u/Clarityinc

In this world, there are certain laws that dictate our everyday lives. One of them is the Law of Attraction. An understudied law that you can use to get the things your heart desires.

Before diving deeper into this, let's talk about cats and their correlation to this law. If you've ever owned a cat or been around a domesticated cat, that isn't subjected to trauma. You can notice a pattern in which their behavior is very unorthodox.

If you pick up a cat and lay it on your lap without it having come to you. It will most likely get up and walk away from you after you decide to let it go. Anything you force upon it, you will get the exact opposite from it. If you want the cat not to come close to you, it randomly decides that now I shall be all over this human.

The law of attraction works in a similar way, when you run after anything. It usually runs away from you. Whether it be girls, money, fame, respect, recognition, humor, friendships, "running after something" in this case doesn't mean don't try at all. It means that you need said outcome to occur. The more you need it, the harder it gets to achieve. Very similar to the Binary concept.

So next time you're out on a first date, trying to ask a girl out, trying to get a job, establish a connection with a third party, start a business, essentially next time you decide to have an outcome occur. Remember not to chase but to attract it.

"Don't waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come,"~ Mario Quintana.

A French sociologist named Pierre Bourdieu spent his entire life mapping out this exact concept. The main gist of it is the ingrained habits, dispositions, and skills that develop in our unconscious mind by being in specific environments.

For sport, this can be a lever you can pull in networking. For example. Rather than talking to a Hedge fund manager about his money and asking him for advice, appealing to him in a manner of inferiority. You could discuss his golf game. Which clubhouse he prefers, what his weak points are in his chipping game, How far his 7 iron goes, etc. In a manner where you seem to him as an equal rather than an inferior looking for a handout.

Ingraining yourself in sports that have high net worth players, such as golf, padel, polo, and tennis. You can open bigger doors for yourself than you realise. Since in those environments, the people who you'd like to network with aren't actively trying to put on a face, they just are.

In this case, being in environments where the rich belong, you can put on a subtle mask of belonging as well and build valuable relationships. Team up with them, help them improve in their game, with genuine energy. No linkedin professional nonsense. Just treat them like a human and watch how they open up to you. Suddenly you now have access to someone who people spend months trying to have a meeting with.

In sports if you want to truly get as good as possible, it's important that you always play in competitive environments above your level. Every sport in its essence, is a game of margin of error. The lower that margin is in a competitive environment, the more light you can shine on your weaknesses.

To the layman, this might not sound fun at all. But it trains a person to obtain a "killer mentality" that transcends your ability to perform not only in sports but in this game of life. A winner isn't amused at his victories, for in his mind. Victory is certain. A winner is, in fact amused at his faults, his losses. Cause that's where one can learn.

When you want to actively improve, intentionality is key. This helps in actively learning through your losses. In a competitive environment, learn to stop whenever an error is made. Mimic the action physically that you could've done to succeed in the action you failed in. Mentally understand that next time the said action will lead to success. Then, let the fault go. On to the next.

Diamonds are made under pressure, but what do you feel when you hear the word "pressure". Doesn't sound like a comfortable word at all, sounds pretty negative. Before you begin to improve you must rewire the concept of pressure mentally. Otherwise competitve environments will end up making you feel "exhausted" or "tired". Why does that happen? Why do we feel tired when we lose but feel energised when we win?

It's because most of us just want to win. That's not how you actually improve. Because in that sense, the person who just wants victory ends up squeezing the cow dry by only playing in environments where victory is perceived as more likely. The real loser is the person who only plays where he knows he can win.

Every loss empowers you, and every victory weakens you. If you are in a club, sports team, league of sorts and you win more than the rest. Then you are in the wrong enviroment. Punch above, get smacked in face with brutal losses with the understanding that you're not playing "bad" you're just getting better.

A moth can only fly because of the struggle it faces when exiting its cocoon. You can only be great when you embrace the lows harder and let go of the highs. That's how you conquer.

Timothy Gallwey published a book in 1974 about this concept. It carries a significant formula to sport success and life success. His understanding is that when the game of tennis has an outcome attached to it that must be fulfilled, let's say in this case you're playing in Roland Garros and its a semi final, you need to win to get to the final. Your happiness depends on winning that final.

All of a sudden, the game feels a whole lot less fun and a lot more demanding. This is concept of attaching your happiness to a goal being a very shitty deal for ones self.
At one point we all have made a personal goal for ourselves. That once we reach that goal, we'll be happy with ourselves. If I hit 10k a month, I'll be happy. If I get this car, I'll be happy. Etc.

What you're doing in that sort of self deal is essentially attaching your happiness to the end goal. What ends up happening is that the process itself becomes a whole lot less interesting now. Which causes the infamous "informed despair" phase in any learning curve. Which causes a majority percentage to quit the goal entirely.
What the people with strong willpower do in this "informed despair" phase is construct routines, and revolve their whole world around this goal of working harder. The whole time the other guy who just does the work for the love of the game ends up working way more anyway. You don't need 5am cold plunges and morning runs to become successful. You just need to fall in love with the game.

So next time you want to achieve something, instead of constructing a sphere of a disciplinary Marine Corps trail to success. Fall in love with it. With genuine intention. Don't attach your happiness to the end product. Personal experience, It never actually makes you happy.