r/StopSpeeding

A bit of an interesting post but I wanted to ask this question coming from someone who’s been diagnosed with ADHD and struggled their whole life with addiction issues whether it’s food addiction or alcohol caffeine. I’m a 21 year old male and after struggling my whole never completing school I decided to get checked for ADHD and to not much surprise I was diagnosed I started out on vyvanse 30mg and the first few days was like as expected that honeymoon phase and in the back of mind it really felt to good to be true tbh felt as if I just unlocked the secrets to life and now medicated for my adhd I have my life under control and I can achieve everything I want. I took the 30mg vyvanse for a month on and off but started noticing the effects just wasn’t lasting as long as I’d like must have been building some sort of tolerance to it (I will say I still don’t understand the whole tolerance concept with these meds). It also started affecting my sleep so I swapped to dexadrine 15mg a day which worked a lot smoother just take one every few hours when needed. But this is where I’m confused when taking the medication I feel really good like an real calmness but this is where I don’t know if it’s because it’s treating my adhd or because I’m just high on amphetamines. I’ve never abused the medication and I don’t want to because that brings a huge amount of side affects that would further fuck up my life but what I want to know is am I just treating my adhd or am I just high on amphetamines and that’s why I feel good. I do also want to add that when medicated all my impulses and urges to drink alcohol or eat bad and stuff like that disappear and when on my anxiety is really low Just really confused on these concepts?

I’m 280 days off adderall and caffeine, my main problems by far are sleep problems (2 hours for multiple nights in a row at times) very debilitating neck tension and bodily anxiety (significant tremors, body shaking etc).

I’m not sure if these are related to stimulants anymore or if it’s ptsd symptoms..

I recently had to visit the er due to very little sleep and psychotic symptoms emerging, they put me on seroquel but it doesn’t seem to do much for what I’m experiencing beside sedating me a bit- there is still significant hyperarousal

For those of you who are further into the process or even out the other side (whatever that means)...what do you wish you could say to yourself 9 months after stopping Adderall?

Any advice? Managing expectations? What to expect over the next 3-6 months?

Thanks!

I’m at a month now and watching a YouTube video about Malta. Some beautiful scenery on the water, incredible food. they are interviewing a priest about some amazing artwork and architecture within a church.

I’m sitting here thinking none of this means a damn thing to me, it inspires no feeling whatsoever. I feel nothing. They could be describing a brick wall or a bowl of cornflakes for all I care. And it gets me thinking, do other humans enjoy things? I literally don’t care about any object or arrangement of atoms or smell or flavour or whatever. I don’t care about an ancient Roman Fresco or a People Magazine, I do not care for an apple or a coffee mug or 10 million dollars. I hear no difference in a seagulls shriek and a Beethoven composition. I don’t favour A red velvet cake to a fistful of mud.

I’ve been thinking about drinking once every couple of weeks to ease the anhedonia but it ends up being a binge and it makes me feel terrible for days afterward.
It’s just not worth it.

I’ve lifted weights today and been out for a long walk. Yesterday evening a went for a solid run and really got the heart-rate up. But it’s like I don’t feel anything no matter what I do. You could put me in a catapult and fucking launch me at the moon, I do not care, it is nothing to me.

I’m day 3 clean off of a heavy bender on my adhd meds.
I don’t plan on going back but this feels pretty bad.
I’m usually pretty good at describing my emotions and I can’t even put into words how it feels.
I slept for two straight days, this morning I have to do stuff like work etc and I wanna keep sleeping.
Also my anxiety has been pretty bad my phobias have come back full swing.
I’ll wake up with adrenaline etc.
I just feel flat I guess.

Hi.

I am in my 40s and I was officially diagnosed with adhd in 2023.

I do have adhd. But I had learned to function perfectly well with it with no help.

Then, towards the end of 2023, a friend was getting some Adderall and I asked for one.

I had never taken it before and I was just tired and wanted to get through a shift. That first one was an ir, it was 30 mg and I only took half. I could still feel effects 10 hours later.

Since that day, almost 3 years ago, I have gone maybe a total of 7 days without any. I pretty quickly got my own prescription, then got it upped as high as my dr is willing to go.

Obviously, that wasn't sufficient for long. So I've been buying it. A lot of it.

On any given day, I take 120-200mg. I haven't slept longer than 6 hours in a very long time. It's usually more like 4. I still eat because I make myself.

I had amphetamine induced psychosis about a year and a half ago. it was a solid 2 weeks (maybe more, time was weird) of absolutely bat shit behavior. like I thought people were poisoning me, spying on me, I even tried to file a restraining order. then one day I just was me again.

I did see a psych at that point, but did not disclose my Adderall usage.

