I (M22) feel horrible because I am fantasizing about relationships with women other than my girlfriend (F22). Am I destined to ruin this relationship?
I (M22) absolutely love my girlfriend (F22) with every fiber of my being. We have been dating for ~8 months and will be moving in together soon. I said “I love you” 2 months in. I know these things may seem very rushed but when I tell you that she is perfect in every way, believe me. In the 8 months we have been dating I genuinely can’t recall a single time she has ever said or done anything that made me upset. She is hilarious, smart, and curious; literally my top 3 most important character traits for my ideal partner. She is seriously perfect.
The issue is that there is this girl at work (24F) who I randomly developed a crush on and now can’t stop wondering, “what if I was with her?” The girl at work isn’t special. Logically I know that, even if I broke up with my girlfriend and somehow started a relationship with this girl from work, I wouldn’t be happier. I genuinely don’t think this girl from work is anything special. By that I mean, I am pretty sure that I could develop a crush on any girl who fits what I am looking for in a relationship. Ironically, she reminds me so much of my girlfriend, which is why I think I like her. I feel like such an asshole for typing out this sentence, but it almost feels like I am just trying to go after someone new because they are exciting.
Logically, I know I love my girlfriend and I plan to stay with her, but these thoughts make me feel like such a shitty person. I know I wouldn’t want my girlfriend to have thought like these about any other guy in her life, so I feel bad for having these thoughts about some random girl in my life. I hope she never finds out I am having these thoughts, but I am awful at keeping secrets and she can read me like a book. I don’t plan on telling her what is bothering me, but I am afraid that if these thoughts don’t go away I may ruin a relationship with the most amazing girl I have ever met. (I am not talking about cheating. I would absolutely never, ever, cheat on anyone. I am just talking about my doubts and fears dividing us slowly).
Has anyone ever experienced this and have any advice? Will I just stop having these thoughts as I mature? Is there anything I can do to stop fantasizing about other girls?
TL;DR: I am fantasizing about relationships with girls in my life that are not my girlfriend and feel genuinely awful for doing it. I just can’t stop having these thoughts intrusive thoughts though.