u/TagetCheeeks

I am only 17 years old and I really need some advice. Before I even knew I had ADHD, I just assumed I was dumb. I could only focus and genuinely enjoy certain things that stimulated my mind. Basically just doing typical dumb shit with friends and playing video games. In my sophomore year, my sister gave me some adderall for fun and instead of being euphoric, I ended up completing an essay for school early and then after I was still interested in the topic and just researched it for a few hours. I started stealing it from my sister after that and for the next 9-10 months I abused it daily taking 90-120 mgs a day. Shit I don’t even think it was real adderall there was probably other stuff mixed in. Anyways basically after 10 months my body just couldn’t handle it and I forced myself to quit. I returned back to how I use to feel in a few weeks. I was so depressed because now that I knew how it felt to focus on a task, going back to using nothing made me feel trapped.

Anyways after that I didn’t touch anything from October 2025 to january. I never told my parents about me abusing adderall. After that I couldn’t handle being on nothing. My grades dropped again fast. I started self medicating again with insane amounts of caffeine and nicotine. I would have like 2-3 8mg nicotine pouches in my mouth every class, and I bought 2-3 bang energy drinks before school and drank them throughout the day. Despite all of this, I was always exhausted by the end of the day and my sleep was never affected. A few more months later during the start of summer, I finally convinced my parents to let me get tested for ADHD. I got diagnosed and finally could get prescribed medication. For some reason, my mom didn’t want me to be on stimulants, so I’ve been on quelbree since June. It hasn’t had the slightest effect on me at all. I’m at my limit bro. Everyday I fight the urge to grab adderall from my sisters room and start using it again. I don’t even care about feeling happy, I just want to make focusing on a task possible for me :/

Sorry for writing so much and the bad grammar. I was emotional while typing so I didn’t even notice.

I’m a beginner who has been drawing for a few weeks and was wondering what I should focus on to improve on drawing poses. Basically what I’ve been doing is just looking at a reference for a minute or two, and then do my best to get the right shapes. My mirror is right in front of me so If I am confused on drawing a limb at a certain angle I just do the pose in the mirror. This method might sound pretty weird but for some reason I CANNOT draw at all when keeping a reference on my screen. It just throws me off because I keep seeing so many minor errors and it just makes me frustrated.

I skipped the hands cause I’m not really sure how to approach drawing them yet. I don’t want to over complicate and work on too many things at once.

Can’t imagine being motivated and happy ever again :/

Advice on improving drawing poses?