Found out he has cheated on me for several years
Hi. I honestly don’t even know why I’m posting this. I think I just need someone to talk to because I feel completely alone.
I’m 29 and I just found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me for around 3 years. Not just a one-time mistake. It was ongoing, hidden from me the entire time, and I only found out because I saw screenshots and evidence. Before that, he lied to my face and denied things.
What hurts even more is that while this was happening, he still talked to me about marriage, children, and our future together. I thought this was the person I would build my life with. I moved far away from my family for him and I feel so lonely.
I found posts from him online in forums where he interacted with other women sexually and apparently even met some of them. He made his profile on these forums 1 month after my mom died and I was completely devastated. Seeing strangers know about this part of his life while I had no idea made me feel humiliated and stupid.
Now he says the relationship was “almost perfect” except that we didn’t have enough sex and that this is why things happened. I know our relationship had problems and maybe I wasn’t always emotionally or sexually available, but I cannot understand how that justifies lying to me for years.
The worst part is that I feel like this destroyed my entire self-worth. I already struggled with feeling unattractive and unwanted before this relationship, and now I genuinely feel like no one will ever love me again. He was basically the only person who ever chose me, and now I feel replaced and worthless.
I always wanted children and a family. That was my biggest dream in life. And now at 29 I feel like I lost my only chance. Part of me wants to stay even after all of this just because I’m terrified of ending up alone forever. But I know I can‘t do that.
I don’t know if I’m being pathetic. I don’t know if I should forgive him. I don’t know if I’m reacting normally. I can barely think, barely sleep.
I think I just need honest advice or support from people who survived something like this, because right now I genuinely feel like my life is over.