u/ChipmunkEffective352

i really liked him, and he mentioned at one point that he might be attracted to NB people. i thought hey that’s me. and i thought like, “hey he said that specifically to me, there must be a reason.”

general content warning btw

i think im still excluded from all that. like i don’t know. this is the worst ive felt in a long time. i’m half glad all the sharp implements in my home are too dull. also i wouldn’t be able to hide it all too well since it’s the summer right now. but at the same time i don’t know how else to deal. he was like one of two friends i had.

i can’t even buy alcohol yet to drown my sorrows. only reason i haven’t attempted yet is i don’t even have good tools for that.

i really liked him. i wish id been born a girl so that maybe he would’ve given me a chance.

so yep!!! birthday went as shitty as you’d think!!! so i’m back on that vainall ectract shit… like, 7-ish ounces?? who knows!!! i didn’t measure it. i just eyeballed it. i was aiming to get drunk enough id feel less miserable for a bit. i didnt even get a fuckin party or something cause you know my friends forgot until i reminded them, so obviously i didn’t get any presents or anything. fuck my baka life!!$ send post!!!

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

no spoiler warnings on bad stuff so look out!!

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19 years old!! happy birthday to me!! did any of my “friends” remember or say shit?? nope!! but cutting myself would be a hassle since my family would DEF notice. so what do we do!! i just had like, roughly a shot of vanilla extract?? who knows! i didn’t measure. i just hope it’s enough to get me decently buzzed, it was like 35% abv, and i don’t know exactly how much that is cause this is my first time drinking anything alcoholic!! burned like shit on the way down, tasted awful, almost threw up, so it better be worth it and it better have been enough!! if not… i mean i’ve got a whole bottle that NO ONE uses cause i’m the only one who likes baking and i lost motivation to do anything anyway!!! so i might as well!!!! use it!!!!

fuck my baka life