u/Novel_Business_4101

For me, it was after we had a huge fight/disagreement about something. We argued a little in person, then it kinda continued over WhatsApp after we got home. A few hours later, we were sending each other reels and reacting to them like nothing had happened

Yes, it’s a small and weird moment & a lot of you will probably be like whatt?? how?? 😂

But before this relationship, in all my previous ones, fights would escalate so badly even over really small things. I’d get triggered & sometimes I wouldn’t even want to see the person’s face afterward.

This time was different. Turns out, we didn’t actually hate each other after all (honestly, maybe we did in my previous relationships... lol)

I didn’t think much of it at the time, sending each other reels and reacting to them just felt normal. But later, I realised that maybe this was it for me we loved each other enough that one disagreement didn’t suddenly make us stop liking each other.

Tell me yours! I’d love to hear those moments ❤️

It's easier said than done. Being the dumbest in the room or the least accomplished isn't the greatest for your self esteem, even for people very confident in themselves, because if you don't ahve confidence issues, you will have jealousy, which is bad in either ways.

I think people who say, I like surrounding myself with people more intelligent than me to be an utter crap and an optimistic idea & not the reality of those people

Is there anyspecific journaling prompts, brain dumps, Reflection, wirting that you do, lists that you make, categorizations that you do that brings you back to Confidence.

Please read and give your opinions. Because I genuinely want things to change ❤️

On one hand, women are running entire economies through their consumption.
We’re buying fast fashion, beauty products, skincare, haircare, makeup, perfumes, wellness products, etc etc etc. And on the other hand, we’re the same women who are still not given a fair chance in so many areas of life. We live in a country where women are still dealing with rape, dowry deaths, harassment, discrimination &so much more. Yet somehow, we are perfectly capable of keeping entire industries running.

And I keep thinking about this because there are SO many times when I buy something and think, “Yes, I deserve this. I’ll buy it.” And then five minutes later I’m like, “NOOO. Why am I buying into this?”

Like, do I really need a normal gua sha, a steel gua sha AND an ice gua sha? 😭 Women 10 years ago were surviving perfectly fine without all three.

Then someone will say “But it’s self-care. It’s self-pampering. It makes you feel good and confident”

Does it actually???

Because whenever a reel or video comes up about “how to be more confident” the first few things are always: invest in a good expensive perfume, get a good haircut, buy these clothes, use this skincare, buy this makeup, etc. And then we proceed to list 15 products that apparently will transform your confidence.

Personally, what actually makes me feel confident is speaking up when I normally wouldn't, going for opportunities I thought I could never get, doing something that scared me and then realising I could actually do it. THAT makes me feel confident. Not owning a ₹5,000 perfume.

Confusing sh*t is: We keep saying, “You don't have to wax your body hair. If you don't want to, don't” And technically, yesss, we have that choice. But then we all know 98% of women (estimate from my cirlce of women friends) do shave their whole body, and sooo many have gotten laser. For what??

And please don't tell me it's about hygiene. Pubic hair is a different conversation, but what exactly is unhygienic about the tiny hairs on your arms and legs? Why have we convinced ourselves that removing them is somehow necessary?

Why are we constantly buying into this propaganda?

Name almost any men's grooming product 🪒🪒and most men will know what it is and what it's for. But name some random product specifically marketed toward women and I genuinely think half of us wouldn't even know it existed.

And what does that say?

There are SO many products we don't even know we need until one day we see them online. Suddenly, we need it. And not just need it we apparently cannot live without it. It becomes a “game changer,” “life changing,” “holy grail,” whatever.....

And more often than not, it's women themselves looking down on other women for not knowing about some random product that they use.

Take Stanley tumblers, for eg. People (women) will genuinely say, “I drink more water because of this!”

Girl, if you need a 9000 rs tumbler to remember to drink water, I fear you've fallen WAYYYY too deep into the consumerism hole 😭

I'm not saying women shouldn't buy things they enjoy. Buy the perfume. Buy the makeup. Get the haircut. Buy the cute tumbler if it genuinely makes you happy. (but again this "buy it if you genuinely happy" is also a nuanced concept, because there are zillion things that make me happy, scrolling reels, not going to work, eating, hanging out with my friends, sleeping makes me happy, So I won't be talking about this thing rn, IT'S COMPLICATED)

Also honestly, do you really think a species that is generally so unconcerned with grooming their own belongings and appearance would have cared this much about whether women had body hair? I genuinely think men care about it partly because we've made being hairless the norm. When most women remove their body hair, the woman who doesn't suddenly becomes the “odd one out” and then women themselves are often the first to point it out and judge her for it. Beauty standards aren't just imposed on women by men-----WE also reinforce them among ourselves. We've made life unnecessarily difficult for ourselves.

