Having a major moment of insecurity as a bride
I just need to vent. I have always been average bodied, or slightly above average. I’d call myself midsize. My wedding is next month, and I am feeling so insecure about my body that I am worried I genuinely will hate every photo of me and look back at my wedding and just cry. There has never been a time in my life I’ve been genuinely happy with my body, and it’s so exhausting. I have always been active, which is also defeating. I feel I’m the kind of person they’re talking about when they say you can be fit and fat. I made a lot more lifestyle changes in the last year and have been told by numerous people they can tell I’ve lost a lot of weight (not sure if that helps or hurts, haha) and I know I have too, based on my measurements. But I still have so many areas of insecurity, specifically my arms. I feel my arms are going to look so large in my wedding gown and will be visible in every photo, and I’ll just hate them. I feel like I didn’t do enough to get myself to a place where I’d be happy with my appearance, even though I didn’t want to lose weight in an unsustainable way. I rarely see photos or videos of midsize brides on social media, and it’s so hard not to compare myself. I truly just don’t want to feel ugly and fat on a day that I am supposed to feel my most beautiful.
I of course realize the day is about my love, and the wonderful man that I am marrying as well, but unless you’ve experienced major body image issues I think it’s hard to fully grasp how upset and insecure I am feeling and borderline dreading the day and the photos to follow. I don’t want to feel this way, and yet I do.
TIA for reading.