r/AskIndianWomen

I saw a post recently by a female instagram influencer, she has over 100k followers, and she was narrating the story of her friend who recently got married. This woman was in a good IT job but was desperately waiting to get married so that she can be free of the stressful load of job. Well she got married and currently living a dream alike lifestyle.

The crux this influencer was trying to assert was that many woman actually want to leave their job and be a stay at home wife but the fear mongering by our mothers (due to their obsession with having money in hand) and conditioning has led us to believe that marriage is destined to be a horror story and job is our cushion, hence we're dragging something we don't wish to out of compulsion.

Is it true that stay at home life is actually so beautiful and happy? I'm seeing my own sister post her love marriage she willingly resign right after engagement and now 4 years and counting, she's the healthiest and happiest married woman I've seen. Same with my school classmates who got married right into their graduation, all of them are glowing while career women all around me including myself, are exhausted, doubtful, tired and just fed up.

Ever since the flight crash case,
"Firstly appreciating and acknowledging the bravery of the hero, and hoping for a speedy recovery"

Coming back, so I have seen numerous videos on all platforms justifying Islamophobia because of such terrorist cases, (I am not gonna agree/disagree since this post is not about religion) why is fear of men still ridiculed?

Men/society have done so much damage to women, for centuries now. From social humiliation, straight up murders and rapes to financial control and yet, we women are paranoid and it is not all men but its all Muslims.

PS: I am not a Muslim, and I did not want to hurt anyone's religious sentiments, if I did, I'd like to apologise.

My dad who is 58 now has been single for the last 8 years since my mom passed away.

I don't think he has been with anyone else since then but he does get some attention because he's very fit and active.

There is one (late 40's) in particular in our apartment society who is feel has been showing some interest in him.

I'm myself 37 married and settled and am completely okay with this and kind of want to tell my dad to see where it goes. How do i approach the topic with him?

Hi everyone, My partner and I just found out she is pregnant (sex was on Aug 1; She did not bother to check if she is pregnant for 2 months because PCOS/PCOD). We decided on an abortion. At ~9 - 10 weeks, Is it safe?

She works in Delhi; I am an outstation student broke and mid-placement season. I am traveling to Delhi to be with her for the procedure.

Need quick help on:

1. Affordable, non-judgmental clinics/OB-GYNs in Delhi: Safe spots (like FPAI or verified private clinics) that won't moral-police or ask about marriage.
2. Expected costs: Realistic total range for consultation, ultrasound, vacuum aspiration, and meds.
3. Recovery tips: What essentials (pads, pain relief, food) should I stock up on to care for her during the first 48 hours post-procedure?

Any trusted leads or advice would mean a lot. Thank you.

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I never thought I’d say this because I’m honestly not a baby person. I don’t hate kids or anything, but I’ve never been the type to see a baby and immediately want to hold them or have one myself.

My sister-in-law has two daughters. The older one can be quite annoying, so we’ll leave her out of this.

But the younger one is 2 now, and she was only one month old when I got married. So I’ve basically watched her grow up from a tiny little baby. Whenever we’d meet, I’d hold her, play with her for a while, make her laugh, etc. I always enjoyed it, but it was never like “OMG I need a baby of my own.”

But now she’s 2 and she has started TALKING.

And oh my God.

She calls me “Mami” in that tiny little baby voice and I genuinely cannot get it out of my head. She says the most random things, but the way she says them is just SO cute.

Sometimes when my husband is with them, she literally tells her mom or him, “Mujhe Mami se baat karni hai.” And then she comes on the phone and starts talking to me in her little voice.

Yesterday she said, "mami apke pass aana hai" in that cutesy voice.

Today I spent basically the entire day watching her dance over video call. And somehow I was NOT bored.

And now I have this sudden, very strong feeling of:

“I WANT A BABY.”

I’m wondering if this is actual baby fever or if I’m just completely obsessed with this particular child because I’ve watched her grow up and now she recognizes me, talks to me, asks for me, and has this little personality.

Just came across a post on insta n thought I'd ask for a larger audience's opinion on it. Has anyone seen or felt this kind of a difference in treatment in indian society , college and friend circles specifically these days?? Does the pretty friend get approached or matter more even in random day to day conversations etc?

