u/Educational_Lack2831

19M Im here to talk about my experience of infantilization. So growing up all of the other kids were treated way better than I was. They were also treated like the age I was. Meanwhile my family members treated me like a baby. I was bought age innapropiate clothes and toys throughout my life .and I wasn’t allowed to pick out my own clothes. But all of the other kids were allowed to pick out whatever they wanted to wear. Also my family did a lot of talking for me when it came to introducing me and would never let me talk for myself. They would also talk about how I acted like a baby. Well maybe if yall didn’t treat me like one then I would’ve acted older. But I don’t see how reacting to there abuse was acting like a baby. Even in my teen years they would continue this same pattern.

They would punish me for no reason by taking my phone and saying “ you’re being a child”. One day I was in the car with my mom on the way from my psychiatrist appointment and she was very abuse on the way back home. All because I reported the abuse she was doing to me. And she took my phone because I began recording how violent she was being towards me.And she said to 17 yo me at the time “ nope your being a child”. This shit has caused other people to view me as childish. And I became very co dependent and naive from all of this abuse. I’m now working on being an independent individual and having boundaries. Because I was never taught this in my blood family.i am still angry from all of the years of this abuse that I had to deal with from them. They treated me like less all because I was autistic😔.

What fucks me up the most is how they infantilized me but also didn’t educate me enough . My mother would take away my internet access so I wouldn’t look things up online to educate myself because she wouldn’t educate me. She took me out of school a lot growing up. She took me out of school in 8th grade and didn’t sign me back up until 10th grade year . And I ended up repeating 9th grade all because of her. And kids were bullying me about that. She also took me out of school that year. and didn’t sign me back up until senior year and I ended up having to repeat 11th grade. Omg I hate my blood mother so much apathy towards her has gotten the best of me atp.

Also when I tried to mature while I was staying with her she still treated me like a child. When I wanted to do mature teenager things.She would say I was copying others. Even tho I wasn’t it would be things I was actually interested in.

19M When I was 14 I went on a walk in my neighborhood. And this 16M talked to me and we were talking. I didn’t have any sexual attraction towards him. And his cousins falsely accused me of liking him. And they said that we should have sex and I said no. Due to being autistic and being heavily abused at home and not having an education system. I didn’t know how to navigate this dangerous situation. So 2 of the kids out of the group 2 12 yo guys. And the 16 yo boy lured me behind a dog house. And the other guys stood in front of the dog house. And while me and this guy are behind the dog house.

He pulls out his penis and coerces me into oral sex. And I said “ what if the others see I don’t wanna do this”. And he says “ just come on do it there not gonna see”. And so I did it because he wouldn’t stop asking.Then his little brother runs behind the dog house and sees this disgusting thing I was forced to do by him and the whole group of kids. And the group of kids also came behind the dog house as well and laughed. He then runs somewhere else and coerces me to do it again.So Iater on while I’m looking for the others to hang out with them.

He pops out of nowhere and pulls down his pants and lures me into someone’s backyard and coerces me into oral sex again. And then he made me remove my clothing and then he raped me very badly it hurt so bad and I mentioned that and he didn’t care and told me to “ just take it”.And before he let me leave he made me swallow his semen. And after that he said “ go home and don’t tell anyone”. I went home and checked my boxers because my bottom area was hurting and I had blood on my boxers. 1 month later I told my mom and her friend about this situation.

And they were highly abusive about it they sexualized me. And told me I wanted it. And my mom said I was being a “hoe”. And one night my mom friend pulled tarot cards and asked the cards “ should I beat this child” and then she beat me. I think she was going through spiritual psychosis and projected that shit on to me. They also made fun of me and said that I slept with the guy. And made jokes about my sa. I wouldn’t even had been in this situation had my family raised me better and had not treated me like shit my whole entire life. My mom’s friend whooped me with an iPhone cord that night she did beat me she also called me a “ whore “. And my mom sat there and allowed it and cheered her friend on. My mom and her friend punished me the summer of 2021 is when all of this took place. And she decided to make me watch kids the whole summer to teach me a “lesson” . They also told me “ no more hoe clothing” which I don’t even see how crop tops are that type of clothing it just shows your stomach and that’s it. And they took away all my crop tops and wore them themselves. They took also away my phone.

This situation fucked me up so bad I am now 19 going on 20 and it still fucks with me sometimes the lack of support I had. And the fact that those kids did that to me. It’s even hard to talk about this without getting mad. I was so angry typing this. I made this post because I had a flashback about this situation due to having ptsd. I ended up doing a tarot spread on healing sexual trauma about this situation to help me get through this cause I never fully healed from it.