I couldn't even begin to tell you how much I took today. A lot. But I wasn't counting because I have a new script and I'm not rationing.

I am aware that this is not sustainable. I know I need to quit. But I also know what I've read about quitting. I have kids and a high pressure, high stress job that requires me to be on top of my game 24/7.

How do I manage all of this without Adderall? I was doing it before. But I've changed my brain chemistry

The last time I didn't have any for a day, I was MISERABLE. Like couldn't get off the couch, zero motivation, zero attention span, less than zero energy, irritated, and exhausted.

I can't do that every day.

Realistically, how long does that last? And is there anything I can do to make it better?

Please tell me what worked for you.

I can't keep going like this. I've spent so much money. And probably already destroyed my heart.

Please help.

On May 4th I thought I hit a mental rock bottom after almost 2 years of a pretty severe meth addiction. My addiction has been a rollercoaster, every few months my life looks so different. For most of 2025, everyone knew I was using, I got sober for a month in December, and since then I've convinced my family that I've remained sober. But I relapsed in January of this year, unbeknownst to everyone in my life.
So from May 5th until today I was sober (April was rough so I felt it was time to quit once and for all) and I thought I was doing really well. On day 10 I began taking NAC after reading potential benefits it could have for a recovering meth addict. On day 15 (today) I started having extreme anxiety attacks that were just not stopping. I also smoke weed frequently (not proud of this nor would I recommend it) but I've never had this happen from smoking.
Anyway, I relapsed after being panicked all day and feeling desperate for relief. The main reason I got into meth was for the false sense of "anxiety relief" it gives me though of course it only causes more anxiety in the long run.
So idk if it was the NAC, the weed, the combination of the 2, or something else that was making me panic. I have no idea and I'm not trying to justify this relapse I'm just lost on why I had these random anxiety attacks.
I plan to try and get sober again tomorrow, hoping it'll be for good this time. Never taking NAC again, and I'm gonna work on quitting smoking.
I want to add that last night I was kind of heartbroken because I discovered new information about my ex bf possibly cheating on me, but it didn't initially make me want to relapse. But maybe it played a part in the way I felt today? Idk guys, I've kept my relapses a secret and I still work full time, but this lifestyle is not sustainable and I don't believe any meth addict can be "functional". And although my family loves me they have understandably kicked me out in the past (I'm 19 and live w/ parents)
Also I have no one I can reach out to comfortably because I broke up with my bf a few days ago and honestly he was my only friend and only person who wouldn't be horrified to hear that I relapsed. Just wanted to share my experience because I don't go to meetings and don't know anyone in a similar situation.
Again I am NOT trying to justify this relapse, sobriety is my greatest wish right now and this is a huge loss for me.

Hi im 21 from Australia

I started ice. At 14 trying to self mange adhd. At 16 I saw a physc who prescribed my old self dexys knowing I had problems with ice. Long story short I wound up bafk there a month later after a bender of dexys+ice for days at a time. I got switched to vyvanse as a last resort. And it was the only adhd medication my other persontily took correctly 20mg once a day. And didnt give me a high or made me jittery. Until I started md+coke+ket+ice at 18. And meds+emtions went out of window. I fell into that cycle. Year and year round.

Now im 21 found out I have DID and not BPD. Which fed into my self desrtive self. Being told bpd no emtions etc. Past subaynce abuse. And bring prescribed meds which fed my destrruvce self. All while my physc knew

Iv been 12 days sober. And my other self system now. Where iv talked to docs+new physc. And can take 20mg vyvsane. But will have to switch to a non stim after a few months. As I the emitions side is the only stable side of me and the non abusive side. I have also abused xanx and serqoual in the past. And I stil take them bur now as its prescribed. Please do not judge ppl if they have to use a adhd med to deal with withdrawals at least in Australia ice is a big problem and relapse rates are at a high due to it being everywhere. So unfortunately for now I do have to take vyvanse due to my area being know for a hotspot for meth ):

Edit to the person in the last post I am sorry again for going off just iv had 0 percent success rate i went 9 days cold Turkey. And was warned I couldn't due to my mental health because of the damage ice has done to me. I am really sorry again I didnt mean to go off bro ):

Edit sorry for the long text addiction/mental health has always been a stay silent dont tell anyone anything for me. And unfountrtly im realaring after 12+ years of not talking to anyone about my problems

Edit again sorry I should mention my bio family was full of addicts. And thats how my old self lost his father+grandfather was ice+herion over doses. And my egg donor lied. I only found out 21 year later I was born a herion+meth baby....

