AITA for not wanting to block a swinger I met at a music festival?
Hello! This one’s a bit of a weird one so I’ll try my best to explain. Throw away because my reddit is the same as my instagram.
A few nights ago I (19M) was at a music festival by myself. A few friends of mine were going to show up later, but I always like finding new music so I went early for the openers. I’ll admit, I got pretty high, and this pretty girl (F27) was also sitting alone, very drunk. She waved me over and we started talking — she seemed sweet. She asked for my Instagram and we added each other.
However, after like 2 minutes she mentioned she’s seeing her bf in 2 days but he lives out of state. I asked “he doesn’t mind us talking?” and she said “no he’s more than ok with it… trust me” in a kinda sultry way. Immediate red flags, I am not the kind of guy who can do anything with a swinger. The night ends, we go home, I texted my group chat what happened and their immediate response was pretty much “block her.” Instead I just went to bed.
To make this make sense I need to tell you a little about me. I’ve been single for 3 years. Not for a lack of trying, just bad luck finding people who are attracted to me back. I’ve also had so many bad experiences on the apps that I’d rather wait and “do it the old fashioned way” than go back. Another thing: I really don’t like blocking people. To me it’s the same as flipping someone off and slamming a door in their face, and should only be used for people who really deserve it. I’ve only ever blocked one person.
The next morning I thought about it more and confirmed — I’m pretty sure she’s a swinger. I still have her Instagram. I went to block her, but stopped because she didn’t actually do anything wrong. Instead I muted her on everything and texted my friends: “yo I think the girl from last night was a swinger??” Once again, they say block her. So I explained: “This is probably selfish, but I don’t want to block her. She’s muted on everything and I have no intention of interacting with her — but it feels good to be desired. It’s like a little ego boost.”
They immediately came at me, saying I’m being manipulative and playing with her feelings. But I’m not doing either of those things? To me this is no different than what’s happened to me many times before. I’d give a girl my number, we’d add each other, and I’d never hear from her again. Except this time I’m on the receiving end. As selfish as it sounds, it feels good to be wanted. I’m not leading her on or engaging with her in any way. So I’m not blocking her because A) she hasn’t done anything to deserve it, and B) selfishly, I like knowing I met someone who finds me attractive.
AITA? And please be honest if i actually am being manipulative i want to correct it.