u/Chemical-Shift972

I have had multiple experiences where I gave unsolicited advice at work or online, and the reactions were mixed. I usually only give advice to people I think could genuinely benefit from it, and I don't care whether they ultimately choose to follow it or continue doing things the way they always have.

For example, when I was 17, I made a friend at a restaurant where we worked the same job. Our responsibilities were to seat guests and clear dishes from tables. I quickly noticed that she rarely cleared anything herself and often directed me to clean up instead. At first, I didn't think much of it because she was older than me and had been hired before I was. During each shift, we received one free meal. One day, while we were both on break, I saw her eating her meal, sat next to her, and we started talking. She told me about several of her health issues, and in my mind, things started to click. She was obese, so I suggested that if she wanted to walk more, become healthier or leaner, she could consider switching departments and working in the parking lot. That had been my previous job, and I regularly walked around 10,000 steps per shift. I also mentioned that the meals at the restaurant were very calorie-dense, which was why I personally avoided them. Later, she reported me to our manager. My manager spoke with me and told me not to discuss coworkers' food choices or habits.

It doesn't seem like I actually helped her, but my intention was to help. Would Jesus Christ view it that way?

No one on earth has perfectly conventional attractiveness measurements. Some people may have PCOS and be considered more attractive because of traits associated with higher estrogen, while others are born with crooked teeth or other features that are not conventionally ideal.

If we are perfected and renewed, so to speak, in paradise, what would that mean exactly? Does it mean everyone would have straight teeth and the ideal signs of high estrogen or testosterone, but without the accompanying disorders? Wouldn't we all end up looking the same?

Wouldn't it make more sense for everyone to look as they did around age eighteen, or as they were supposed to look without any external influences? I was not born with anything abnormal, though I may have a slightly recessed chin and a larger forehead. But I share those two traits with my mom. Would they be erased?

I try to imagine a world where everyone is perfect and wonderful, but it feels impossible unless everyone accepts their recessed chins and large foreheads with love, or is blind to them.

Hi! I understand that menstruation is unclean because it involves blood. Unfortunately, not everyone understands that this was never meant to justify mistreating women, and I know that was not God’s intention. I think I’m struggling because it’s hard for me to see menstruation as something unclean now, especially when we’ve discovered ways it can even be used for something valuable, like stem cells. Part of me also doesn’t want to view it that way because so many men, and even some women, already look down on women during that time of the month. I understand that menstruation is messy, but is it really something that deeply dirty? I think I’m just feeling a little sad about how it has been treated.

I dislike being around people. I do not hate them, and I am not indifferent to their suffering, but if I had the choice to spend all my time with only my partner, I would choose that without hesitation.

I'm often lazy, which I understand is siinful. Buy, overcoming my laziness usually means interacting with other people, and I strongly dislike doing that. I have a job that requires very little communication. I also live with family, but because I sleep during the day and work at night, I rarely interact with them.

I know that God is righteous and would never scam me, but it's also difficult for me to imagine paradise as a place meant for me when it will also be filled with other people.

When I was younger, I may have thought that having friends would be nice, but I think I mostly saw friendship as a step toward eventually finding a partner. I'm unsure that I truly cared about my friends for their own sake.

I can imagine myself running into a burning building to save my partner, my cat, or perhaps my family. But, I don't know whether I could bring myself to risk my life for anyone else.

My partner wants to attend church someday. I would never stop him, and I would probably go with him, but I don't really want to. I fear that instead of focusing on God, I would spend the entire service thinking about how quickly I could leave.

My siblings have tried to bring me places and help me socialize. Sometimes I hide, and other times I manage to have pleasant conversations for a little while before leaving.

I do not want anyone to suffer, and I actively try to be helpful when I can. Still, if I had the choice, I would rather spend all my time with the love of my life and never be anywhere else. The fact that I feel this way worries me. How am I supposed to attend to church and make relationships there? I don't want any more relationships. I'm already having a hard time accepting God as is.

Hi! I was baptized as a baby in what I believe was a Catholic church, but we have no record of it. I only know because my family told me, although they are atheists. Can I be baptized again, or is repentance the only way to cleanse oneself?

I also have a very personal question. I am in a long-distance relationship and struggle daily with strong sexual desires. Whenever I tell my partner how difficult this is, they only apologize. I do not feel that I have to masturbate, but when I do not, I feel extremely restless and can hardly think about anything else. My libido is very high, while my partner rarely mentions sexual desire and has not done so for years.

I don't think the bride/marriage metaphor is just symbolic. Marriage is too serious, too intimate, and too emotionally-charged for God to use it casually. So when people reduce it to “it’s only a metaphor,” that feels inadequate. Bride and bridegroom suggests exclusivity, even if it is not sexual or earthly-romantic.

