train BJJ have experienced the same thing. Is this something you just get used to, or have you found ways to adjust your positioning or technique to avoid it?

English isn't my first language so pardon the weird phrasing, but I hope I can get my point across.

I got a video of a woman and a dude rolling on my homepage. She triangle chocked him out. Nothing special but the video got posted on a non-bjj-subreddit and the comments are absolutley disgusting. Every single comment is sexualizing her. They don't get that there is nothing sexual about someone trying to dislocate you joints.

I love this sport, it's so fun, but I am (95℅ of the time) the only woman in my gym and I am already always scared to make the guys uncomfortable, it's a really big insecurity of mine.

I just want to cry. The guys at my gym are great and nothing bad ever happened to me and nice but reading those comments really upset me. They are so SO gross. How do you, especially those, who roll with guys most of the time, deal with this? Do you just not think about it? Do you just not read the comments?

2 years, 2 months and 10 days with training dropping a little over the summer.

I was hoping for promotion at some point in the future, but did not expect it at all! I am definitely a target now for some of the white belt guys, but I trust my coach and I know he has high standards.

It's funny because I had signed up to a competition as a white belt and now I'm definitely going to get smashed 😅

Any advice for settling into the new rank?

Okay so I’ve (23 FM) started jujitsu for the first time and I also weight lift. I usually don’t get sore with my current routine but now adding in this new type of workout I’m feeling sore in new places. Okay this may sound like a shitpost but I promise it’s not LOL. Has anyone else felt sore in one half if their body but not the other half? specifically my left glute has been incredibly sore but my right one isn’t and I’m now getting nervous that one half will be stronger than the other 🤣

Hello, I am a newbie to BJJ. Planning to buy a gi.

I am 5 feet 3 inches tall and size UK14 or US10.
Which size do i get?

Posting for a friend—she wears caps during rolling to protect her hair but they always seem to come off. She’s considering buying a sports hijab. She asked me if it could be considered cultural appropriation. I am culturally Muslim but not a hijabi and said I didn’t see it like that, but maybe I’m missing something so thought I’d ask. To me, it’s just a better version of the cap she’s already wearing. Thoughts from hijabis?

It’s me, I’m the newbie! I’ve only been to a handful of classes to date and there are aspects I really like: it’s challenging and humbling, and everyone at my gym seem very nice and they’ve built a good community. But I’m struggling right now because I leave every class absolutely WRECKED for days. The classes are usually games with instruction in between and then rolling. During the games, I don’t even have an opportunity to practice whatever we just went over because I’m immediately subbed or my partner immediately gets free. It’s like I’m using all of my strength during these things to just survive it but none of that energy is going into kinda executing and learning the skill (does that make sense?) and then my body is wrecked for a good 3-4 days after. I know I need to get practicing more - I’m aiming for 3x a week soon but it seems so daunting right now, mainly because I can’t even walk right 2-3 days after.
So, the question: Should I set the expectation now that this is what it is and with practice will gradually come more skill? Is it okay to ask my partner (I dont know anyone at this gym so they are usually assigned to me) “hey - for like the last round would you let me practice? Or pause before the sub so I can just consider an escape (even though I don’t even know any yet!)” Or would it be worth talking to an instructor about how to approach? Yall can even just tell me this is how it goes!! and I’ll have to decide if it’s something for me or not.

1. What originally motivated you to start Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and has that motivation changed over time?
2. Have you ever seriously considered quitting BJJ? What caused those feelings, and what ultimately made you stay or leave?
3. What gets you to training on days when you have absolutely no motivation to go? (If you've stopped training, what made it difficult to keep showing up?)
4. Do you believe there's a particular personality or characteristic that makes someone more likely to stick with BJJ long-term? Why?
5. Looking back, how has BJJ changed you as a person, if at all? Or do you believe it simply revealed qualities you already possessed?

Optional: Please include your age, belt rank (current or last), and how many years you have trained.