my child is almost 5 and has never been to the park with grandma or grandpa. this breaks my heart for multiple reasons 💔 anyone else?
My in laws (3 hours away by car) and my dad (5 hours away by car) I feel like always expect us to pack up everything for our 4 month old and our dog in our small car with a baby who hates long drives every month. I don’t see why they can’t just visit and have that be the expectation instead of us having to do all the work. Plus my husband works most weekends so we have to stress about packing and traveling on a weekend he’s off when I just wish we could enjoy a weekend at home with them coming here. They both used to live here but moved years ago. Also, it’s very inconvenient that they don’t have any baby items that would save the space in our small car (like a crib, high chair, toys, clothes, etc) and they just expect us to pack the whole house and dog when we visit and it’s frustrating. Just wondering what advice yall would give me if this is normal or not
Hey — has anyone had their own parents be like, " Look, we have our own life to live too when you say about visiting regularly? And when they visit, it's on their terms, they stay for a short time, and look at their watch before leaving?
My husband and I have been raising our grandson, Tyler, for the last two years. When Tyler was nine, his father cheated on our daughter and they divorced. Both his mother and father quickly remarried and started brand new families with new spouses and half-siblings. Because of the chaos, my husband and I stepped in to provide Tyler with a stable home.
I need to clarify that his parents did not abandon him in a legal or physical sense. They try very hard to be in his life. They show up for him, pay for things, and try to spend one-on-one time with him. But Tyler completely hates them for destroying his original family and replacing him. He refuses to acknowledge them as mom and dad, calling them strictly by their first names. He also harbors an intense hatred for his stepparents and half-siblings.
Normally, Tyler is a good student, polite to his teachers, honest, and loyal. But beneath that polite exterior is a terrifying amount of rage and resentment. When his parents try to spend time with him, his short temper explodes. He back-talks them using slurs, and it has even turned physical—he recently hit his father and pushed his mother.
Lately, his anger has turned into something much colder and more frightening. Tyler has stopped crying, and he has stopped laughing. He seems completely emotionally detached, except when it comes to one thing: he wants revenge.
Recently, he asked his parents a question that made them incredibly uncomfortable. He looked them dead in the eye and asked, "Who is paying for your divorce? You two, or me?" He has asked my husband and me the exact same question. We just sit there in silence because we don't have an answer for him. In his mind, he is paying the ultimate price for their choices.
To make matters worse, his parents are funding his current therapy. Because they pay the bills, the therapist keeps pushing Tyler to "forgive" his parents, calling them "flawed and imperfect." Tyler feels completely betrayed by this. He thinks the therapist is bought and paid for, and it has only fueled his desire for revenge.
This situation is now severely affecting his studies. My husband and I are 65 years old. We love him so much, but we are exhausted and terrified. Tyler is completely shutting down his humanity, choosing to feel nothing but a desire to see his parents suffer.
How do we help a 15-year-old boy who has completely hardened his heart? How do we answer a question like the one he asked? Please, we need guidance on how to find him a therapist who will actually hear his pain instead of protecting his parents.
**Lap sitting:** We're visiting them in a state for summer vacation. All is well. But, my grandmother cannot accept that my 2 year old sister is walking now and isn't going to sit in her lap all the time. She tries to stop her from getting off the coucand wonders why she gets mad and starts crying.
**Spoiling:** She spoils my baby sister. Understandable. But she takes it too far. Cartoons in the dark at 5AM(What she's doing right now as I type), cartoons while eating (Which makes her distracted and less likely to eat), and cartoons all day everyday. She'll stay up all night because of the constant stimulation. She pushes us if we're in the way. She screams when I take her outside to burn off enegry. And it is very frustrating. I have tried saying "Grandma she doesn't need TV" or "It's too early" yet she says "You can't decide what she needs" and turns it on anyways. She's mainly been drinking bottles and lying on the floor when YOU have been spoiling her.
**Not listening to my suggestions on caring for the 2 year old:** Every suggestion I make goes unanswered which makes me so mad. She's just not listening. What do I do because we go home end if next week due tue me and my 2 older siblings have school.
