I’m looking for some grounded perspective from people who have worked through SP situations.
For context, my SP and I met on Bumble. We went on three really good dates and there was a genuine connection there. Things ended respectfully, but it felt less like a lack of potential and more like “right person, wrong time.” We both had a lot going on, which didn’t help dating, and because of timing, busyness, and life circumstances, it was hard to build enough momentum.
Even after it ended, I couldn’t shake the feeling that our story wasn’t fully over. I wasn’t trying to force anything, but I started working on myself — improving my self-concept, emotional regulation, fitness, confidence, attachment patterns, journaling, affirmations, meditation, and generally becoming someone more secure and aligned. Part of that work was also manifesting a natural reconnection with her, or someone better aligned, in a way that felt mutual and healthy.
Recently, I checked the 3D, which I know probably wasn’t helpful, and saw something that strongly suggests she may be pregnant. I don’t know the full circumstances, and I’m aware I could be missing context, but emotionally it hit me hard. I had believed there were signs our paths might cross again, so this has brought up grief, disappointment, confusion, and a need to detach in a healthier way.
I’m not looking for advice on interfering, “removing a 3P,” or forcing an outcome. I know she has her own life and autonomy.
What I’m trying to understand is how others have handled a moment where the 3D seemed to strongly contradict their desired outcome. Did you continue focusing on self-concept? Did you let the SP goal go completely? Did you shift toward “SP or better”? How did you stop yourself from spiralling, over-reading signs, or feeling like all the inner work was pointless?
I’d appreciate practical, emotionally grounded advice rather than extreme “persist no matter what” takes.