19M Hi I’m a survivor of family ableist abuse and here’s my story. I was diagnosed with level 1 mild autism at 9 years old. But before I was diagnosed and even after being diagnosed I was often abused by family members for my autistic behavior. The ableist abuse all started at 5 years old. I would get beaten with objects when I accidentally choked on my food. I was often called the r slur at home for any autistic behavior I had. Any of my stims were mocked and constantly talked about at family gatherings. My mom would beat me for having meltdowns after she caused them after telling me abusive things. I also grew up in a highly religious family so they would try to “pray” my autism away. They would say things like “ you need to get delivered from your stims “. At my diagnosis appointment my mom and aunt shamed me for my natural autistic behaviors . At my diagnosis appointment when the doctor asked “ what has helped with these behaviors” and my aunt and mom said “ beatings have helped” .

Because they beat me for every natural autistic behavior I had. They also refused to educate me and my mom would often pull me and my siblings out of school. So I was super uneducated growing up. And when I did go to school I was bullied badly for natural autistic behaviors. I was also punished by teachers for natural autistic behaviors. Because they saw me as a disruptive kid. Not knowing I had a rough home life. I was scared to ever talk to a counselor about the abuse I suffered at home. Because I thought the abuse would worsen. So cps never got involved and I had to suffer from this type of abuse for years. When cps was called by someone else when I was 15 my mom left the house with her friend. And made me and my siblings move to Texas . I moved out at 18 and went no contact with my abusers at 19.Also after getting punished at school for my autistic behavior I would either get yelled at or beaten at home.

I ended up in a lot of dangerous situations growing up because I did not know how to navigate them.because no one ever taught me how to navigate danger. I knew danger I just didn’t know how to navigate it due to being traumatized so early. And not having anyone teach me how to protect myself.And when I spoke up about me getting raped at 14 to my mother and her friend. They shamed me and sexualized me and said I slept with the guy. And they called me a bunch of disgusting names. My mother’s friend also beat me with an iPhone cord because she thought I was being “ grown”. They really punished me for getting sa. When I gained major depression from all of this trauma. Starting at 11 years old my mom would make fun of my depression and call me ungrateful for it. I attempted suicide at 12 after being screamed at by my grandma. When I was 17 I spoke up about all of the childhood sexual trauma I experienced from family members and others my family did not care at all. They blamed me and swept it under the rug.

My mom would also take away my special interests and that rlly broke my heart. Everytime she was mad at me she would punish me. When I had meltdowns she would take away my phone. So I had no internet access to watch things I liked. She would also often call me a brat for having lots of special interests. One day when I was 9 she was so angry at me for no reason and made me throw away all of my shopkins and also beat me and told me she was going to hit me 100 times. She also beat me the next day because she got tired of hitting me. I collected over 70 of them and my collection is forever gone because of her if it wasn’t for her I would’ve still had it till this day because I hold on to things I collect. She also threw away my Lego collection and called them “ stupid legos “ while angrily throwing them out and I had a big box of them. She also threw away my Disney doll collection. As of now I’ve been trying to collect toys as an adult because I had my whole childhood tooken away from me. I’ve been healing using tarot,journaling,meditation and collecting things all over again.

19M Hi I am here to share my story about apostolic pentecostal religious trauma. So whenever I was 8 years old I lived in this christain homeless shelter with my mom and sister. I was one day bought a christain Bible against my will. And I was forced to read it every night.My mom made me and my sister go to this Sunday school every Sunday. Then one day this apostolic family of 3 moved in. We were also forced to go to these christain camps.And she invited my mom to church. And so me and my sister were forced to go to this church. We were forced to speak in tongues and catch the “ Holy Ghost” and if we didn’t we were paddled when we got home. The pastor at this church made homemade paddles and my mom got one just for me and my siblings. And she used it on us everytime we “ disobeyed” or did anything “ worldly”. At this church we weren’t allowed to wear jewelry or short sleeves or pants or shorts we had to wear dresses and skirts all the time. And as a trans man I hated that because it made me super dysphoric. The pastor would make up rules that weren’t even in the Bible and sometimes he even said misogynistic things. “ women have to wear long sleeves and skirts past the calves and long dresses to appear less appealing to men” . He even made up rules like “ no watching tv that’s worldly “ . But everyone’s house we went too from that church had a tv. They were hypocrites. We weren’t allowed to paint our nails or hang out with anyone outside of this religion. We also weren’t allowed to listen to songs that weren’t Christian. And I hated that because I don’t like Christian music.I was in a whole apostolic cult and it was horrifying. I have diagnosed autism and adhd and my mom would physically abuse me for natural audhd traits and would use the Bible as an excuse. She would always use the stupid line “ spare the rod spoil the child”. My aunt had moved into to town one day and she’s my mom’s sister and she would also abuse us the same way my mom did. My mom’s friend also abused us. Sometimes they even made us remove our clothing and would beat us naked. One day we moved to a different city and we went to 2 different apostolic churches. These churches was just as bad as the first one we went too except there were slightly different rules. Every school I went to I would get bullied for the hairstyles I wore and for wearing dresses all the time it was horrible because it was something completely out of my control.At one of the churches I was forced to be baptized at 10 years old.From years of this trauma it caused me to be really scared to come out of the closet as trans and gay because I would get told a lot if I ever wore men’s clothes or slept with another man I would go to hell. I was brainwashed so I believed it for years. I am now an atheist I don’t believe in god I didn’t from the start I was just forced into believing in him for years . I lost a sense of identity for a while it took me a long time to figure out who I really was. I am now a gay trans man and I’ve been using tarot,journaling,meditation to heal all my trauma. This abuse didn’t stop until I was 19 when I decided to go full no contact with the toxic family members.