My MIL is such a deadbeat and I have to get it off my chest. She begged and begged for grandkids and now she has one its been all empty unmet promises of helping us out. She did show up the week of delivery but it was mainly for photos and holding the baby for a week. I need some rational for this epidemic of absent grandparents so my mind can be at peace.
Kids are a bit older now 9, 8, 4 and a baby.
My in laws have both remarried and have their own children with new partners.
When we lived local to them they rarely visited us. How we live further away.
Something I brought up was that I wanted them to be more involved. I pretty much begged them when my kids were small. They don’t reach out ever and now that they are older she wants to ask for photos, or to FaceTime my kids.
Am I in the wrong for wanting to set that boundary and say that opportunity has passed? Or am I being selfish? Husband doesn’t really talk to his parents much either but that’s a longer story. Husband is supportive of my decision.
Do I reply to her messages asking to FaceTime my kids when my kids don’t even know her at all? Why now?
Thanks everyone.
As my father lay dying in his hospital bed, his mother angrily blamed me for him getting cancer. He died a few days later.
She then treated me really badly at his funeral.
She died the year after and I didn't go to her funeral.
I don't regret this but am still angry about it all.
Watching my parents be grandparents vs. my in laws be grandparents is NIGHT AND DAY.
My in-laws live a whopping 11 minutes from us (I just mapped it) and have only seen my children ONCE in the past 4 months. Meanwhile my parents live thousands of miles away and have visited twice in that period for an extended amount of time. My parents also FaceTime them daily because DUH they miss them and want to see them and learn everything about them.
When my in laws have been around my kids (mostly my toddler because they’ve only met my newborn once LOL) they’re not interactive (don’t get on the floor to play, don’t try and engage with toys, don’t offer to go outside to play, don’t try and read books, etc.) they just sit on the couch and try to talk to him or ask us what he’s been doing, blah blah blah.
They have watched my first child multiple times and it was mostly fine but at this toddler stage I WOULD NEVER. They would turn the fucking tv on and try to get him to watch so he’s not running around doing normal toddler shit. I am not anti screen time but wtf interact with him more?? Learn what his favorite things are??
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years so I know them pretty well but knowing them as grandparents has been so eye opening. It’s also been even more heartbreaking to listen to my husband talk about the way they were absent parents when he was growing up. Not going to his little league games? Not going to his track meets in middle school and high school? Honestly not really giving af about him and his brother from what I can tell. He grew up in a HCOL area, affluent neighborhood and his parents had the time). I guess they were just not interested.
I don’t even know wtf I’m trying to accomplish here but I’m just fucking heartbroken. My kids deserve so much more from them and it’s so sad that they’re pretty much strangers and will unfortunately just be like this for the rest of their lives I guess.
I’m wrapping up a family vacation with my mom (64), my brothers and their families. I have a three year old daughter, and recently moved to Canada from the US. Prior to moving, my mom was as really guilting us and my daughter about not being able to have a relationship since we were moving away. Although, even when we lived an hour away she rarely saw us, and generally only did so when we came to her. So my brothers and I planned this trip to give her opportunity to see all of us together and have all the grandkids in one place. She does the performative “loves being nana” thing, but rarely delivers. We thought this would be a way of giving her what she proclaimed she wanted more than anything.
The entire trip she seemed angry at all
of us and seemed massively inconvenienced to be there. She spent maybe 15 minutes interacting with my daughter over four days. She left activities to go back to her cabin to sit on the porch with her husband (not our dad) and her dogs. My expectations were fairly low, but disappointed doesn’t even cover it. I am now really grappling with where to go from here. I’m pretty much no contact with my dad, and thinking of moving that way here too. I told my husband I really kind of feel emotionally orphaned at this point.
So I guess I’m just curious to see other people’s experiences, and if anyone has had a situation like the vacation scenario where the grandparent shows up, but never shows up and seems almost resentful to be bothered?
