i've got a lot of money troubles and nobody knows about it
so, this is embarrassing to write, i fear, i can't even confess this problem to myself. (english is not my first languag, sorry in advance for the mistakes)
i have a lot of money troubles, not like "one maxed out credit card", it's a whole system of credit cards and loans (everything hasn't collapsed yet only because i have a decent job and loving parents, who help a lot). i haven't told anyone, not closest friends nor family.
it all started in university, i had a scholarship so all my allowance was mine to spend. it was all good and i never worried about money. matter of fact, because i've got my bachelor degree in economics, i used to have investments and shit.
but by the start of my second year i was addicted to unnecessary luxuries, that were my dopamin substitutes. i mean, not insane luxuries, but i used to live on doordash, taxis, unnecessary shopping, nearby vacations. and that's how i've got my first credit card. i always thought that i will payoff w my allowance (scholarship+money from my parents), but you know how it goes, it all went downhil pretty fast for me too.
with my first job i've got my second credit card. my stupid brain though, i, for some reason, deserved to spend more money, while earning less than a minimum wage with my internship's salary.
and, i believe, everything was still manageable by the end of the third year, especially with a new job that i've got that summer.
but then it happened... the worst financial decision that i've made by that point. my friend has convinced me (i've convinced myself, let's hold me accountable) to go to an expensive trip abroad.
prior to the trip, i had an idea and it almost worked out: with my new job, i've got a low % loan to close my credit cards.
but ofc during that trip i was acting like i don't have money troubles and maxed my credit cards yet again! ik, i'm terrible. by the end of the final year i had a loan and three credit cards.
honestly, during my last year a normal person would have already told their friends and family. just sit home and quietly payoff their deb. but not me.
i only tell people the good things: my promotions, new offers, never the problems. i even loan people money, as if i have them here.
and now... it's been a year since i've graduated, i've been to all the vacations, weddings, funerals. of course with luxury gifts. i have a good job, so how could i not?
sooo... i have no question for you guys, ik i have to tell at least my closest family and friend how big my mountain of debt is. a few months with my ass sitting home w no events would cure at least the immediate part of the problem. but, it seems, i have too much pride to made this confession.
would love to hear if anyone was in the same stupid position as me (and like a million dumb-shopaholic fictional characters). when did it end for you? how are you now?