I really want to get my master’s degree. I started taking pressed Adderall during my first master’s program, and everything in my life fell apart from there. A few years later, I got sober and decided to give grad school another try. I spent last year working hard on my application portfolio for a game art program.
Yesterday, I received a rejection from one of my dream schools. They said they have too many applicants and very limited spots. From what I’ve learned, people who got in submitted 4–6 game demo pieces, while I barely submitted 2. Just completing those two pieces in a year was already incredibly difficult for me. I feel like I might never be able to compete with others in this society in terms of quantity and efficiency.
Finding a job in Shanghai as a woman in my early 30s with a very empty CV and no prior experience in the industry has also been devastating. Every time I talk to a new HR person, I get extremely nervous—I fear questions about my age and the gap. My art skills are fine, but I don’t even know if I have a real chance.
My family doesn’t believe I can have a career. They keep pushing me to find a husband who can take care of me financially. I hate it.
Right now, I just don’t see where hope is. Why am I so late for everything?