r/ExPentecostal

I am beginning to look for anyone ages 48- 60 who specifically grew up as part of a traveling evangelical group with the Assembly of God church during the years from 1969 to 1985. I am one of those who grew up in that particular brand of madness. I have yet to find anyone who grew up in that and has deconstructed/reconstructed out of it. I know of few that I grew up with but unfortunately they stayed firmly in that belief system, for example their is prominent current member of a prominent large Christian group who has been recently launched back into the spotlight due to a re release of a song. Did any of us survive.

For me, I remember the beginning of my doubts about gospel assemblies beliefs. There were many, but one interaction In particular.

I was riding in the car with an older relative, and I asked a question. “ why doesn’t our young people do any witnessing or mission work?” You see I had a small group of mainstream Christian friends, who were talking about spreading the gospel. Whether it be in soup lines, relief work or mission trips to different parts of the world. They would say things like, it’s in the great commission, go into the world and make disciples of all the nations!

It sounded foreign to say out loud, but I had remember reading it somewhere at some point in my Bible. It sounded great! It’s what Jesus told us to do with his message. And since we were taught we had the most truth, I felt we were missing out on a huge opportunity for our church to grow.

So I asked this question, why aren’t we spreading the truth to as many people as possible?

The response….. that’s not our job. That is for the rest of the religious world to do. I was very confused. They went on to say, our job is to reach perfection and help teach these other Christian’s the real truth in the first resurrection. We will help them become perfect then. But if they don’t accept it, they will perish in the second death.

This was hard to hear. My other Christian friends were all in with their faith. They lived it, talked about constantly and with passion. Most of them knew their scripture FAR better than I did. There’s no way they could be that far off.

It was this very conversation that happened 2 decades ago, that caused me to start questioning my faith.

I’m curious, if anyone is willing to share. What did that moment look like for you?
How did it feel in that moment?
How long did you stay in after?

Feel free to post or message me and tell me your story,

I was born and raised in the Apostolic Assembly of the faith in Christ Jesus which is essentially Hispanic Pentecostal’s.

Between the ages of 12-16 my mother SA’d me. I always felt at fault because I initiated it and felt ashamed and guilty about what happened. It’s still hard to process but eventually I was able to stop the abuse that was happening on my own behind closed doors and developed boundaries for myself that should have been taught to me. Till this day my mother has never addressed it and expects endless access to my kids and acts heartbroken when I don’t give her that and surprised that I’m for the most part estranged.

I was always so confused and ashamed about it but as an adult and newly minted father for 2 years now I see what happened differently now. It hurts that church instead of being a place where I could have gotten help became an institution that normalized the shame and guilt I felt behind closed doors. My mother not only did not stop the behavior but let it continue and shamed me for it but never corrected it. I’ve always felt responsible and eventually broke that shame driven behavioral cycle in me at the age of 16.

As a dad if any of my kids experienced that I would not only get them the help they needed but I would also hold that adult regardless of who it may be accountable. There would be no church or institution that could save them or any pastor that could use the spiritual authority card on me or my family, that’s a huge part of why I eventually left. If my kids where to explain what happened to them and it was my word for word experience I would say they were groomed and some behaviors that weren’t normal in a parent/ child relationship were normalized and that the way they responded even tho not okay was not their fault. I am much harsher on myself though, part of it is because of how the church was anti therapy, anti psychology, ant higher education and anti anything that was opposed to oneness doctrine/ spiritual authority.

Can anyone relate to this? Sometimes I feel like I’m blowing this out of proportion.

So I’m in the process of leaving, I told my parents I cut my hair and so on. But when I see Pentecostal people on social media or in person who seem happy part of me is sad, because I feel like I’m mourning the life I know I could have had.

I know I wouldn’t have been happy in that life, but sometimes I get mad when I see another 19 year old Pentecostal girl get engaged/married/have their first kid. I know that is the life I don’t want to live, but it was the life that 16 year old me thought I’d have.

