u/Chemical-Manager-252

I ( f 19 ) was diagnosed with autism quite late. I was diagnosed at 15. I’ve always had quite a strange quirk and I’m wondering if anyone else is similar. For some reason, I absolutely despise when people take certain things such as in college and someone asks for a pen or if a friend is over they ask for a pair of socks or an outfit to wear. No matter what the size of the item is I get extremely anxious to the point where I cannot focus on anything except for the fact that they have something of mine. I really don’t think it’s a possessive thing as my love language is gift giving and my favourite holiday is Christmas as I can get to spoil my loved ones. An example is during college when someone already seen I had a spare pen so I couldn’t say no when they asked to borrow one, I couldn’t focus at all during the lecture as every thought inside my brain reminded me that they had my pen. I would rather buy my friend a brand new pen or new socks rather than they take my things. I feel extremely selfish and embarrassed by how stressed out I feel when someone asks for something that should be so simple. I have 0 issues buying things for others and gifting people. I buy things for people all the time and I have no issues handing it over. Maybe it’s because when I buy something I know in my head it’s not mine and I know that it’ll be handed over but I’m not sure. If anyone is similar, is there any reason why?

This might be quite long so apologies. I’m 19 and diagnosed with autism for 4 years. Apart from my autism, I experience regular hallucinations which can apparently be a part of autism. I also have an extremely bad memory, I find myself not being able to remember any conversation or tasks I am given. Until last year, I was under the impression that the Disability Allowance is assessed by parental income ( I live at home so this would’ve been an issue ). As I was under that impression, I had to work or else I would’ve had no income ( as I’ve mentioned, I do live at home so bills are not an issue however transport and day to day expenses are ). When I found out last year that it wasn’t assessed by parental income, I applied. At the time I was working, as I had very little choice for income. I was facing extreme burnout and mental exhaustion, and I was extremely disheartened when my application was disallowed as they believed that I was not incapable of working. I did appeal and was told the same. I applied again, as I don’t believe that I explained myself very well as I had no help filling the application out and I struggled filling it out. Since my last application, I had to leave my job as I was mentally exhausted. I’m currently stuck with no income, as I physically cannot work and I’m scared that I’ll be disallowed again so I’m not too sure what choices I have. I’m not sure if anyone else has experienced a similar situation, but any advice would be extremely appreciated. Also to add, I regularly attend a psychiatrist and I have evidence of brain scans that I’ve had to have done just incase the hallucinations were epilepsy, that came back clear but I’ve sent every bit of evidence I have along with the application I have currently.