u/Choice_Judgment2810

I'm male, early 50. Partner is 5 years older. Been together 25 years and have a child at university.

I can't help thinking that we were never really compatible. At the start we were both lonely and so got together. First few years were good and we were both busy building careers and being parents. We never got married as neither of us was bothered by that. However, our backgrounds are very different and so are our values. She's very much live for today, party, have fun, sees home just as a base. I've never been into partying and am definitely not now I'm in my 50's. I like to plan, pay into a pension, like to do things that she sees as boring, country pubs, walks, reading etc etc. I like to have a nice home, but she's not bothered about it making it a home (we live in a nice area).

Now we're older, neither of us pretends to be like the other and our differences are exposed. I think we've been pretending for a few years. I'm unhappy with it (and I think she is too) but I've been battered mentally by a few things recently and I really can't face going through a separation, selling the house etc. Easy option is to put up with it.

I guess I should talk to her. But another problem is that she sees any difference of opinion as an argument, which makes things difficult.