Hitting 1 Month Tomorrow
Not sure why I feel the need to post this but I’m feeling compelled and need all the juju I can get.
Last year I dabbled in AA for the wife, not for me, and it didn’t last. On my birthday this year I decided to push my even keel drinking a little to see if she’d notice, we were already doing so well (not). Anyways, things happened and tomorrow is a pretty big day. I get a chip and divorce papers.
These last 30 days have been some of the most soul searching, crushing and enlightening that I’ve had in a long time. I’ve been so blessed, have made some changes a little too late, and have felt so much support from the AA community in my rural area. I couldn’t imagine what this month would’ve been if I didn’t get that gut punch that awakened me again.
Life sucks right now, but it’s also so beautiful. There’s so much to process still, but I get to do it soba’.
My sponsor said something to me last night that really put things in perspective. It sucked to hear but the words also gave me clearer direction to never put myself in such a position ever again. “You gave up your power to drinking, your power to choose and make decisions for your life and gave it to others who now get to decide for you.”
Tomorrow’s going to suck, but also great.