Trying to find a win-win solution for disagreement on names in the family
AsSelamAleykum. This get's a little complex so please bear with me, but I'll keep it short.
My wife and I are expecting a child (not our first), and she's picked a name that's also my elder cousin A's child's name.
A different cousin B just had a child, and his wife wanted to name their newborn with my first child's name. I had said it's okay to my mom, and she let them know I'm okay with repeating the name.
However my cousin disagreed and his parents (my aunt and uncle) disagreed and basically ruled that we shouldn't repeat names in the family (all people mentioned so far are on from my mom's family - my immediate cousins). His wife got really upset, (they already have a shaky relationship) but in the end she had to relent. I was hoping they'd ask me directly for permission but they never did, I would've said it's okay.
Now I had planned to ask my cousin A for her permission, but now I can't. Because cousin B didn't repeat the name and it will put him, my uncle and aunt in a bad place if I do it - let alone make my cousin's marriage even more rocky. My mom and sister are telling me to just think of a different name.
I tried approaching my wife with a list of other names but she rejected them all and got pretty upset too. She said she had so many preferred names for our first child but gave up because they're all taken by my cousins. And that she doesn't want to sacrifice her favorite name again.
To add another layer on top - my sibling (who recently got married) also wants to name their future child the same name my wife does. And my mom was like well it's still a few years from now, but yours is within months of this situation with Cousin B.
So now I either just proceed with getting cousin A's permission and please my wife, while upsetting my mom, siblings, uncle, aunt - etc. adding fuel to cousin B's family fire.
Or I force my wife to let go and think of another name. Note that she chose the names for our first 2 children - she feels as the mother it's her right and I agree. I just ask her not to repeat names. But it would really upset her and leave a permanent emotional scar (this child is our last).
Any creative solutions? Is a win-win possible?