AITA for not wanting to take a vacation with my bf?
So my bf and I have been together for a year plus and he wants us to take a vaction for our anniversary this year. The problem is that I don't think I can afford it. When I first met my bf, I was in a pretty good state financially, and we were able to take a trip together that I ended up paying the majority of. After that trip, I went through the toughest time of my life, to the point where I almost ended up homeless, and have been working ever since to get myself to the point where I feel financially comfortable making big plans. I can say that I'm in a much better place now compared to a year ago, but I still have responsibilities I have to care for. I'm saving for a car, since I currently don't have one, and I'm starting school soon, which means that I won't be able to work as much as I am now, not to mention I still have to pay my other bills. I am very cautious about spending, considering the situation I went through, and he's very well aware of all of this.
He wants us to take a vacation to San Juan this year, and I told him that's not something I would be able to do, but we could celebrate in other ways. He's not going to be paying for my portion of this supposed trip, nor am I expecting him to. Also, that last vacation we took together was his idea, and we were supposed to go 50/50, which I was fine with, but somehow ended up paying the majority of. All of that makes me even more uncomfortable taking a vacation with him.
I know I am not financially secure enough to take a vacation, especially one where I'm expected to pay for half of everything, and definitely not when I'm still rebuilding myself after the disastrous year I had. So AITA?