I for one do not consider myself pretty. Haven't ever been complimented too n haven't had anyone approach me plus my my social circle n anxiety are not exactly of any help. I am working on my fitness journey but this q kind of bugs me a lot . Any opinions ? Life instances? Do share .

The thought that, tomorrow is Monday 😔

Long before we signed NDAs and Jaggi Vasudev was rich and famous, I took part in a highly secretive "spiritual process". I assumed this was a sort of tantric initiation and at the time felt somehow special. Many other women went through this and are still in the organization, some have left and stay silent. We never talked about it with each other - to this day.

It was only years later when I heard of the women getting groomed for left hand tantric practices and/or sexual abuse did I realize that what I took part in was a grooming ritual, without any consent and explaination.

Read the full post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/SadhguruTruth/comments/1w74gmw/he_made_me_get_half_naked_for_an_initation/

I’m a woman in my 20s living in the US and I recently started working at a new company. There’s this guy at work who keeps trying to flirt with me and hit on me, and it’s starting to get a little uncomfortable.

I’ve mentioned multiple times around him that I already have a boyfriend, partly hoping he’d take the hint, but apparently that hasn’t changed anything 🤦‍♀️ He still keeps trying.

PS: I’m also pretty soft-spoken and generally not someone who’s very confrontational, especially at work.

Since I’m relatively new here and this is my first job, I really don’t want to immediately involve management or create awkwardness/bad blood with someone I have to see at work every day. At the same time, I don’t want him thinking I’m okay with it just because I haven’t confronted him directly.

Women who’ve dealt with something similar at work, how did you handle it without turning the whole thing into workplace drama?

I’m a guy and even I am getting irritated to the core with this whole analogy. A woman jokes with a man? "Reverse the genders." A woman flirts? "Reverse the genders." Out of thousands of assault cases against women every day, if one incident goes viral of a woman slapping a guy, the entire comment section is suddenly screaming about reversing the genders. It frustrates me because I often feel like the same guys weaponizing this phrase online to shut down women wouldn't even have the guts to intervene if they saw a woman being harassed in real life. It seems like they use it as a tool to derail conversations. How do you all deal with the exhaustion of seeing this everywhere? Do you still try to explain the context and power dynamics to these guys, or have you just started completely ignoring it?

My husband and I have been living in the UK. We have a young child who was born prematurely following a very difficult pregnancy and spent months in the NICU after an emergency C-section. Our child subsequently had recurrent illnesses and hospital admissions during the first period of life.

I eventually left my job a few months ago so that I could look after our child full-time. Our child is now doing well at home.

I have been under significant emotional and mental stress because of repeated conflict within my marriage, particularly relating to my husband's behaviour, his expectations of me, his mother’s involvement in our marriage and parenting, and repeated threats of divorce.

My decision to stop communicating with my mother-in-law did not happen because of one isolated incident or because I simply dislike her. It developed over a long period as a result of repeated experiences in which I felt that my personal boundaries, choices, parenting decisions and autonomy were not respected.

There were also occasions when I felt that my clothing choices were being monitored and judged. She treated me as an untouchable during my periods, I was not allowed to sit on the cushioned furniture, enter the kitchen or dining area, or touch household items. I found this extremely stressful and humiliating, but I still followed everything she said to avoid conflict. She also told me how I should address my own husband and said that calling him by his name was disrespectful. I felt that even such a personal matter was being treated as something she had the authority to dictate.

There have also been instances of what I feel is a double standard. For example, I gifted my MIL a silk saree, but she rejected it because she disliked the colour and said that colour could attract the evil eye. I respected her wishes and took it back. On the other hand, when she gifted me a saree that I genuinely disliked because of the colour and material, I still accepted it respectfully, but she questioned me why I wasn’t wearing it on an occasion and insisted that I should. I feel that her preferences are expected to be respected, while mine are often not given the same consideration.

These incidents accumulated over time. Individually, some may appear small, but together they created a persistent feeling that my choices were being observed, judged and overridden.

