Please make dua for me
Salam brothers and sisters, I’m currently experiencing extreme difficulty when it comes to finding a spouse for marriage. I’m in an arranged marriage process where I’m so unsure if I want to proceed with the guy while he is set on me and his family is moving at a pace I’m so unsure by
I have only spoken to him 3 times and they’ve taken taht as a sign of possibly saying yes and things settling to marriage when in reality I’m just trying to understand him?? It doesn’t help that I don’t find him attractive (not a a bad looking person but i just don’t find him). He does seem kind and many interests of his own. He is a revert to a shia Islam as well as his family. They’re nice people but a little too loving and openly affectionate for my liking (they’ve expressed wanting me as a daughter in law with just the first meeting, which makes me feel at alarm).
The guy also told me after first meeting that he thinks I might be the one, and while I know that some men find out instantly, i feel most don’t say it until things are locked down. There are other things like timeline, living situation in the first year that are a bit iffy to me. Everyone I’ve spoken to however, has advised me that despite all of those things, the main thing ro consider is if I like the guy. And well I’m not sure about him. On paper he is great, but I don’t feel a pull to him. I guess banter doesn’t grow so quickly in settings like this (or if it has I’m just not keen for it)
But what makes me doubt is that I don’t want to say no to someone who could be good for me. I don’t want to sabotage things for myself. What doesn’t help are my parents. They’re more concerned with the families sentiments and not dragging them along which I’m not trying to, I’ve only spoken to the guy three times, mostly on his initiation. It was all for assessing. I don’t know why they’re under the impression tha I’m close to saying yes. My mum has been saying that if I’m gonna say no just say no now. But tbh I’m not sure as I’ve described above.
My parents are furious at me with my dad saying hurtful things like “you will struggle with this (marriage)”. It doesn’t help because for so long I’ve doubted I’ll find the one for me and be in love and happily married.
I’m just scared and confused
Thank you