I’m so close to fully walking away and it’s hitting me that I will never be supper close with some of my siblings, know all the church drama, and holidays are definitely going to be ‘fun’ now that I’m moving in with my boyfriend.

I don’t want the Pentecostal life I was raised to live, but I feel like I’m still mourning what it could have been. Has or does anyone feel this way?

Just watched this tonight and was absolutely blown away by it, so thought I’d start a discussion thread. Without giving too much away, it follows a Pentecostal evangelist who was forced by his parents to begin preaching when he was just 4 years old, which he admits was basically just a grift, but he goes on preaching into his 30s anyways because it’s the only way he knows how to make money. I can see how people might take issue with his hustle, but I honestly found myself really relating to him on a lot of levels and appreciate that he made the documentary to expose the hoax. Super charismatic and interesting guy, and a very well made documentary.

What are some religious tendencies you still have even after deconstruction and leaving the church?

I was watching a video essay on religious residue and I was curious to see what other people struggle with. Like for example having a hard time saying “Oh my god” and substituting it for “gosh.”

One I have is struggling with not calling those I used to attend church with bother / sister [insert last name]. Sometimes I find myself struggling to remember their first name due to me just referring to them as brother or sister.

Hi there,

I wanted to share my story and hear advice from others’ who maybe had a similar upbringing. I was in a small Pentecostal school next to the church but it was the “mega” church of our town. I went there from Kindergarten up until 5th grade until the school closed due to less student being enrolled in the “middle and high school classes”. We were using the A Beka program from kindergarten up until 3rd grade and transferred to the PACES or ACE program. I was bullied horribly especially for my smaller eyes and slightly tan skin since I’m a white mixed native girl, kids would make fun of me saying I was a Chink, or run around me in a circle with their hands covering and making a “war whoop” sound just to make me cry.
A couple of pastors boys would hit me, throw rocks at me, and one time especially this boy got mad at me and chased me around gym grabbing my hair in a ponytail and slamming me on the gym floor. He tried to get on top of me and I think he was trying to choke me, I was able to get away and ran into the girls’ bathroom and slid under the stall to hide. A girl was in the stall using it and started screaming, I ran into a different stall and stayed hidden while crying silently. A teacher came in and punished me for going under the stall and scaring the girl and didn’t try to hear me out and of course the pastors sun didn’t get in trouble. Instead I was suspended, and the next day the teacher put us together and started saying we needed to pray for each other to become friends. This was part of the hell I experienced daily before going to public school, but the exposure of being isolated from everything and being taught girls needed to be submissive it brainwashed me I’m so glad I made it out later on, but I’m grieving for this poor girl that was me in an cult environment like that. I feel like I am now playing catch up with the world and giving myself grace while trying to learn actual science for the first time and Writing since I never learned grammar the correct way. My parents always told me I had learning difficulties and tried to have me learn more on how to be a house wife and get experience to work with children than to get me the help I need to achieve college, yet they invested in my younger sister to go to a four year after she graduated and has more of a chance since she didn’t rebel much in school like I did and at home.
It saddens me how much I’ve lost those precious years ago and it’s something I’m working on in therapy. I have a huge curiosity for our world and how science comes up with hypothesis and experiments to understand the world around us better. It’s motivating but I’m scared to go to school and get a degree since my fundamental education wasn’t accredited, but my public education from 6-12 was public and I struggled heavily. Would there be hope potentially for me to be successful in this world and be able to get an education. I also struggle to make friends in my adult life now, I’d love to be able to have a wonderful friend groups and go do things together. But it’s very hard to socialize or go do things and make those connections or knowing how to.
Any advice is appreciated.

Literal , son tan desagrables que hasta los otros cristianos no quieren saber de ellos , son gente que en su mayoria saben mas de griterio emocioens y saltitos pero saben de teologia lo que yo se de fisica nuclear, para ellos casi que todo lo que no sea pentecostal no es cristiano o es moralmente terrible , suelen ser gente muy terca , maleducada , arrogante y prepotente y al final critican a los catolicos de idolatras cuando la mayoria de pentecostales solo siguen a su pastor de forma ciega.

