AITA for wanting my parents not to help me with my wedding?
I (24F) just got engaged, and my fiancé (25M) is in the military. He proposed, I said yes, and we immediately started planning our wedding. My parents offered to help by paying for the venue, and honestly, both my fiancé and I felt such a sense of relief when they told us that.
We picked January 2027 because shortly after, we’ll most likely be moving due to his new orders. The military doesn’t exactly give you a lot of notice about when or where you’re moving, so anyone familiar with military life probably understands the pressure of trying to plan around uncertainty.
My mom has genuinely tried to be helpful, but somehow her intentions always seem to miss the mark. My dad always backs her up because she expects his support, and this dynamic has existed since I was a kid. She would always hit us with the classic, “Right, Bob?” and my dad would respond with, “Yeah kids, you know your mom is right…” before restating whatever she had just said.
Since the engagement, my mom has wanted to visit every single venue in the area and be involved in every detail. Whenever I say no to an idea I don’t like, she pouts and says I’m isolating myself or cutting her off as a mother.
Meanwhile, I’m enrolled in cosmetology school from 8–2 every day, and I commute an hour each way. I also manage social media for the school, and I have another small part-time job working for a salon while also doing social media management there. By the time I get home, I’m exhausted. Yet every day and every weekend becomes “wedding this, wedding that.”
I’m excited about planning the wedding, but we still haven’t settled on a date because we haven’t picked a venue yet. Certain venues only have specific dates available, and I still have venue tours scheduled throughout the coming week.
My mom has already tried to convince me to move the wedding to February because the venue she likes isn’t available in January, but she still insists we continue touring the venues she prefers.
Now I’ve been engaged for a full month with little actual planning done, and I really just want to get the ball rolling with the venue I originally liked. The cost is about $10,000 because it’s what the vendor calls a micro wedding, and honestly, it includes almost everything: the venue, bar, bartender, food, tables, chairs, and it’s indoors. At this point, we essentially just need a DJ and decorations.
My mom has already started shopping for decorations, my fiancé is handling the DJ, and his parents are hosting the rehearsal dinner. Everyone wants to help, and I genuinely appreciate that.
On top of that, my aunt and grandmother offered me $6,000 to use however I need. I can put it toward the wedding, save it, or use it for the honeymoon. Those same grandparents already offered us their timeshare for the honeymoon, so realistically, the $6,000 is more than enough to help us get the ball rolling.