Am i the Asshole Here?(Long para warning)
So I 18M have a lil sis who's 16 and my mom is 42 and she uses R word very much often for my lil sissy and tell her many things when she don't wake up early or didn't did something she was told to like take a bath early or stuff like that. My mom knows what that R word means and still use it lightly and my mom's a hypocrite a big one. I often tell my mom to not say the R word and defends my sis whenever someone says anything bad Abt her but my mom is like she'll get it one day and still do it the next day forgetting the past like i didn't gave her a lesson or that convo never happened.
And my mom treats me and my sis differently which bothers her and she calls out my mom for it but she doesn't says anything to me
(What bothers my sis is when mom tells her to wash the dishes of mine too after i eat like just her and mine which only happens sometimes like 1-2 times a month and she says why should I do it which is ok she's right the one who eats should wash their own dishes). But I believe she don't do that cause she thinks of this logic but it's actually cause she saw this on insta and she just don't wanna work as she wakes up and scroll for 30min and talks in gc on insta.
And talking Abt my lil sis I love to annoy her but I do it on a very low scale and she says somethings which r really heartbreaking and it strikes me in the heart. Even when I don't annoy her she treats me like shit. Like if I go and ask what r u doing (she watches reels whole time or indulged in gc on insta or reads wattpad) and I just ask like what's she watching not like in a parents way of always asking Abt the future plans she gives me answer like "none of ur buisness" or "Go do your work" (in hindi).
I feel like she doesn't value me and I have always tried to be the cool brother never put any sort of restrictions onto her, when my mom tried to I told her to let her do what she wants, defended her from both my mom and dad(not dad mostly cause she can handle him and gives some sassy replies to him but I do that with mom). Even when she scored 70% in 10th this year I defended her from my parents as for me she did great and didnt let her morale/confidence down
Sometimes tried to interfere in her social life by logging into her instagram(I was 14-15 at that time) but later on when I grew up I let her live how she wants and caught her talking to the boys who lives just infront of us and some of our school they are not some great ppl, as a man I know what they thinks Abt my sis but she thinks she knows what's she is doing.
In 2024 when we both were in kota she made a grp of friends there and they all equally hate a guy and they called him chakka behind his back obviously and one day he heard it and he confronted her in response she even said sorry to him and apologized but he followed her van and came to our home with 2 boys (all of same batch) to our home and talked to my mom later on i found his insta and talked to him and made him realise his mistake. As in an unknown city i cant just go fight with him as everyone parents told them to stay away from these sort of things but I still got some friends convinced and so did he who were all droppers and i was in 11th so I went with the intellect and didn't fight him and tried to solve it like an adult.I solved the issue and made that kid realised his mistake and made sure he never bothers her again. (I don't blame her for this whole incident even I was angry when those 3 9th class boys popped up at my home in there and i was present observing everything and let my mom handle things)
When she needs help in something she comes up with a very sweet tone of asking but when I do it and later tells her(just to annoy her ) she says "who told u to do it" (in hindi)
There r reason why they both don't value me as I'm and ambivert and I don't like to hangout with my family cause I just don't like it but out of my town I'm the most extrovert mf alive but since they don't see that side of me they thinks I'm a looser and I don't go to the nearby store to buy somethings until I'm pressured. Just cause of this my mom thinks I'm worthless cause I don't go anywhere (I don't have that many friends) and I don't do the shopping stuff.
I always used to let all of this slide as she's a teen and changes happen and i understand it but I had to ask u all now. Now Ive just stopped taking to my sissy for some time like 5 days and ofc she doesn't gaf Abt as she's my sis that doesn't mean she got the authority to always treats me like shit and don't give a fu*k Abt my feelings.
Atp my mom blames me for not qualifying Jee and my sis blames me cause she thinks since I went to kota dad pressurized her and she was forced to allen where she enjoyed her time and was happy and used to laugh all day but she still thinks I'm the reason her school life got wasted.
But lemme know what u all think
Edit : For the content: In the van there was many friends of her and some guys too it was a co-ed van and one of his friends told him that she lives here and then after sometime they came with 2 of his friends of the same batch and talked with my mom.
And by saying "Intellectually" I meant non-violence as I talked with that guy, reported to the teacher and filed an complaint with the respective authorities. I don't see my sis as my enemy here I just wanted to know people views on this as what should I do to counter it in a way it don't hurt me.