Ojo no digo que toda la gente que va o crecio en iglesias pentecostales es asi pero en linea general su ambiente fomenta estas actitudes.

Tithing is not a command for Christians given anywhere in the New Covenant. If I am mistaken to please show me the verse where Christians are commanded to pay a tithe. The idea that the tithe was 10% of your monetary salaried or waged income was simplified from earlier non-Biblical European traditions and then popularised in the 1830's by Joseph Smith of the Mormons, from then it was quickly adapted by the Seventh Day Adventists (both sects today are worth many billions, some say about $300 Billion), and from the late 1800's it was adopted by a wide range of evangelicals, so that today many sects from Calvinists to Pentecostals and Charismatics claim that they pay tithes. This post is not asking for scriptural proof for "giving," it is entirely focused entirely upon Biblical tithing. If you quote Genesis 14, are you then saying that the Abrahamic Covenant applies today so that Christians must keep that too and offer burnt offerings (Genesis 22:13)? Is the New Covenant unable to fully save us and to Christ's work Christians today ought to keep additionally the Abrahamic Covenant? Bit if you believe that the tithing commands of the Old Covenant apply today, then they paid three not a single tithe (Deuteronomy 14:20-29) of agricultural produce (not money) and only from only the land of Israel, with a 7 and 50 year cycles of non-tithing. But people today do not do this in evangelical Churches, nobody does this today, they instead follow the greatly simplified system popularised by Joseph Smith. Modern Day tithing is both unbiblical and it is also a scam for grifters stealing from their congregations.

When I was a kid, someone would speak in tongues to the pastor then someone from the audience would translate into English what the other person said in tongues.

What the hell is this type of glossolalia, and why did everyone act like that was exactly it? Anyone else have similar experiences? (I was raised in the church, got myself out 6 years ago at age 15)

Me and my spouse are in the process of deconstructing and have been for around a year. We are physically in, mentally out. Have any of you had or have the thoughts of being scared to leave because of something bad happening like cancer/sickness and it’ll be “because you left the truth”? I struggle with this so bad. That along with being afraid to leave because 90% of my family is still in the UPCI.

Has anyone else struggled with this? What did you do to overcome it?

I’m gonna list a lot of examples and give some back story. Sorry I’m just kinda realizing a lot and want to know if anyone relates.

I began going to an ”apostolic Pentecostal“ church a year and a half ago. I was invited by a girl who liked me and I went cause I was looking for a new church. I was raised in a baptist church, super involved in church. Left the church for a few years in early 20’s but still maintained faith. Long story short, I came back to church with a new fervor. Landed at this Pentecostal church and everyone is the friendliest person ive ever met. Almost so friendly it’s mind blowing. This girl who invited me and I end up dating. I got baptized and this is where the weirdness began. Obviously they believe in oneness and the whole baptize in Jesus‘ name. I was more so getting re-baptized as a sort of re-dedication cause as an adult I wanted to reaffirm my faith after some time sort of lukewarm about it. They told me it was basically id never been saved. Or if they didn’t say it, when I explained my faith they kinda nodded their head and looked at me sideways like I was an idiot. But that was no biggie, I kinda moved on.

This girl and I get bumpy and we break up. In this time, I start to see people’s true colors. she was my “in” to the “inner group” of people but once I wasn’t dating her they wouldnt even acknowledge me. And once I started to put myself out there to try and make friends or conversation, I was met with a lot of judgement about my lifestyle choices. I used to live a more shady life with drugs and alcohol but I cleaned it up. what they judged me for was going to non-Christian things like local concerts or bar trivia, where I didn’t drink or participate in anything remotely sinful. just being there. I’d asked a guy friend if he wanted to come to a concert and once he found out it wasn’t christian it got weird. Same with the bar trivia. i respect them not wanting to but it was the sort of passive judgement.

