Family vacation processing
I’m wrapping up a family vacation with my mom (64), my brothers and their families. I have a three year old daughter, and recently moved to Canada from the US. Prior to moving, my mom was as really guilting us and my daughter about not being able to have a relationship since we were moving away. Although, even when we lived an hour away she rarely saw us, and generally only did so when we came to her. So my brothers and I planned this trip to give her opportunity to see all of us together and have all the grandkids in one place. She does the performative “loves being nana” thing, but rarely delivers. We thought this would be a way of giving her what she proclaimed she wanted more than anything.
The entire trip she seemed angry at all
of us and seemed massively inconvenienced to be there. She spent maybe 15 minutes interacting with my daughter over four days. She left activities to go back to her cabin to sit on the porch with her husband (not our dad) and her dogs. My expectations were fairly low, but disappointed doesn’t even cover it. I am now really grappling with where to go from here. I’m pretty much no contact with my dad, and thinking of moving that way here too. I told my husband I really kind of feel emotionally orphaned at this point.
So I guess I’m just curious to see other people’s experiences, and if anyone has had a situation like the vacation scenario where the grandparent shows up, but never shows up and seems almost resentful to be bothered?