I've been unexpectedly admitted to hospital for several days with an infection. I was quite unwell when I was admitted, very high fever, rigors and a high heart rate, and needed IV antibiotics and fluids. I'm doing better now, but I'm still an inpatient and won't be discharged today, likely not until early to mid next week.
My children happened to be staying with my parents for a few days when I became ill. We had originally planned to collect them, but because I'm in hospital, my parents are bringing them home instead.
They're travelling a fairly significant distance to do this. The plan is to hand the children over to my husband and then take the next available public transport home.
What's bothering me is that they're not planning to visit me.
The hospital is a relatively short journey from where they're dropping off the children, and there are regular services home, so they could come see me and simply travel home a little later. They know I'm staying in hospital.
I don't need them to bring me anything and I'm not expecting some lengthy bedside vigil. I just assumed that if your adult child was unexpectedly admitted to hospital and you were going to be nearby anyway, you'd want to see them.
I haven't asked them to visit. I could, but that's almost beside the point for me. I don't particularly need a visitor. I'm hurt that my parents apparently don't independently want to come and see me. If one of my own children were in hospital, I can't imagine being nearby and just going home without seeing them.
At the same time, they're doing us a favour by bringing the children home, so I'm wondering if I'm overlooking that and being unfair.
Would this hurt you, or am I expecting too much?
I’ve been progressively getting more and more frustration building towards boomer grandparents and basically just boomers in general. Figured I’d see how unreasonable the anger I’ve spiralled into is.
So to start why the fuck does a generation that won’t shut up about respect become the least respectful generation I’ve ever encountered? Their attitude of entitlement is absolutely insane and so undeserving. How can they demand access to their grandchildren without following boundaries or putting effort in? How is that logical? The things they say and do around the grandkids are so absurd (and often related to race, weight, ability, etc). And yet if you tell them off about the way the speak or act, even if it’s in an attempt to maintain boundaries they are shocked and “hurt”, still demanding access. Then they brag about their grandchild or share pics of their grandchild (against boundaries) as if they have anything to do with the child.
I just cannot figure out how a whole generation tends to act this way. How did they get this way and why do they think it’s okay?!
Im female, 42. Two kids aged 13 and 9. Live 10.000km away from my own parents and sending them money every month. My FIL lives 20min away and has a girlfriend since 7 years.all of them refused to help me with my kids even once a year.
I have not been away for 1 night, from my kids since they 2021. No date nights since 2021. Its 2026 now.
All of them are very, very good at making excuses, and ask why we dont visit anymore. They like to show the world that they are caring and present grandparents but it's US who do not visit. Yea yea.
I can write an 8 seasons drama about them, what they do and what they say. But im done being hurt for 13 years now. I quit them, ignore them a lot, not bothered by what they say, and feel less and less toward them. I just feel nothing.
in reddit I've seen so many hurt people in +/- same situation. Seriously, do move on. Make effort to move on. Dont worry about forgiving or whatever sht, just try to move on. Whenever u think about the issue and you get upset, just tell yourself: but i have moved on. You will feel better and better.
stop trying to fix it.
There is a gap between what we had wished for, and what the reality is. Acknowledge the gap, stop trying to close it, and just move on.
there are many many other things worth doing.
Relationships are TWO WAYS y'all.
I hope this reaches as many people as possible and help you to heal and move on.
peace.
My mom is the one person I truly trust to watch my toddler. .. not that she ever really does . She’s an emotionally immature parents with some narcissistic tendencies ( deff not a full narcissist ) today our conversation went like this
\- me reminding her to put in the calendar to come check on our dog one day while were away
\- snooty sigh “ all I did this summer was watch animals”… she checked in on my dog one time in May. And watched me sister and brothers cats once this summer .
\- my reply ( yes i know i pushed this conversation in a bad direction)…. Some grandparents watch their grandkids 5 days a week so this is a fairly easy ask
My mom “ well I feel bad for them, that’s not something we do in this family , your grandmother never watched you”… my grandma watched us often.. maybe not on a weekly basis but we did spend a lot of time with her 🥴…
Me - in total shock that’s something she’d even say out loud.
