27 weeks pregnant and separated. Any advice is welcomed
My husband(35M) and I(32F) have been separated for about 4 days now. This has been building and building since we got together. We are expecting a baby girl soon. And, I just don’t know how to move forward, if that’s possible. We’ve spent most of our relationship physically apart because of the military. However, we would keep in contact all throughout the day. Since we’ve been together, there’s been a lot of emotional abuse towards me, secrecy and a lack of transparency, double standard and hypocrisy, addiction to porn, yugioh cards, and an obsession to build a following on social media. I’m constantly being forced to be reminded of my past mistakes in the marriage.
I finally told my husband I am done and don’t want him around anymore. Some days I feel emotionally strong but others, like today. I question if the relationship is even salvageable. I think about all the effort my husband puts towards his YuGiOh cards and how much he tries to build this following so he can have a “trading card business” but I just find myself jealous and almost disgusted by this type of behavior. YuGiOh cards just seem like a money grab scheme to get people to buy and gamble they hit the jackpot for a big ticketed card. I don’t trust his decision making at all especially with a child on the way. He’s impulsive and has never shown even an ounce of enthusiasm for our child the way he shows it towards his stupid card collection. I don’t want to be with a man that cares more about social media and cards than he does his own family and my fear is that he will ruin us financially chasing a dream that seems slim to acquire.
He has another child from a previous relationship that he doesn’t see. Since we’ve been together, he’s only ever spoken about his BM with negativity and all the horrible things she did to him. Something didn’t feel right about it so I found her socials and she looks like she’s doing well in life. I’m aware we can’t judge by what we see online but from what I know about her and from the little interaction I’ve had with her. She was very honest with me when I reached out and asked about her previous relationship with my husband. It was not good and only confirmed suspicions that he again, wasn’t telling me the whole truth. She seems to be doing very well for herself. And sometimes I wonder if she was the person my husband was in love with because it just kind of seems like he’s trying to compete with her. She has her own business, has a very loving boyfriend who adores her and my husband’s child. I’m aware that speaking to her behind my husband back wasn’t right but at the time I was not doing well mentally and emotionally. There was a lot name calling, death wishes on me and my baby, a lot threats being made towards me and I just got out of the hospital for suicidal thoughts. It was an act of desperation but I shouldn’t have done it.
I also don’t trust him around other women. He’s had a past where he’s been unfaithful to other women. I found a lot of half naked women he followed on various social media accounts and he has like 6 different IG accounts and that alone has never sat well with me. I told him if he was going to be dating and talking with other women while we’ve been separated that we could just move forward with the divorce because I don’t want to deal with another woman being involved with a child on the way.
I’m trying to process everything and it feels overwhelming some days. Today is one of those days because I genuinely don’t know if I want to work it out. I believe I deserve so much better than this. I want a man who wants to be a husband and a father. He presented himself to be someone entirely different while we were dating and things changed once we got married.