I feel like I’m mourning the Pentecostal life I could have lived
So I’m in the process of leaving, I told my parents I cut my hair and so on. But when I see Pentecostal people on social media or in person who seem happy part of me is sad, because I feel like I’m mourning the life I know I could have had.
I know I wouldn’t have been happy in that life, but sometimes I get mad when I see another 19 year old Pentecostal girl get engaged/married/have their first kid. I know that is the life I don’t want to live, but it was the life that 16 year old me thought I’d have.
I’m so close to fully walking away and it’s hitting me that I will never be supper close with some of my siblings, know all the church drama, and holidays are definitely going to be ‘fun’ now that I’m moving in with my boyfriend.
I don’t want the Pentecostal life I was raised to live, but I feel like I’m still mourning what it could have been. Has or does anyone feel this way?