I feel helpless and honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

Has anyone successfully quit meth while dealing with chronic pain, anxiety, and declining health? I’ve beaten alcohol, opiates, crack, and cocaine before, but meth has been the hardest mentally for me to quit.

I’m dealing with 2 herniated discs, a pinched sciatic nerve, venous insufficiency in my feet and legs, chronic pain, and worsening health. I’ve also had a weak immune system my entire life, which makes me worry even more about what this is doing to my body. I had to quit my job because standing too long causes severe pain and my legs and back give out. I’m also speaking with a disability lawyer.

I’m in physical therapy, seeing doctors and specialists, taking medications, and I have strong faith in God. Every night I pray for the strength to stop, but every morning I struggle and feel like I can’t function without that one line. I only use once a day, but I’m scared of the damage it may be causing.

I’m only 48 and mostly homebound now. I feel defeated and could really use advice from anyone who has been through something similar. What finally helped you quit?

I stopped cold turkey abusing my meds after nearly a decade 7 months ago. Today, I celebrated with a new more lucrative and higher paying career. The freedom of not counting meds, worrying about naps, ECT was overwhelming..

I wish I could convey how much better my life is now. I was terrified to quit. After 10 years of HEAVY absuse?! No way..i read the horror stories. But something had to give.

The first 3 months were the hardest but I told myself I dug this hole and I needed to get out of it no matter what. Every day I forced myself to get up, get ready, go to work, and do some type of physical activity, usually a hike and yoga.

My food choices were shite the first few months..then I locked in when I realized all these extra walks and yoga were causing me to lean out in a good way (I always been overweight).

In 7 months I've lost 47 lbs. I'm the healthiest I've ever been and I'm no spring chicken. I laugh freely. Smile more. My motivation? Yeah it could use some help but it's a trade off for being alive. When I abused my meds, I was waging a war against my body. Now I wage a kinder, more productive war by living a beautiful life.

This post is for all the lurkers like I was for SO many years that read that you can't feel good for years. Don't let that stop you like I did! I cannot wait to see what my life is like in 2 years. Dump the script. Come clean to your doc..get your ass to meeting and do the work. I mean this with love from my whole heart: I wish someone would have told me life could be good again MUCH sooner, but I wouldn't have listened. I hope anyone that made it through my rambles gathers some type of hope from it 💜

I went down the rabbit hole of coffee, because I really liked the rush it gave me and better focus. I ended up at 10 cups of coffee. I didn't care about brewing or taste, i just bought preground seeds and soaked them in water. Sometimes I wouldn't sleep for 2 days because I loved being awake at night playing video games on caffeine. Eventually I figured I didn't need coffee for these effects and ended up taking caffeine pills. 300mg at a time and up to around 2g a day/2 days. This is where i am at now and I don't know what I can do to stop. It feels like my new reality. For jitters I just sometimes do pregabalin.

Is this a serious addiction and basically speeding or is it ok?

Not satire.

Hi

I have been clean now 11 month and 3 weeks almost , i have come a long way starting with phsyical symptoms the first 3 months feom suicidal thoughts to psychotic depression ,i had developed meth induces psychosis which lasted upto 3 months after i quit meth , i was on and off meth for a year . There hss not been a relapse because i realise how i scrwe up my life my work my social life

Thw problems which i still fave today i feel numb at brain at certain areas not all of it feel disconbected from reality i would say in 11 months i feel 50-60% better but i cant call it functional

Any idea from ur experiences if it has gone completely how long it took , i used to havw issue with conversation as i didnt know how i wqs talking and what should i be talking it has also improved there is still issues with long term and short term memory and fatigue

(Sorry for poor english as its not my primary language )

does anyone else hear voices while on meth?

I’m writing this to encourage myself for the hard days ahead. Maybe I’ll relapse, but I think writing out my reason for quitting will help me stick to things.

Maybe some of you can relate and this will help you too.

1. I will be my old self again. The silly, neurodivergent person that finds joy in the small things. I will be able to actually laugh again. I won’t be a masked zombie with no feelings.

2. My partner will get all the cuddles and attention he deserves instead of me being locked into a screen for hours, not wanting to be interrupted for anything. We won’t feel distant from each other. He won’t be sad and missing the old me. (He has mentioned how my abuse affects him) I want to be present and a good partner for him. He deserves that.

3. Sleep. Glorious sleep. I will be able to give my body the rest it needs. Sleep feels so wonderful after you’ve gotten average 3 hours a night for days. My body won’t be sore anymore from lack of sleep.

4. My routine and schedule/how I treat others/my work performance won’t be based around if I have taken a pill or not.

5. To feel less alone and isolated, even with people. To be able to actually connect with humans and enjoy human interaction instead of being locked in my room all day only wanting to fixate on my task.

