I recently received my diagnosis report, and i was in shock
I received my diagnosis a few days ago: severe ASD + ADHD (according to the report), OCD, and GAD. My whole life I felt different and relied on social masking, especially because I’ve always known I was a lesbian. I never had validation from an adult growing up. As a child, I played alone, and I grew up in a dysfunctional home where my parents physically fought almost every day, or I was beaten by my mother and called “retarded” for being different.
It’s hard discovering all of this at 40 years old. Your entire life flashes before your eyes, all the times you suffered and pushed yourself to seem socially acceptable, all the times you couldn’t finish or even do the things you loved, and spending years believing you were in love with someone when it was actually just rumination caused by my disorders.
It feels like part of my life was a lie, and now I’m starting over from scratch. It’s been difficult to accept, but fortunately, today I have a good job that I achieved through my own efforts, and I have an amazing wife who, even though she’s neurotypical, respects me, understands me, and helps me understand my own feelings. Even so, the shock was inevitable. All I want now is to be myself and say fuck society’s prejudice and my fears. I’m not that scared child anymore, and no matter how afraid I feel right now, I’m going to keep moving forward and start a new life.
I wish the same for everyone here who is suffering from these or other disorders. Stay strong, everyone! PS: I apologize, english is not my native language.