But at what point do we stop and ask ourselves: Do I actually want this, or have I just been taught that I should want this?

Because those two things feel VERY different to me

Please read the story for context::::

[also side note: this isn't a relationship/ dating post, the story is only given for context, the actual question is more than that and isn't related to it]

Context: This guy has liked me for over 4 years. We were in the same college, but we never actually talked. He’s extremely shy and confessed through a handwritten letter he secretly left in my bag. I told him I didn’t know him and had no feelings for him, but I was open to getting to know him if he actually wanted to talk.

He never did.

Over the years, he gave me a couple of gifts/notes but never gave it in person, just kept it in my bag or through someone.

On my birthday I found one when I opened my bag and texted him back saying I can't take it, but he said he wanted to give this to me for a long time and I should take it, I refused again but he was very persistent (through text) and I had no option.

He gave another gift on our last day of college(very heartfelt) with a note, saying some stories are meant to remain unfinished. His friends tried pushing him to talk to me, and a mutual friend kept hinting that he still liked me. But even after 4 years, he has never actually approached me in person. He has only texted me a handful of times, mostly around the gifts and birthdays. (which I initiated either telling him I can't take this (when it came to gifts) and replies (when he gave letters).

Now we're out of college and working in different places. He still likes me, and earlier this year, on my birthday, he wished me exactly at 00:00 & he has wished me at this exact time for the past 4 years

His birthday is coming up, so now I'm wondering: should I wish him?

I don't have feelings for him and genuinely don't want to give him false hope.

I used to wish him after seeing mutual friends' birthday stories, but now that we're not in college and don't really interact, I'm wondering if even a simple birthday wish could be interpreted as a hint especially because he still likes me and is clearly very intentional about wishing me at midnight.

But he wishes me every year at 00:00 (this year too), me not wishing at all even after seeing our mutuals stories of wishing him, isn't that rude?? (cuz he is a nice, considerate guy)

I thought we were over with all that, but I guess not.

Somebody told me, you have dark lips, do you smoke a lot?? I said no and they said again "Your lips are dark". And??? Like what do you want me to reply to that
You are just stating out the obvious in my body. What do I reply to your question, or rather what do YOU expect me to say, let's go with that and I will say exactly what you want to hear

Or the same person said "You have a lot of moles on your face". And I love my moles so I said, "yeah I do have a few, I counted and its x in number". And they said "It's more than what normal people have". So???

It's soo funny to me lol

What’s a book whose words really stayed with you, something that made you think differently, opened your mind to a perspective you’d never considered or just gave you the right words when you needed them?

A book you find yourself going back to whenever you need that little reminder or a shift in perspective.

Would love to hear your suggestions!

Sometimes there’s a particular cousin everyone in the family talks about like they’re amazing, or someone I’ve only seen through social media and their posts. Before I’ve even met them, I’ve already created this whole persona of them in my head how they are, how they talk, what they’re like, etc. Then when I finally meet them in real life, especially if everything I’ve heard or seen is about how successful or great they are, I feel intimidated.

I put them on a pedestal, somehow convince myself I’m lesser than them, and then end up not being myself around them at all. How do I stop doing this?

Same as the title.

If you have seen him perform, you know what kind of a no bullsh*t player he is, who isn't there to prove a point but rather to enjoy and win during it, but sources say he was injured mid season and had to return back to India.

There are so many reality shows that run purely because of the contestants, where the hosts contribute little to nothing. But the fact that I would genuinely stop watching this show if anyone other than Rohit Shetty hosted it says a lot.

Even some of the most loved host on namely the most loved reality show (Bigg Boss) doesn’t bring the same level of energy and enthusiasm anymore that he once did in earlier seasons
Rohit Shetty LOVES what he does and it shows in every episode
Just a small appreciation post for him

Comfort is definitely the priority, but I also want something that looks a little fancy too, you know? I started looking around and suddenly discovered there are like 50 different types of underwear and now I'm completely lost

If you've personally worn something that's genuinely comfortable but still makes you feel cute & fancy, I'd love recommendations. I want to look good when my guy sees me and also want to feel comfortable and confident in it myself.
I've basically worn the same type of underwear for years, so I have absolutely no idea where to start.

In my college and now in my first job (it's a startup, and the average age is very young, everyone is under 40 except the coo, ceoand some VPs), everyone I talk to even a guy I kinda had a crush on after just 30 minutes, I realize how their minds work like they're still 17. They never miss a chance to make a double-meaning joke.

And I'm honestly fine with it. You're making a joke about sex, laughing whenever you see 6-9, all of that is alright in "moderation". But if literally everything has to be turned into that..... seriously?

