Depressed, disconnected and feeling like crawling into a hole and hiding from the world
a few weeks ago me and my partner had a major fight (our first) and in that argument they said things about that have left me feeling like a grenade exploded in front of my face. I was verbally attacked personally(called self absorbed, self centered and to check in with my friends to see just how selfish/self centered I am), I was verbally attacked professionally (was told they wonder how I am able to do my job with my clients)and most of all I was attacked by someone i love. Now I did not engage in a response because frankly I was and still am shell shocked.
Now I am finding myself in period of feeling disconnected from everything and everyone. I get up go to work, come back, eat and go to bed and watch YouTube until I fall asleep. I don’t find things fun or joyful. I do things because that’s what I’ve done so I’ll keep doing them.
I feel an incredible urge to just simply drop everything and just hide myself, withdraw from the world. it was my partners bday and I didn’t plan anything. do I care? yes, but at the same time I feel so unconnected that not doing so is just another everyday thing that I have no connection to, no reaction to, no inkling or motivation to react to the fact I did nothing. and I feel like this about a lot of things.
i feel like a log of wood mindlessly floating in an empty ocean.
so yeah that’s where I am.