6. Strangely enough, to improve motivation to do simple tasks or even get out of bed. The abuse causes extreme executive dysfunction for me, to the point where I don’t even feel like getting out of bed to pee when I need to, or even leaving my house to go get something I need.

Been telling myself that I need speed to study for quite some time. Ran out of the stuff days before a test and had to study sober.

Managed to get similar grades, and study sufficiently well. While not as clear-headed and focused as when under the effects of amphetamine, I was good enough in the end. This episode made me see that this "need drugs to study" is just some bullshit I've been telling myself as I attempted to substitute actual effort with drug use.

Hey. I used to visit this sub very often, because I used to abuse adderall. I've been sober for nearly 5 years now, and this sub was a great assistant while I was working towards that goal. Now I have a different problem: my younger sister is addicted to meth. I think it is likely that she has been for around 2 years.

I learned that she was using meth yesterday because a mutual friend told me. Trying to help a family member recover from a substance abuse problem is different from trying to recover yourself, so I want to educate myself before I address this issue. Where can I learn more about helping my sister? What should I do, what shouldn't I do?

32 M, High performance and being “on” has become a part of who I am.
For me it was fitness. Specifically strength training and secondary to that running, which in hindsight was the running was just a way to manage the extreme anxiety..

My therapist says I’m suffering from what seems like (not officially diagnosed, waiting for a psychiatrist review) c-ptsd from severe bullying in high school. I was always the shortest skinniest kid around and other kids took advantage of that since I can remember.

I never wanted to be this helpless again and so I wanted to get stronger. But no matter how strong I got it was never enough, 6 years ago I started misusing prescribed adderall+caffeine to push past my natural limits until my body broke down.

As part of my journey I became a personal trainer specializing is in strength training and a dietician. My whole being revolved around fitness and nutrition, it was everything I could think of and talk about, very passionate but from a hollow place.

I’m now 9 months off stims during which my body started transforming (muscle loss/ fat gain), I stopped coaching and am facing my false identity trying to understand what I actually care about and want in life. I spent the last 17 years chasing my own tale and have no idea who I am now

I could yap for hours about my addiction, but for now… I want advice on one particular thing. How do I stop buying from my two connections? As crazy as it is, if I moved across the country and had no access to them, I would simply *stop* taking ads/vy because it wouldn’t be an option and I’m not dumb enough (not offense) to take street shit. But I keep going back to these two people. I’ll blow them up, offer copious amounts of money for a few pills, binge them, and repeat. For a literal decade now.

Any advice?

Hello lovely /r/stopspeeding Community,

I am just here to declare that I have absolutely no control over the substances I consume. I am 27 and have done the usual EU drug circus. Nothing had a grip on me like Speed, Pep, Amphe, whatever you want to call it. Before going to parties I was already looking forward to """STIMMING""", basically another 8 to (up to) 20 hours of post-rave/post after hour single action. Even with girlfriend I would sneak into the bathroom for sometimes up to 2 hours (no way she didnt notice). I feel so liberated typing this, Before I found this sub I thought this was my dark demonic secret that was going to warp my brain and soul from the inside. Anyways, a few years down the road, I really thought I did it (i was also in stationary rehab). I was sober for over 2 years, had sober friends, life had a vibrancy unfamiliar to me previously. I eventually started smoking weed again because after such a long abstinance it felt nice again so quickly became a habit. As per usual smoking blunts (joints in US) every day introduced a variable into my life that was unpredictable and a remnant of a past I thought I had COMPLETELY UNDER CONTROL AND MASTERED. It was through my plug who gave me some xtc-pills for free, After I told him I dont take MDMA because of my SSRI medication he simply pulles out a baggie of that sticky slighly yellow paste and from that moment on I basically was on Speed every day for about 2 months again. i did lines for breakfast, for after-work, i licked paste from my iphone on a trade school toilet. I consulted drug counseling and mostly managed through sport and yoga to pull through, or so I thought: but I was just coping. Through friends I was able to get a constant flow of perscription methylphenitad, ritalin, vyvanse with such regularity that I found myself in a position where I unironically thought I was "cured" because I was taking MEDICINE and not dirty eurospeed. Anyways, I have found myself in the deep trenches again for the last few weeks and this weekend I called an ambulance because I actually thought I was dying from Speed.

This is Day 1, and I am going in RAW. No weed, nicotine, caffeine, obviously no party drugs and no more benzos and opiates, NOTHING. And most importantly: no more STIMULANTS.

I am currently in the last weeks of my training to be a retail assistant, have reconnected with my counselor and will be in stationary rehab in a few weeks. I feel so liberated, I don't know why, but I am so looking forward to not doing drugs anymore