Why is PiV considered to be the only form of sex considered as "real"?
I (F22) recently had PiV sex for the first time. I had some reservations about it because I'm not dating the guy and we haven't been talking very long but ultimately decided to go through with it because horny.
However I do not necessarily consider this as losing my virginity? I've done other things before this with my previous guy, and I've slept with a girl. Like, you wouldn't tell lesbians or queer women basically that their sexual relationships aren't real just cuz there's no dick involved, then shouldn't the same be applied to heterosexual fooling around?
Idk this has been bothering me a bit cuz a couple of my friends are disapproving of the fact that I just went and "lost my virginity" to essentially a random guy (and in retrospect it probably wasn't the best idea either, but if I tell them that now, they will think it's because of the penetrative sex that I am sad, not because I realized that casual intimacy is something I can't handle 🫠)
Honestly, the degree of intimacy I felt isn't very different from what it felt like when I was doing stuff with my ex. If anything, I felt more detached this time around even though we were having PiV sex. Idk what to make of this. Especially cuz a lot of people aren't going to agree with me either so I can't talk much about it irl. Idek what my body count is or which criteria I should go by. Lol.
And somewhere I think this rhetoric of only PiV being real sex is getting to me too because for the past couple of days I've been wondering is I squandered what should've been a special moment? But the thing is I didn't think like that before. So now I'm wondering if there was some truth to what ppl say or if I'm just in emotional turmoil over something else.