u/Civil-Elderberry-247

I lost my sweet boy Wednesday and it’s so painful seeing his bed without him in it and his favorite toys. I feel like I’m in between a rock and a hard place. I dont want to erase the memory of his presence in our home but I can’t stop crying when I walk by his beds throughout the house. I have another dog and I had to put my rainbow dog’s bowl away because it was too hard seeing him eat alone.

Currently writing this with eyes full of tears. My best friend of 11 years crossed the rainbow bridge last night. He was 12 years old and I got him off of a Craigslist ad when he was just 1. We had so many great memories together.

Lately he had been refusing to eat or eating very little. I didn’t think anything of it because he’s been a picky eater in the past. I’d just buy him a new brand of food and he’d eat it. He also was struggling with arthritis in his back legs so when my wife told me yesterday afternoon that he was having a rough day, I again didn’t think much of it and thought he’d be back to his old self after some rest and pain meds. Well last night he started struggling to breathe, his stomach was bloated and hard and his gums went pale. I took him to the emergency vet and after an ultrasound they told me he had a cancerous mass in his stomach that had likely ruptured and the prognosis wasn’t good. We made the decision to say our goodbyes. I had no idea he had cancer. I had just taken him for his yearly exam a couple of months ago and everything came back clean. He was 12 years old but I felt like we had plenty of time left. I feel so robbed and feel that this is unfair. I made sure to give him kisses and love every day while he was here and in his final moments. Did he know that he was loved by me so much?

EDIT: thank you all SO much for your kind words and encouragement. I’ve finally stopped crying for now at least but I’m still devastated. I’m trying to remind myself that I gave him such a great life full of love and that’s all he really wanted.