'27 F' here in a relationship with '25M', How do you deal with arranged marriage pressure when you’re already in a serious relationship that isn’t “family-ready” yet?
My parents have started casually asking if there’s “someone” or if they should start looking for matches once my degree ends. They’re not forcing me, but it comes up every time I go home. I keep telling them I want to finish my degree and get a job first.
The thing is… I do have someone.
We’ve been together for a year, long distance, and we’re serious. His degree finishes this year too, he’s in a reputed college, and we’ve talked about marriage before. He wasn’t avoidant about future talks exactly, it was more that he was still figuring out his career and wasn’t sure how quickly he’d realistically be able to tell his family about us. He’s also 2 years younger than me, so I think that affects how urgently he thinks about these things too.
He’s told me that when the time comes, he’ll obviously tell his family about us. And I do know he loves me. He shows it too, and honestly even in long distance he’s always tried his best for me.
But most future conversations are still initiated by me. I even told him I’d like him to bring it up more sometimes, and while he has improved, it honestly feels like just a 1% difference. I think a big part of it is that he’s more of a “we’ll handle it when the time comes” person, while I’m someone who wants at least a rough plan already — especially because family pressure has started from my side.
I don’t want to pressure him because there’s still time and both of us are focused on building our careers first. But at the same time, every conversation with my parents makes me panic internally because this is an intercultural relationship and I know they probably won’t be thrilled.
Did anyone else go through this phase where the relationship is serious but not yet “family-ready”? How did you stop overthinking it?