They're my friends because whatever, but I could never date these guys. I thought it was just a college thing since people are still young, but I guess not really. Like, what happened to keeping some thoughts to yourself? I can make those crass jokes too, believe me, but do I say them? Nooo

I even told them, "Wow, are you guys like 17?" One guy replied, "What, was your college an All Girls college or what? Never talked to guys?"
What do you mean? That all guys make these jokes? Not really. I've found (very rarely, alright 😭) like two guys in my college who were genuinely funny without having to make sex related jokes all the time.

Where are the guys who are charismatic, talk with intention, know where and what to say and are genuinely funny without constantly using gaalis or sex jokes? What happened to those guys? I genuinely think I'll never find someone like that.

Especially now that "dark comedy" is such a thing and whenever someone makes a crappy joke, people go, "Bruhh, didn't even hesitate" or "Hesitation hesitates from this guy" or "Bhaiii that was such a dark joke" ...Noo, it wasn't. It was just a weird, inappropriate thing to say and these guys act like "Woahh, so deep bhai, so dark." Honestly, it's not even funny.

I'm just frustrated being surrounded by these kinds of guys all the time. What happened to the guys who don't rely on these so-called dark jokes? What happened to genuinely funny, chalant guys?

Alright, this is just my frustration speaking 😭
Are you all seeing more of these guys now too?

But if y'all have found a nice guy like that, please comment and give me some hope that they actually exist, because honestly, I can't even find one around me who's like that

Got this message about trying Instagram Plus for free and one of the features they highlighted was seeing how many times someone has watched your story. Out of all the features, this was the only thing they mentioned (which is kinda weird, considering plus supposedly has more features).

To see how many times someone has watched my story? Yeah suree Instagram

Instagram’s features are getting weirder day by day.

But honestly, I’m pretty sure we’ll all end up using it anyway. Same thing happened with Instagram Notes/Instants I was like, “what the hell is this?” and then I ended up using it a couple of times for absolutely no reason… but I still did.

Not to mention those weird AI answers you get when you search for someone. Like yeah, sure, Google 😭. What do you think, Instagram? I’d rather search my doubts on Instagram than Google? Sure.

I have realized that in cricket, whenever somebody is retiring or it’s their last game, fans from both countries playing & even fans who aren’t from either country, give a standing ovation or at least clap at the end. Even the players on the ground give the retiring person warmth and a proper send-off with true respect.

But this last match between Norway and Brazil really took me by surprise. I was expecting the players to do something on the ground for Neymar, or in general in any match where it’s publicly known that it’s a player’s last game. Only the Brazilian crowd cheered for Neymar, while the other side was just happy they qualified. And honestly, the players were disrespectful the goalkeeper had no reason to push him when they had already won. At that point, the match is over, just come back to sportsmanship.

It was honestly extremelyyyyyy underwhelming.
Someone who is such a great player was ending his international career and this is what happened.

And this is why I love cricket (eventhough I don't watch it as much as I do football) the respect players get from fellow players and fans, no matter which country they’re from. It feels like it’s done for the love of the sport.

Makes me wonder if football is actually more about the love for your club or country rather than the sport itself.

Talking about jewellery or traditional outfit

I saw a haul today of gold jewellery and there was this very unique-looking, very, very mystical piece. It was a teal green, big chunky rectangular ring with a diamond in the centre and then two gold sides. And the woman was saying, “I would pass it down to my children or grandkids” and I suddenly had this urge to also have something very mystical that I would pass down. Or some weird ass outfit that I absolutely hate but is so different that when passed down, the hereditary just enough becomes a treasure LOL.

Ain't no way I am passing down my dainty gold rings or dainty sleek necklaces 😂😭😭

This also made me think how minimalistic our design has become. Like, what happened to those weird ass chunky jewellery pieces that honestly came from India, and now we see women all over the world wearing these chunky bracelets..like wdym. You must have seen those posts about how designs are becoming so minimal of buildings and homes and taps and poles and benches in the park and everything.

I hate the word aesthetic. Like people be saying, “I have an aesthetic Pinterest coded house,” like wdym aesthetic?? Who decided what is aesthetic? Minimal is aesthetic? could be, but not always. Aesthetic is so personal. And our houses were built for maximalism. I hope Indians understand and come back to our maximalism (not in weddings please 😂), but in other stuff.

I'm sorry I started out with jewellery and came to something else, I was just thinking out loud lol.

Thanks for reading this though.

I overthink everything, make simple situations more complicated than they need to be, and stress over the smallest things.

I've noticed that people who don't take themselves too seriously often seem happier and more at ease. But how do you actually become like that?