Can spouses change
Writing because I’m lost in my life. I’m mid 30s, two kids and have on the outside what looks like the ideal life. My kids are healthy and mostly happy, I work a good job, have a nice home, we aren’t struggling paycheck to paycheck but I’m married to a man who wants nothing more than to drink and be left alone. In the past two years he’s gambled away $300k between his 401K, savings and company stock. Every night he’s at minimum of 5-8 beers and just sits and doom scrolls on his phone. He won’t play with the kids, he’s annoyed when I ask for help, he’s annoyed if I ask for a hug after an upsetting day. He electively walked out last night because he’s doesn’t love me or the kids and wants to drink his beer in peace. He packed his clothes and few valuables to sell to get back out of debt enough to keep gambling. He has stated he doesn’t want therapy and he’s fine with the person he is. I know it’s not normal and my heart is completely shattered for what comes next - do things ever change or are the actions all I need to look at? I’m terrified of losing the financial security I’ve built why he pissed away everything, I’m terrified of losing custody of my boys, I’m terrified to be alone but at what point is the emotional abuse worth the potential losses? Hoping someone in a similar situation can advise. Myself and the kids still love him but is it more harm than good to chase someone who doesn’t care and can’t even confirm if he loves the kids of myself? Will divorce break me worse than I am? Is there ever peace on the other end for a broken mom?
Tl;dr marriage with an addict