u/Perfect-Interview763

I’m in my 30s F in England and just started bjj, it’s incredibly fun and it’s nice to learn how to control my body in certain situations, self defence etc. I was wondering if there are any signs someone likes to / doesn’t like to train with you? Do they tend to be polite and then just avoid you for the rest of the sessions? i know everyone has vastly different personalities and I’ve had some really kind and helpful rolling partners both M & F that say they hope to train with me again (all different levels) and then I’ve had some quiet people who maybe weren’t so eager to connect / throw tips out. the coach tends to help chose a partner for you at the beginning of the class if you’re new which I’m so grateful for, I guess I’m just curious, also want to make everyone comfortable!

35f I have never been a gym girl and now my mindset has completely changed. Stay consistent people! And keep showing up for yourself, whatever your goal is! No one else is going to show up for you. Even if you fall off the wagon with diet stay consistent at the gym. 6 days a week started just doing cardio not having any knowledge of strength training and was intimidated, only wore hoodies as I was self conscious, but I kept showing up. slowly I started introducing machines and strength training, doing split workout alternate days, upping weights and used my introductory free session with personal trainer after going consistently for 3 months just to talk about goals and learn machines. I lost 15lbs in 4 months and am now toned finally have abs and am not wearing hoodies anymore :) and I actually look forward to going to the gym (most days 🤣)

At what point in your journey did it ’click‘ for you? When did your mindset change?

I guess I’m still trying to wrap my head around my reality. I’m not speaking with my mom since the end of last year, it was the death of a thousand pokes with no accountability or apology. When I expressed this to her she threw it back in my face. So I said to her I really need an apology from you, you really hurt me. To which she’s sent a slew of messages like ‘I am apologising’ ‘I am sorry!’ ‘It hurts so much that I failed you’ then she’s said ‘I do not wish to see you hurt so I will step away’ then proceeded to send me photos and ’miss you’ no acknowledgment for my pain or what she’s done / said. She is an incredibly intelligent woman who has 0 emotional intelligence. It’s invalidating and exhausting.

I guess my question is, how should an emotionally intelligent, kind, empathetic and compassionate parent respond in this situation? What would you want to hear?

Exactly what the title says, I’d like to know as I’ve had 2 guy friends do this, is it casual? Affectionate? just curious!