I’ve been thinking about this situation from 2 months ago.When I was with 2 male friends and we were gonna pet this lady’s dog .And she said “ my dog has been abused by men”.Because her dog was scared to come up to us and she randomly asked me “ are you a man too “.And felt my chest and fake apologized and it made me super uncomfortable .Because I don’t have top surgery yet and was only binding. And she also kept purposely misgendering me after being corrected several times by me and my friends.And she kissed me in my mouth without my consent.And also called me a creature. And she wouldn’t stop calling me cute. And she wouldn’t stop kissing me on the cheek without asking.She was being very predatory towards me and I deal with a lot of these types of people for some weird reason.I have diagnosed ptsd and it causes me to freeze in these situations besides defending myself and sometimes I feel like less of a man for not standing up for myself. I just don’t get why people like to fetishsize me and treat me like I’m less human. Most of the world sees me as a guy and it’s always those few people who just fetishsize me and see me as what they want me to be along with fake confusion cause I don’t even look like a girl.

19M I am here to share my story about religious trauma.At the age of 8 I was forced into the apostolic Pentecostal religion. Growing up I stayed in this Christian homeless shelter with my mom and my sister. I was bought a children’s Bible against my will. I was forced to read it every night and was forced to pray every night. I was so confused because I have always been an atheist. Months later this apostolic family of 3 moved in and they were our roommates. They invited me and my mom and sister to church. So we went. And then after that my mom decided to follow this religion and I hated it because there was too many rules including rules that weren’t even in the Bible. They also used there religion as an excuse to abuse children. My mom followed every rule the pastor and people at the church told her. And she made us follow those rules as well and paddled us if we “ disobeyed “. We were forced to wear skirts and dresses and as a trans man I hated that. We were forced to wear certain hairstyles. We weren’t allowed to wear any jewelry or paint our nails.and we weren’t allowed to wear makeup. All of those appearance rules really messed with me because I loved makeup and jewelry I still do and now I wear it because I’m not going through this abuse anymore. The pastor would make up stupid rules like no watching tv,no social media,no long sleeves. It felt so controlling. This abuse lasted for years and my aunt was also involved in it when she moved to the town me and my mom and sister was living in she joined in on the abuse. I have diagnosed autism I was diagnosed at 9. And my mom and aunt would beat me for every autistic behavior. They were super violent and would blame it on “ god “ or the Bible. I was forced into baptism at 10. I was forced to be baptized. At every church service I felt so uncomfortable and embarrassed because I was beat at church sometimes. My mom would take me and my siblings to the bathroom and beat us when we wouldn’t pay attention in church. And of course I wasn’t gonna pay attention because I am an atheist I didn’t believe and I still don’t believe that god exists. I also have diagnosed adhd so it would be really hard to focus at times and I would just get beat by either my mom or aunt. The church members and my mom and aunt would force me to speak in tongues,dance and force me into something they called the “ Holy Ghost” it was so scary for me to go through All of this . They would also not allow me to dress masculine and if I did i either got shamed and told I would go to hell or I was beaten for it.this abuse took place for 10 years. I’m also a survivor of domestic violence and the guy that dv me was going through religious psychosis and he forced it on me. I’m a gay trans man and he would use certain scriptures against me . And he would force me to pray and read the Bible. He would yell things at me like “ the Bible says if a man lies with another man he is an abomination to god I’m not trying to be no fucking abomination” he would yell homophobic and transphobic things at me. I was in this situation when I lived at a homeless shelter because I was only 18 I also didn’t know any better because of the years of different types of abuse I experienced from my family caused me to be in many exploitative situations after I moved out into a homeless shelter. I am now an athiest and I am using tarot,journaling,mediation for my healing journey.