After our child was born the situation became considerably more stressful when my mother-in-law stayed with us in the UK for approximately 5 months during postpartum. This was an extremely vulnerable period for me. However, I felt that my mother-in-law repeatedly interfered with my parenting decisions. She frequently found fault with how I was doing things and made comments that I experienced as critical or passive-aggressive. I felt that she behaved as though she had greater rights over my baby than I did as the child's mother.

I was not objecting to her having a relationship with her grandchild. I was objecting to repeated interference in decisions that I believed should primarily be made by the child's parents, particularly where those decisions concerned the baby's health, safety and daily care.

The cumulative effect was significant emotional stress. I have found it difficult to let go of the experience and have felt emotionally low and overwhelmed by it.

My own mother also visited us in the UK for approximately two weeks. During that period, my husband did not show the same warmth towards my mother. He sometimes would shout at me in front of her over relatively minor matters. This made my mother uncomfortable, and she did not want to remain in our home for longer.

My husband has now become very angry because I do not call his mother. He says that I should either start calling his mother or ask my own mother and sister-in-law to live separately. I do not understand this comparison. My mother, brother and sister-in-law live together happily. There is no equivalent ongoing conflict or history of boundary violations between them and me.

My husband appears to be treating my refusal to maintain contact with his mother as though I am deliberately disrespecting his family, whereas from my perspective I am trying to protect myself from a relationship that has repeatedly caused me emotional distress.

Another major concern is how my husband behaves during arguments. My husband can become aggressive, intimidating and extremely angry during disagreements. There have also been occasions when he has broken things in the home. He has also strongly pressured me to have a second child despite me being very clear that I do not want another pregnancy. I had a very traumatic pregnancy and premature birth with our first child, and I do not feel emotionally or physically ready to go through that again. Despite this, he says he wants another baby “at any cost” and has used divorce and other threats like taking our child away from me during these discussions. I feel that my decision about whether to have another child is not being respected, and this has made me afraid to make decisions concerning my own body and reproductive choices.

I’m not afraid of divorce itself. If the marriage ends, I can accept that. My main concern right now is that I am currently not working and we are still living together, so I want to avoid unnecessary conflict or escalation until I am in a more secure position.

Whenever women talk about safety, harassment or bad experiences, the first reply is always “not all men”.

But when the topic is something negative about women, nobody feels the need to say “not all women”.

Curious what Indian women think about this double standard.

Saw somebody do this so i thought of asking too, please help me out with this my elder sisters 🥹

Advice about anythinggg and everythinggg will be appreciated, thank youuu ❤️

Does this happen to anyone else?

I don't know why, but whenever I start talking to a guy and begin liking him even a little, I suddenly become scared to express my opinions. I start thinking, "What if he judges me? What if he thinks I'm too feminist?"

Recently, I was talking to a guy and mentioned that I'm childfree, and he literally started laughing 😭. Since then, I've become even more hesitant to talk deeply about my thoughts and beliefs with men. Sometimes I feel like conversations can so easily turn into a "men vs. women" debate.

I know not all men are like this, but sometimes it feels like some guys have very little empathy toward women's perspectives.

The confusing part is that I've started liking this particular guy because he's been helping me. So now I'm wondering: should I hide some of my feminist opinions or beliefs so I don't get judged and can continue benefiting from his help?

I know it probably sounds wrong to hide such an important part of myself, but I'm genuinely conflicted.

How do you deal with this when you start liking someone? Do you openly share your beliefs, or do you keep certain opinions to yourself until you know the person better?

Hey!

I know you all probably have seen many posts like these but please bear with me.

I took I pill on 21st September (so about 2 weeks ago), and at that time I didn't feel any type of discomfort. Not even cramps.

My periods were supposed to start on 1st October and I have been experiencing cramps and pain in my back ( usual period symptoms) for one week. Still ko signs of periods. Is this because of the pill?

Also I didn't get my periods last month too. But I took 4 pregnancy tests and all were negative. So I am not pregnant.

Just wanted to ask if the cramps and all are common after taking I pill. Particularly after 2 weeks.

So I am planning to keep some money aside for my niece.

I lost my parents 5-6 years back and my father had loans and borrowed money etc, so relatives didn't help me, a cousin sister of mine and her husband helped me out.

