u/Phoenix_Ray528

I was raised in the Assemblies Of God pretty much since my mom adopted me. The AG denomination was very strict and cult-like but I didn't see this at the time. I'm a 30 year old gay man I received a lot of messages growing up in the early 00's during the rise of Exodus International and Love Won Out to just "pray the gay away". My mom actually took me to a Pentecostal prayer center where they tried doing an exorcism. Needless to say, it didn't work and today I am an out and proud gay man married to an amazing husband who I love with all my heart. I'm not a Christian anymore. I'm an Eclectic Pagan. But I still do attend church at least once or twice a month although I attend a progressive ELCA Lutheran congregation, mainly for the community. I'm still hurting though. When I walk into church, I feel bad because I don't believe what they believe and I feel like I don't belong. Anytime I see something Christian on social media, I feel like self-harming. If I see someone wearing a cross around their neck in public it triggers me. How do I work through this sensitivity to religious stuff?

I've been struggling quite a bit with my mental health. My psychiatrist just did a med change and so far it hasn't worked. I don't see my therapist until next Thursday. I've been at the mental health urgent care center in my town every other day but they can only do so much. The only other thing I know to do is go to my Gods with it. What can I do spiritually to help with my mental health? Prayers? Rituals? Tarot spreads? I know spirituality won't fix all of it and I'm not asking for medical advice. I just want to know what I can do from the spiritual end of things?

I apologize if this is the wrong place to post this but I didn't know where else to turn. I'm trying to work through my religious trauma. I'm Egyptian-Eclectic Pagan and have been for about 4 years now but one thing I still hold onto from my childhood is church. I know plenty of Pagans that attend an occasional church service here and there. But I literally have a fear of missing it. Like if I don't go to church on Sunday something bad is going to happen. And I don't even believe in a Christian God. Does anyone know how I can move past this fear? I'm not going this Sunday as a kind of exposure therapy but I'm severely anxious!

I've been struggling with my CPAP machine, especially the full face mask. I'm so hyper aware of the mask on my face and it feels so claustrophobic that I can't wear it comfortably. The CPAP supplier said I need to wear it for 4 hours a night every single night for 10 months, no excuses in order for my Illinois Medicaid insurance to pay for it. Right now I'm just "renting" it. But if I'm non-compliant they're going to charge me and I can't afford to pay for it. So far I haven't been able to be compliant. Even when I wear it for more than 4 hours it'll say that I only wore it for one hour. What am I doing wrong? Any advice? I have an appointment tomorrow to discuss more options.

I just wanna know that I'm not alone...

Any books, podcasts, or blogs y'all would recommend on Religious Trauma Syndrome? Looking to learn from other people who have been through this and maybe, hopefully feel less alone...

When I was a Christian I was really fascinated by Angels and Spirit Beings. Touched By An Angel is still one of my all time favorite shows! Just wondering, does Kemetism have similar Beings?

I was raised in Pentecostal Christianity in a very cult-like tradition. Through a crazy turn of events I landed in Egyptian Paganism. I'm still trying to figure things out but I want to fully devote myself to this path and claim it as my own. I'm leaning more toward Tameran Wicca but very interested in Kemetic Paganism. I already know that either way, Egyptian Paganism is where I belong as I've had at least 3 of the Egyptian Gods appear to me in dreams. What do I do next? How do I find my path?

Which of the Netjeru can I work with to overcome my addiction to pornography? I was thinking Anubis (he's my patron), Sekhmet, or Horus but I'm open to ideas.

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My husband looks at it too but it's getting in the way of my wanting to be intimate with him because I would rather look at videos and pictures online. I want to approach this as a spiritual issue because my relationship is spiritual.

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I made a promise to the Gods to love, honor, and cherish him all the days of my life and I feel like I'm cheating. I want to attend Sex And Love Addicts Anonymous again but I haven't been to a meeting since I was single and I feel like that might offend him.

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We've been married for almost a year! What should I do? Are there any Kemetic Pagan teachings on this? Anything in the 42 Negative Confessions? Please help!

