AITH for not enforcing my BILs house rules in my house?
My BIL has a house rule where the kids need to ask before they get anything. Snacks, soda, chips basically anything but water. At my house we have a snack drawer that anyone can take from without asking. He recently got very, irrationally, angry at us for letting his kids just get snacks when they were at our house. This difference in rules isn't new and he's questioned us in our before. We think letting them learn self control and regulation is important. It worked too, after switching to free range snacks our kids, ages 13, 10, and 5, all have very good self control and don't gorge or take too many. We actually go through fewer snacks than we did with the old way. My kids respect their house rules when they're over there and always ask. This might not have been such an issue for me, but last time everyone was over he made a huge scene about respecting his house and his things and his kids things, an incident with a friend's kid that's isn't relevant. But, he made a long post on social media about not respecting parents rules and specifically mentioned respecting snack time. I told him it's my house and my rules, the exact phrase he used on the other incident. Am I the a-hole for telling him to respect my house rules if he expects others to respect his?
Tl:Dr - BIL is mad I let his kids get snacks without asking at my house when he makes them ask at his.
**Edit**
To clarify, none of the kids, their 3 or my 3, have any food allergies or restrictions.
I do monitor how many snacks so the kids are having to make sure it's not insane.
His kids always ask when they get their first snack and I usually respond by asking if they ate their last real meal, breakfast in the morning or lunch in the afternoon, then tell them they know where the snacks are.
He also has a very strict 'clean your plate' rule that has lead to animated discussions because he's attempted to force my kids to clean their plate before they can leave the table. Big no go for me.