Randomly found this sub, realized I'm 4 years clean.
I'm happy stimulant use got off my mind enough that I can kind of forget it happened.
"a few times a year" evolved into daily use, I kept up the daily use for about 8 months, and that was awful street speed that was most probably meth. I also added coke in the mix most of the time. Fully hid it from my entourage.
Luckily I kept my life together and moved somewhere I didn't know any plugs, and had the sense to not search for it. It took more than a year until I felt somewhat normal. I was convinced I had broken my brain for a while. But time went on and now I almost never think about it.
This made me realize I'm actually proud of myself for being able to kick it. I tend to have low self-esteem, that's part of what makes using so attractive to me, but this I can actually be proud of. It's a bit ironic because thinking on it, I'm not proud of the person I was back then, so I guess there was a bit of character growth there. I don't just not need it, I don't enjoy the idea of it.
Thanks for reading and good luck to anybody who's having trouble with it.