The girl and I get back together and suddenly I matter again. But now it’s weird. I’m sort of treated like a problem. This manifests in a dramatic way when the 20’s-30’s group has a month of “doctrine discussions” wherein they basically preach oneness and baptize in Jesus’ name. Only their approach wasn’t “heres what we believe and why.” It was “here’s some of what we believe and in contrast to everyone else and why everyone else is wrong”

As someone who came from a different denomination and am friends with many denominations of Christian church, I noticed how wrong they represented the belief of others. Like they claim that others are “trithiests” if they are trinitarian. That’s garbage, you have to dig so hard to find even a single person who believes in three gods in the Christian faith. Trinitarian doctrine is that there’s one God still, they don’t contradict. When I said this, I was told I had a “hostile spirit” and that this wasn’t a Bible study. Mind you, they said ”any questions?” At the end and all I did was ask why they represented other denominations so poorly. And then got told it’s not a debate. I felt like I was being sort of manipulated to be a “bad spirit” for just asking. I had no agenda to change anyone’s mind, I don’t even really care if they agree with me or not.

well another night happens of this. This time I ramp it up a bit more and bring up the niceme creed, I bring up some of the holes in their arguments and basically dismantle the idea that theyre not “extrabiblical” when they’re literally citing philosophies coined in the 1900’s. I get shut down and am told I can’t speak anymore in this venue for the night.

The man who hosts this was my “mentor” there so he meets up and says I approached it with hate in my heart. I admit the second night I approached it with a sort of agenda to fight back and that I wasn’t gonna be pushed around. I apologized to the extent that I know I could’ve approached it better. But I told him he was full of crap if he thinks I was gonna get pushed around. From then on, I’m treated really coldly. Until this same guy asks me to share my testimony. My upbringing was a little on the abusive side with many years of physical/sexual abuse in my home. I don’t say this for pity’s sake, it’s part of the story. He wants me to just share it and I’m comfortable sharing it so I did. Afterwards he gets up and says this whole speel about me about how “maybe he wasn’t being himself before. Maybe he was putting on a front. Something we all do sometimes” which okay fair. I’m not above admitting sometimes I’ve acted one way due to my past. By now if you’re still reading I think you can agree I’m a pretty self aware person Though. I felt like he was using my story to essentially write off what I did before, bring me back into the fold, but more so to delegitimize anything I ever said. Like “oh it’s not his fault he’s wrong, he’s just sad” lol. and then he went on this whole rant about not causing division. And since then that’s his thing with me is not causing division. Mind you, I do not share my personal beliefs at this place EVER. I’ve learned better.

Sometime during the period this doctrine talk first started, I began serving on the worship team on sundays. This was great as I love music and worship and I wanted to serve.

It was here I realized the culture is so friendly until it’s not. You’re allowed in, but not IN. Unless you truly and drastically conform.

They had me sign a spiritual expectations contract that includes things about drinking, cussing, sex outside marriage, what we wear on sundays, and a subjective claus about “adherence to cultural standards“ that could sort of be used against you at their will seemingly.

I hated it but some part of me felt compelled to give it a go and lower my pride.So I did. Weekly, I got reprimanded for the smallest things till it became clear they were targeting me and some others. It began with me leaving the top button of my shirt undone. something I do cause my build, not to show off or draw attention. I would button it up for them when asked. But then became about what I wore (never dressed innapropriately), where I sat in church (something they added to the contract later) and even about the two rings I wear. i Have long hair and a beard which already I think put a bad taste in their mouth about my commitment level (no evidence, I’m projecting with that one so take it with a grain of salt). But when I wore two gold rings. One in honor of my grandpa, one very non flashy one I just liked. They didn’t like it cause it was “distracting“ and they added a clause to the contract I believe just cause of me

I was getting worn out. But truly, it got worse. One day I leave my jacket on stage before the first service. The production team sends a kid to tell me to move it. I’m talking to a friend at the moment so I say “yeah I will in a sec, thanks” they send him back not 30 seconds later “they want you to move it now” to which I kinda laugh and say “yeah okay, in a minute.”
I then see this kid coming back to me with the hand of a production guy on his shoulder who is pushing this kid at me like he’s putting him in detention. He gets to me, look at the kid and says “you watch, this is a lesson for you” and the turns to me and says “you’re gonna take that coat rigut now and move it” and I say “no I’m not” he says “you’re gonna move it now or I am and I tell you what I’m not moving it. So go”

