I need out
Can’t really do this much longer.. I just don’t know where to go from here.. have no clue how I’m going to start all over again.. but I literally have to.. not only for myself but for my two kids. I have put up with mental and emotional abuse for 12 years.. I lost any confidence I ever had and have been made to feel worthless. My kids need a mom who is not in a constant state of stress and depression.. they need a mom who doesn’t have to walk on eggshells in their own home. I can’t explain the peace and comfort that comes over me when he is not home and it is just me and my kids just laughing and smiling with each other.. that is my true happiness right there. There is no real connection between me and him at all.. that went out the door so long ago.. he makes it clear daily by his actions he no longer loves me and I’ve made it clear to him daily by simply telling him that I am not happy and I’m ready to move on with my life. He thinks it’s a joke and that I’m not serious and that I can’t do it on my own. I am so ready to show him I will. Any advice from anybody trying to do the same and start over with almost nothing? This is going to be a long stressful road for me 😞 but I am 30 now and since I was 16 I’ve been controlled by this “man”.. I will never let this happen again.. I’ve got to find myself again.