I was raised in what was basically a religious cult. I identify as Egyptian Pagan now but still holding onto bits and pieces of Christianity and I still go to church. More out of habit than anything and it's familiar. It's a progressive, queer affirming church (Lutheran, ELCA) so no issues there. But for some reason, I still sometimes worry, "What if I'm not truly welcome?" Before communion the pastor even says, "It doesn't matter whether you're baptized, or a member of the church, or a Lutheran, or a Christian, or even if you don't know what you are. All are welcome in all parts of worship with us!" So why don't I see my Pagan self on that list? I go to church more for community rather than the spiritual aspect but even with Paganism I always feel like I'm "doing spirituality wrong". I know what this is. It's my religious trauma. But I can't move past it. I can't shake the feeling that I'm permanently damaged by this evil cult I was raised in. What do I do with this?

I read online that Kemetism allows you to be a part of more than one religion. I feel called to Kemetism but I was raised Christian and I feel led to be a part of that too. I still attend church even as a Kemetic and I personally feel like if there's some way that I can be both that I should be both. Does anyone else have an opinion on this?

I did a sleep study at home and it showed that I might have sleep apnea but it was pretty much inconclusive and didn't show the results the doctor was looking for. I also didn't get much sleep that night with all the stuff hooked up to me. I'm going into the hospital tonight for another sleep study that they said should be more accurate. Is there anything I need to know before going in? What can I do to get a better night's sleep? Are they able to give me anything? I'm taking my regular sleep medication which is mirtazapine (15 mg).

My relationship with my adopted family is horrible... especially my adopted brother who is my adopted mom's biological son. My relationship with my adopted mom was difficult but got better in the last year of her life.

I have no adopted father and my adopted mom passed away a couple years ago from cancer.

Now that she's gone, my relationship with my adopted brother is non-existent. He acts like I don't exist. When I brought that up to my cousin that the only time he ever contacted me was for me to sign paperwork for the lawyers to get our inheritance (that he tried to steal, by the way) she said "He has the right to set that boundary." Like I was toxic or something.

Mind you, the only reason he doesn't talk to me was because I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and he thinks I'm too dangerous to be around his kids. He's also very jealous of me for being the adopted kid and thinks that I was treated better when I was growing up versus when he was growing up. My adopted brother is 17 years older than me.

Also, both my adopted great uncle and adopted uncle passed away a couple years ago now and nobody from my adopted family told me. So, with that being said and the fact that they haven't reached out to me since my mom passed away tells me that they want nothing to do with me.

How do I work through the pain of being rejected by my family? I'm in reunion with my birth family but they don't quite feel like family yet. I'm still getting to know them. I'm also married. It helps but feels like a small family. I'm not sure where to go from here. Thoughts?

I'm feeling more comfortable identifying as an ex-Christian. I follow a more Pagan path now but I'm still afraid of hell. I think to myself, what if I'm wrong and I am going to hell. What if at the end of my life I find out that I was wrong to reject Christianity and I burn in hell for all eternity and then it's too late. I recognize this as religious trauma but I don't know what to do about it. Logically I know that hell doesn't even exist but the conditioning I grew up with has really fucked with my head! How do I work through my religious trauma and lose my fear of hell?

I'm honestly just curious. I don't know too many Wiccans who work with the Egyptian Gods.

I had a vision awhile back. Or maybe it was a dream. I was laying in bed, reading a book about Christo-Paganism, trying to decide if I was meant for this path. I fell asleep or maybe I was half awake. I'm not really sure. But I was in a different state of mind.

All of a sudden this white light came beaming down from my bedroom ceiling and this energy came rushing into me. It felt like a cool wind and I know the Hebrew word for Spirit is wind or breath. I heard a voice. It was like I heard the voice in my head like it was thinking it but it wasn't my thought. My mom always told me that's how the Holy Spirit (Mother Sophia) speaks.

The voice said something like, "Christianity is what you were raised with. It's what you know best. But you've also found these parts of Paganism that speak to you and mean something to you. If you can find a way for these two sides of yourself to co-exist, you can find peace within yourself and teach others to do the same." Then I woke up.

It seems like since then though, I've usually tended to focus more on the Egyptian Deities that have revealed themselves to me and the Pagan side of things but not so much the Christian side.

I identify more as a Pagan that lives by Christian principles rather than Christo-Pagan in the traditional sense. But I feel like I should be giving the Christian Deities like YHWH and Sophia the attention they deserve.

Am I doing my spirituality wrong?