Assaulted by a woman, as a woman
Hi there, I never thought I'd be coming here for support and advice.
I am 21F Lesbian, and I went on a camping trip with my girlfriend, older sister, and her friends back in september ( all 24F)
It was fun, I was enjoying the fire and just camping in general is soothing to me. There was alcohol involved, and everyone was pretty buzzed. But one of my sister's friends (24F), let's call her Vera. Vera I've known since pretty much kindergarten. We went to the same elementary school, highschool, so we would cross paths very often. Especially since she and my sister get along well. Last year, Vera had really joined my sisters friendgroup more than ever. Back to the camping trip, everyone is pretty buzzed on alcohol (me too), before anything happened, I truly was having a good time with everyone, including Vera. It was very chill.
We are standing quite a distance from Vera and the others, who were huddled near the fire. Me and my girlfriend we're talking like we always do, ans suddenly, Vera gets up and walks towards us. I thought she was going to spark a conversation with us, but I was truly wrong. She came up to me, and groped my breasts very hard. So hard I almost fell back, but she made sure to squeeze them a little, too. It hurt, and did not feel good. She did it in front of my girlfriend too, so she was very unhappy too. It was never addressed, but she had come up to me the following morning when everyone was packing, mentioning I seemed very uncomfortable around her, and all i could do is nod my head yes.
I cried that night, as it made me feel disgusting, and upset.
Now to after the camping trip, about 3 months afterwards. She has nothing to say about it. She vented to all OUR friends, including my own sister about it, admitting that she knew she made me uncomfortable, and she wanted to make things right. All the friends said that she should just reach out to me, but she was doing anything but that. My DMs were open, I hadn't blocked or restricted messages from her, because I was hoping she'd atleast acknowledge what she did. Still nothing.
Now, to present time, May. I had recently found out that she had told everyone that she had apologized to me, thinking I wouldn't hear from them about it. This made me livid. I wasn't expecting an apology period, since its been 7 months with nothing. But her lying to everyone that she did, is so low.
I got upset, I called her a coward. And explained that she had put way more energy into telling everyone she apologized, than how much energy an actual apology would take. I went on about why it affects me so much, and how her being drunk isn't an excuse at all for sexual assault. She then proceeded to ghost me, but vented to everyone about what i said to her in DMs.
It seems like all my sister's friends are supportive of me stepping my foot down, finally standing up for myself, since I usually lack that ability when it comes to abuse towards me. They've Been trying to tell her to communicate with me in DMs and not involve them. But unfortunately, she has restricted/blocked my messages, and says the ball is in my court now. Even though she's the one not communicating. She hasn't viewed my messages since April 30th.
My sister thinks I'm overreacting. She tells me girls do it all the time, touching eachother's butts and boobs in a playful manner. And I believe it, I think its okay too if boundaries are set. But there was no communication or boundaries set with me.
If it were a man who groped me, things would be different. Why is it not treated the same when a woman assaults a woman?? Assault is assault, and even if youre intoxicated, its still assault. Period.
I wish I was taken more seriously, especially from my own family. I feel so alone in this situation, of course my girlfriend is my #1 supporter, and I love her for that. But even my own sister is defending Vera. It hurts, because all I ever wanted was an explanation on why she would lie to her friends about something so serious, then block me when I civilly confront her, giving her a chance to communicate everything.
I don't want any hate on my sister, shes coming around quick to understand how serious this is, and how its affecting me.
It feels good to vent about this, put it out somewhere. I want to tell the police, press charges. Because she lost her chance of making things right.