From what I understand, Jesus loves us the way a father loves His children, and that love is personal and belongs fully to each of us. How can I marry a father figure? I also understand that earthly marriage is meant for procreation, and that in paradise there will be no need for procreation. But that makes it sound like earthly marriage and our union with God will become equal. I don’t know how I feel about that, because once upon a time earthly marriage was romantic.

I also struggle with the idea that in paradise we will all simply be brothers and sisters. I don't want to think of my partner only as my brother, and I don't want more siblings or more of the same relationship I already have.

I just can't wrap my head around it. We will all be united, but we are still separate. I can share a father, but I can't share my partner.

How does God fit into marriage? And why are we marrying God? Why does He want to marry His loyal followers?

The following is essentially a messy retelling of my life story, followed by a question at the end. You can skip to the end if you'd like; you don't need the entire story to respond. In many ways, this is more of a defense or confession than anything else.

I met my partner online through Reddit. At the time, I was 19 and heartbroken. I hadn't had a real relationship before him, though I had met three significant men online beforehand. Each “relationship” lasted about as long as a single phone call.

I was born with very chubby cheeks that obscure what I consider my more attractive facial features. For reference, I've been rated around a 6.8-8 on the PSL scale on my best days, or about an 8.5/10 on a normal scale for non-Redditors.

The first man rejected me because I had dropped out of high school and came from a very humble background. The second rejected me prematurely because of my appearance, having only seen a bathroom headshot of me at first. Later, after I gave him access to my Instagram photos, he tried to rekindle things. That broke my heart. I had tried to be honest and vulnerable with him - to share everything and become “one flesh,” in a sense - because I had always held Christian values, even while being agnostic.

A couple of months later, I rejected the third man myself. He seemed sweet and genuine, but I disliked the photo he sent me: he was sitting in a car wearing a bright orange, prisoner-like shirt and had a beard. He was around 24. After being judged for my appearance, I decided it was acceptable to judge others for theirs.

Anyway, a few days - or maybe a week - later, I met my now-fiancé. I had enrolled in college, and my prospects seemed brighter, so I didn’t hesitate to contact him. We clicked immediately; almost everything lined up perfectly. The problem was that I was still heartbroken and miserable. I had become so afraid of insincere relationships that I almost wished I could stop being attracted to men altogether.

Right away, I told him that if he wanted a relationship with me, he would have to marry me. Ironically, I became exactly what I feared. We “married” online in a half-joking way: I sent him flower GIFs, and we exchanged vows online.

It didn’t feel romantic or sincere on my end. I had my fingers crossed behind my back, so to speak. But he took it very seriously.

Over the next several months, I broke up with him multiple times for various reasons. At first it was the distance and the fact that we hadn’t met in person. Then it was his height. I know that sounds awful. He was my height, and I wasn’t happy about it.

Even after we met in person, I still wasn’t satisfied. I didn’t like his shyness or what I perceived as an unsophisticated demeanor, even though he was honestly more sophisticated than I could ever hope to be. I kept breaking up with him, and somehow he always convinced me to come back. I broke his heart.

So my question is this: did we break up, or did we divorce? Were we ever even truly married? I gave him my virginity during the first week we met in person. I was lonely and emotionally weak.

Part of the reason I ask is because I haven’t been completely faithful, either spiritually or physically - if masturbation counts, which I believe it does. I still struggle with these things, though it becomes easier when I see him face-to-face. We only see each other about twice a year.

He wasn’t Orthodox Christian until more recently, and in a strange way, he ended up converting me as well.

I think that if God exists - and I believe He most likely does - then Jesus Christ is God. I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t know whether I’d be brave enough to die for that belief, though I also don’t think I could deny Him if directly asked. I’m doubtful and cowardly, and I struggle with that deeply.

I’m also not fully honest with my partner about certain deeply personal matters, and I feel like I can’t be without risking the relationship. I don’t want to be labeled an adulterer for eternity because of adulterous thoughts or actions committed while we may have been “married.”

We still haven’t married legally. I call him my fiancé even though the proposal happened online, and I bought my own engagement ring after losing the one he gave me. I think his ring might even have been plastic. Honestly, I’m not sure whether I intentionally lost it or not.

I don’t attend church. He attends church online and intends to attend in person when possible.

I also pay for our visits. If I didn’t have a job, we probably wouldn’t see each other at all.

I realize this story sounds fake. I know it seems strange that someone could "marry" another person online and stay in a relationship where the only thing being offered is possibly genuine love. I say “possibly” because no one can ever be completely certain of another person’s love on this earth.

Still, I’m more than willing to confess all of this to God, or even anonymously like this.

So I guess my real question is: what is marriage? If two people exchange vows online and promise monogamy to each other, are they actually married in the eyes of God?

And for those who read all of this: am I condemned?