I give it a sec so as to not say anything mean. And then move it. I go back and tell him he’s being innapropriate and that it’s not a big deal, I was gonna move it in a second but I wanted to finish my conversation, servuce wasn’t for 20 minutes. He goes on a tirade about how im lucky to get this moment of mentoring right now cause he could get mad if he wanted and that his authority was being challenged in that moment and I was being a bad example to the kid. Which. Okay. your Influence on the next generation matters. But I didn’t say no? I just said in a minute. He went on this whole rant about us creating an experience for newcomers to see God for the first time and said “if you leave your laundry around we look trashy” and I explained I was gonna move it. But then he confirmed it was a power play cause he just raised his voice about how he’s in charge. At that point I started to realize the two key contentions I have here:

1. they’re so focused on growing, they’ve deligitimized themselves.
2. Their power is absolute to them and if you challenge it, you challenge God. In their eyes at least

Things get worse. We have a Christmas service that requires extra practices every week for a month leading up. They reprimand people for being literally a minute late. But every practice goes an hour over at least. And then if you say you’re leaving they go cold on you, regardless of if you have plans, priorities, family, or just want to go home cause you comnitted to two hours, not four.

Easter is the same. At the practice for Easter I got called out for chewing gum. during practice mind you. They tell me to spit it out. I didn’t cause at this point I dont respect a thing they say. And I’m told I’m not taking it seriously. I get reprimanded for any mistake I make, even when I don’t make one it feels like.

every service before worship the worship leader talks about how we’re doing something so special and meaningful and how we have to deliver cause we have to crate the experience for God to enter the room and all. It all starts to sound like a joke. And also if anyone is vaguely tired they’re criticized for not delivering enough. as if we can take away from God? Idk it All sounds so silly anynmore

im not a jump around the room guy but I have a good amount of energy, they don’t like my energy cause it’s not the dramatic one and it’s not jumping up and down like a fish out of water. It’s more fun loving. I love God and music and that’s enough for me, I have nothing to prove. But I’m not on my knees everytime there’s a slow song or with my hands outstretched. so I get criticized for that.

The worship leader creates an extra “lifegroup” for the worship team members to enhance their skills. It’s now expected you go to it even though you’re already committed 2 hours minimum to practice night, 5 hours minimum to service on sundays, the crazy hours expected for holidays, and then the practice you have to do at home. And then they say you have to show up to every prayer meeting too.
and it suddenly becomes all about “we’re growing, help us grow” and now I’m getting texts about where I park cause if I park out front I’m taking a spot away from a potential new comer that may need it.

just today, I’m sitting with my girl and we’re laughing at something during The sermon. Mind you, very respectfully quiet. The associate pastor gestures to me and says “hey maybe listen” and I was like “sure whatever”

after service he comes up and says “we got a standup comedy goin on? What’s up? There’s guests here” and I just said “sure” and hes sitting there seemingly waiting for an apology or something. He goes on a bit more and honestly my better judgement of “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all” kicked in and I straight up ignored him. Like just cold shouldered him while he kept talking. Mind you i served at this church and saw behinds the scenes. All the staff are NOT paying attention during service or doing anything important. They’re sending each other videos and inside jokes all day. But that goes on to reaffirm to me that they’re friendly and want new comers. but to truly become accepted, you have to conform to the lifestyle. Not just the rules, the whole life. You must exude it constantly and become like them. Then maybe they’ll accept you and you can be in. But otherwise you’re a bad influence.

Also some of their rules are written. But most of them you don’t know are there till you’ve stepped over them or broken them. So it’s this constant moving goal post of expectations.

I quit the band and was met with “is it about me? Do you not like me?” From the worship leader. He was nice. But it felt like he was trying to control his image and not find out what the root of the problem even was.

