How can I ask her to move out?
My roommate (f22) and I (f21) have been living together since 2023. We knew each other since elementary school and reconnected after I graduated. We decided to move cities together where I was going to university and she wanted to go to school as well. Things were great at first but recently we’ve been having a lot of issues, and it’s just gotten to the point that I want her gone.
I care about her a lot, but she’s honestly been so cold and rude to me for a while now, and she doesn’t keep up with any of the cleaning in our shared spaces. I’ve tried to talk to her about her coldness towards me before but it just ended with her crying, sending me miles of texts the next day, and me feeling awful.
I need to talk to her again, probably tomorrow because we both work for the rest of the week. I’d like to try to remedy the issues instead of asking her outright to move out, but I don’t know if she will even be willing to have this conversation. It’s gotten to the point that I’m walking on eggshells and I feel uncomfortable in my own home.
My dad owns our apartment, and I’ve been talking to him a lot about our options, but we really just can’t evict her without proper clause, and he wants me to talk to her as soon as possible because she would have to sign a form saying she would be out in three months, and if we waited past the end of August for her to sign we might risk having her stay until after new years.
We also got a cat together, which was a dumb mistake I know. Only my name is on the adoption forms and licence, but I don’t trust my roommate to not just take her. I’m going to offer her compensation for the cat with the stipulation that she will move out, but if she disagrees I don’t know what to do because I can’t hide the cat at my parents and pet boarding is expensive. I’d be more willing to negotiate custody if my roommate wasn’t just downright awful to me most of the time, and I’ve been the one paying for most of the cats expenses.
I’m considering sending her a message when I’m out tomorrow saying that I want to talk to give her time to prepare, because last time she was livid that I ambushed her, but I’m not sure this is a good idea.
If anyone has advice, please share. I’ve been getting a solid four hours of sleep nightly because I’ve been so stressed about this.