They even are even saying they will give money for my marriage they don't need it back, they say they loved my parents and me, it is out of love they don't ever need this money back.

So I was thinking I should save some money for their daughter's future. Why because they both are in their 40's and the daughter is 2 years old, when she will be 20-25 they would be in their 60's so I don't think negative but I want to be prepared.

So I thought I should repay the kindness in the future, when they need it. Now the money i would save in the next 18-20 years would be a good amount.

It can even be utilised to help them with their health at that stage or my niece's education or if she wants to do some business etc.

But I am not able to understand how I should approach this should Money be given to her parents or should it be saved at the name of the niece? What would you have preferred if you knew your uncle had saved a financial emergency cushion and at what stage of your life, would you need it the most?

Something inspiring, comforting, and motivating, so that any girl who is struggling can come back here, read these comments, and find a little strength, support, and confidence to keep going.

I am so tired of hearing this shit. Every time someone talks about harassment or predatory behavior, some dude has to crawl out of the woodwork with "not all men" like that solves anything. Like it makes the problem go away.

But here is the thing I realized. It is not just women. It is not just girls. Nobody is safe. Not even other men are safe from men.

My brother was twelve then. Twelve years old. before men start talking about weird experiments where men pretend and dress as women to experience the harassment, NO He does not dress feminine, he does not crossdress, he does not pretend to be a woman anywhere. He was just a normal kid wearing normal clothes. We were at this local market and some baba in his forties starts following us around. This guy starts talking to my brother about how silky his legs look. How soft his hands are. Then he pulls out candy and tries to get my brother to come with him to his "shop nearby" to see some "special toys."

I had to physically grab my brother by the arm and drag him away while this creep kept calling after us. And my brother? This dumbass kid was actually trying to take the candy. He did not understand. He thought the guy was just being nice. I had to explain to him later why a forty year old man should not be commenting on a twelve year old boy's legs. He did not get it. He thought I was overreacting.

Then there is my boyfriend. He is from the Northeast, he has that East Asian pale look, you know what I mean. We were in Connaught Place in Delhi, just trying to get an auto to the metro. This auto driver starts staring at him in the rearview mirror. Then he starts asking personal questions. Where are you from, are you Chinese, since when you two been together, and then after sometime out of nowhere do you like men. My boyfriend tries to shut it down but the guy keeps pushing.

Then at a red light, this driver turns around full body and reaches back to touch my boyfriend's thigh. Just puts his hand there and squeezes. Says something about how "smooth" he looks and how "soft" some boys are. My boyfriend had to physically shove his hand off and we had to jump out of the moving auto at the next light because the guy was trying to take us somewhere else. He was not even subtle about it. Broad daylight. Connaught Place. Middle of the city.

So when I hear "not all men," I want to ask!! who is left then? Who is safe? Little boys are not safe. Grown men are not safe. Women are obviously not safe. Girls are not safe. Even lizards dogs cows buffalo chicken are not safe. even trees are not safe, yes there are men who assault tree trunks

If it is "not all men," why does it feel like it is every man when you are in these situations? Why does every man feel like a potential threat until proven otherwise?

I am just so tired. I want to be able to walk around without calculating escape routes. I want my brother to be able to exist as a child without grown men sexualizing his legs. I want my boyfriend to be able to take a fucking auto without getting groped.

But sure. Not all men. Just enough of them to make everyone scared.

Saw a reel where a man goes out dressed up as a woman to showcase how unsafe Delhi has become. Done with good intentions obviously, saw the comments and people are suddenly willing to accept that fact when it’s portrayed through a man’s lens but somehow it doesn’t register in anyone’s ears when women have been shouting about this for so long.

I have nothing against the influencer but it slightly irked me because 1. It’s a known fact that men would harass anything with a pulse. 2. Conducting this experiment like there’s not enough data and evidence to support women’s claim. There was a sexual assault reported virtually every day in the capital in the month of September. Not to mention the ones that go unreported.

Then I looked up a little and there’s a feminist theory about the credibility gap. Curious to know if this is overthinking and taking it where one shouldn’t.