I’ve written a lot and honestly left out a lot.

if you Read it all, I’d love to know your opinions and experiences. I’d be happy to clarify on anything

Hi all, I hope everyone's well. I feel like I've reached the last stage and I don't know who else to turn to, so I've been deconstructing now for the past, I'm gonna say, two years, slowly but gradually. I'm a preacher's kid. I come from a black British family, a long line of pastors, and our family is in the church, church is family, family is church. And I've been deconstructing secretly, I mean, I've told my partner and one close family member, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to unpack everything, to find community to help with this because all the community that I've grown up in are in the church. There's no one that I trust. There's no one that I know actually that has deconstructed and I can go to almost to get help, to speak about it. I'm trying to go to therapy. It's too expensive. And yeah, I'm just in dire need of support from other people that have been through it. Because at the moment, it feels just so lonely, all these questions in my head, all these doubts. It's almost like a grieving process and I have no landing space. So I'm just floating in midair. Obviously, life continues to happen, the hardships of life. And now not having a faith source or questioning the faith source that I have has literally sent me into orbit. And I just would love to hear from people that are on the other side or, you know, can direct me on where to go, where to look for these communities.

Growing up the holy ghost was always lost people going to the altar at the end of service to pray for forgiveness. Once they pass out and start speaking in tongues—hyperventilating—they have the holy ghost and must get baptized.
I saw some videos of completely different beliefs. People are “catching” it when the preacher lays hands on them or even points at them. They fall out and start jumping, doing all the things.
If you have experience with holy ghost havers what was it like? Is it something you “catch” or something you get once and keep forever?

Just something I’ve observed about UPCI preachers throughout my life. They talk so big and loud but if you really listen, their language is very insecure. You believe in something so strongly you’ve dedicated your entire life to it but all throughout your sermon you’re dropping phrases like, “Is this making sense? Am I boring you today? Can I get an amen? Is this resonating with anyone? Am I making sense? Are you hearing me? Well 3 people heard that. Well 3 people agree with me” (while the entire congregation is applauding.) I understand that they’re only human but dang brother, do you believe what you’re saying or not? Has anyone else experienced this? Is it guilt tripping? Just the fact that they’re still human showing?

This is a non - exhaustive list on how to recognize Pentecostals

1 - they’re big money beggars especially for the missionaries

2 - they role play their feelings ( they tell you you miss to them but that’s not true. They just faking their feelings for good clout.)

3 - their services are always emotional.

4- their gospel is always turning and rolling around the power of a man.

5 - when they can’t answer questions, they blaming it on the ennemy.

6 - their pastors tryna look great in front of the crowd but in their office , not the same feeling. They’re mean as fuck with the brothers and sisters of the church.

7- they’re faking the emotions at their best meaning that always you go in a Pentecostal church, they just crying and running around.

8 - they tryna control everything they can as to secure their own sanity for the good sake of their business.

Many more points to come………

Good day everyone. Since the new Michael Jackson biopic “Michael” is now being shown in cinemas and many people are revisiting his life and legacy, I just wanted to respectfully ask something.

Do you truly believe Angelica Zambrano’s testimony when she said Michael Jackson is in hell?

I’m asking sincerely because verses like James 4:12 and 1 Corinthians 4:5 seem to teach that final judgment belongs to God alone, and that only God fully knows a person’s heart and final moments.

This is not meant to attack anyone’s faith or testimony. I genuinely want to understand your perspective in a respectful discussion. God bless everyone.

this is a rant but genuinely why does everything have to be some kind of “powers of darkness” “spiritual warfare” moment ? when i want to do something harmless (go shopping with a friend i’ve known for 15 years, in this specific case), it turns into some spirit of rebellion nonsense ?? all i said is “i’m going to the city with my friend in the morning”, why does that make you pray loudly in tongues about it at 1 am ??? why are you calling it “dark forces” genuinely what is your issue i can’t comprehend it, why is everything warfare with these people why are they so insane about everything ??