Today I decided to go and delete all the Snapchat memories before I started my transition.There’s a lot of them.I decided to do this because that “ girl” never existed in the first place. He was forced into a hyper feminine role. No matter how uncomfortable he felt. And he spoke up and got abused by family members for it. When he wanted to present masculine he wasn’t allowed to wear what made him comfortable .He was also mocked and abused for not liking his deadname. He was bullied in school for being different than the other girls. It started in 5th grade I was picked on for not having any chest when I was completely ok with that. I was bullied by family members for not having any chest as well and not wanting to wear a bra. Once I got to middle school the bullying got worst I was bullied by this group of guys that would call me the T slur and say things like I was born differently they would call me othe slurs like “dyke” “ bulldagger” other boys would throw things at me and assault me And would make fun of my genitalia saying I was born with a penis I wish I was I could say that part was a bit affirming but everything else was just crazy. It ruined my mental health because I felt like a fucking alien. The bullying continued even in high school I was bullied at every school I went too.I never understood why when I got a bit older why didn’t my family allow me to dress masculine if they allowed it when I was a baby there’s a few pictures of me dressed in boy clothes. I also was bullied by family members for not hitting afab puberty until I was 14. Because of all of this i am in the process of deleting those memories. I became homeless at the age of 18 because my mother got mad she lost control over me and that I wasn’t preforming the women role most of my family forced me into. I just couldn’t stay there anymore I felt so uncomfortable,scared,disgusted,shameful and depressed in that house. My family members also sexualized me a lot for being trans as well. My mom has wished sa on me and what went through my head was “ wtf” . Because who wishes that on their own son knowing there son has suffered through that a lot throughout his whole life.I have blocked all of their numbers and made new Facebook account and deleted my old one . Nowadays the only family members I talk to is my siblings and my dad. My mom and grandma and aunt and plenty of other family members abused me for being autistic as well. I was beat for my meltdowns and stims. I also have religious trauma as well I was forced into Pentecost at 8 .I was forced to pray and read the Bible and i didn’t even believe in any of that stuff that time and now I still don’t. I was also forced to wear skirts and dresses. I had the gay and trans prayed out of me and being autistic prayed out of me but they wasted there time cause none of it worked.The only people in my family I’m really cool with is my father and my siblings on both sides of the family. It hurts hearing my baby cousin tell me he misses me but I have to avoid seeing him just to not be around them. Because when I was going to go see them it was always “ you don’t even come and see us anymore *deadname* I’ve been here for a while” and that right there is part of the reason because why the fuck do I have to do everything and they know why I don’t come and see them they still use my deadname and she/her pronouns for me when I look nothing like a girl and I’m 9 months on T . And also my aunt took my deadname middle name and repronounced it to a name that doesn’t even exist and that sounded ugly and had everyone calling me it and it’s always “ this is my daughter deadname” when introduced to other people they never let me talk and they do that on purpose cause they want everyone else to call me by what they want like I can talk for myself I just wish they would forget about me honestly cause they don’t even love me I wasn’t even made out of love I was not named until after I was born my deadname was named by the next door neighbor and I was told “ we asked the neighbor to name you after you were born because we could not think of a name for you” I found that strange because why did everyone else get named while they were in the belly. They also kept me away from my father a lot because he kept me safe and they didn’t want me to be safe they only wanted to hurt me he doesn’t care about me being trans and rlly accepts me for who I am I can’t really see him rn because I live in a different state but all that matters is that I’m safe now and away from them I’m 19 now and I am never going back to them ever again cause I could still remember everything they did and said to me. When I became homeless at 18 I stayed with a neighbor for a week and her boyfriend was abusive and fetishized over my trans identity knowing I had just came out he would do this behind her back I became on the streets homeless for a whole entire month and suffered from sexual harassment and domestic violence by someone who had promised me a place to stay was also forced to be on a hard core drug called m*** it had rlly fucked up my mental health more the withdrawals made me schizo and it caused me to skip school and end up in non consensual sexual situations I was highly tooken advantage of rather then kept safe after that I was at a mental hospital for a week because of it then when I got out my mom abused me and locked me into a restroom and yelled horrific things in my face and forced me to hear everything I was crying and screaming and asking her to leave but she wouldn’t she threatened to drag me across my aunts apartment I had stayed with a friend for a week then ended up back with my family for a week after this I ended up at a shelter for a year where some clients would sa and harass and be transphobic and also was in a dv relationship for 2 months there too I reported this plenty of times to and nothing was done by staff or case managers cause clearly they didn’t care about trans people which is fucked up im glad im away from all of these people now i just had to get all of this out because i was holding a lot in i no longer live at the shelter anymore and im now staying with a friend who helped me through all of this and got me out of there ive been going to counseling for 2 months and one day i will heal and fully recover from all of this ive also been using tarot cards and journaling to help guide me through my healing through all of this