Mom “ maybe one day that’s what you can do for your grandchildren “
Me “” oh I will”….
End convo.
I just can’t fathom that she said this . Yes practically have to ask her to watch my toddler sometimes but not without her making me feel bad about it .
Sigh.. the one person you trust most with your baby but at the same time that one person wants nothing to do with being a grandparent or supporting her child .
My grandfather died tragically, and I'm searching for an app for my grandma, to be able to talk to him in his voice so it would be easier for her.
I tried some apps, but neither of them worked.
PLEASE PLEASE HELP🙏🏼🙏🏼🥺
I’ve always known my dad, 66, had some unrealistic views on body size. I gained weight with IVF/ getting older, and he has made comments in the past. He went as far as to tell me I looked chubby at my mother’s (his ex wife’s) funeral…one of the worst days of my life. I was 30 lbs overweight.
We just welcomed our beautiful baby girl in April. She was born 6 lbs 4 oz. A few days after she was born, he called to tell me how he didn’t believe she would ever get fat. He seemed to be so pleased with her current small size.
Now we’re at the 4 month mark and she’s weighing in at 15 lbs 6 oz. This puts her in the 75th percentile. His comments have ramped up. “Maybe she’ll go back down under the 50th percentile soon.” “You and Jon were both small babies.” Side note: we weren’t. Jon was 9 lbs at birth, and I gained a normal amount of weight for a breastfed baby. We were both on the smaller side as children, so maybe that’s what he’s thinking of? So far I’ve mainly sat in stunned silence. We’re talking about an infant. I have said, “I don’t think babies can be overweight.” To which he said, “oh yes they can.” What are we talking about?!
I also don’t appreciate the subtle digs at my own size. I’m 37 years old and just had a C-section. I’m not just going to look like I did at 23.
How should I respond to this? I want to shut it down but I also don’t want my dad to be out of the picture. I cannot have him give my baby girl a body image issue. He already did enough damage on me. I should note that he is terribly defensive when confronted.
My parents live about 20 minutes from me, and my inlaws live 6 hours away.
My mom and I butt heads the most. She wanted babies and small children but lost it when those children got older and started having opinions. My dad had no patience for small children and basically checked out mentally once we were old enough to fend for ourselves. He's easier to get along with because he did let my siblings and I become our own people. Anyway, I desperately wanted to escape from the age of 15 on and ending up packing all of my things abruptly two months shy of graduating college and eloping with my husband. We were planning to get married right after graduation so this was not a brash, reckless, irresponsible, or impulsive decision. We felt forced because we didn't want to live together without being married, but I absolutely could not spend even another hour living with my parents. I was hardly home as it was because I was in school AND working full time. This has been forgiven and we've all moved on, but I see my mom's need for control peek out every now and then especially now that I have two children. I know my parents loved us very much and I'm detailing our worst interactions in a sub meant for venting. I don't think they're horrible people. I think they're just very much products of their generation (the youngest boomers), and I don't think they'll ever change.
My parents had zero help. Besides their own childhood traumas possibly explaining why they are the way they are, there were no grandparents, babysitters, or outside help EVER. I know they were stressed and I watched them scramble more than once when emergencies happened. Knowing how hard everything is, my mom promised we'd never have it this bad. I want to say that I expect nothing from my parents. They raised 4 kids. They owe me nothing. The crux of my issue, which I'll describe in a moment, is that my mom OFFERS to help and then cancels last minute because she can't set healthy boundaries. I honestly can't even imagine my dad keeping two small children by himself. However, he has shown up to help with vehicle and home repairs when my husband has to work late. That was worth more than childcare when the previous homeowner did wiring wrong and our house could have burned down. I do appreciate my dad doing things he can.
I need to go to a doctor's appointment that I can't take children to. I mention this in passing. My mom offers to help either at her house or mine. I accept but let my husband know he should probably be on standby. I offer food, gas money, babysitting money, whatever as payment for my mom helping. She tells me not to worry about it. The day before my appointment, she cancels because of a health issue, the dog kept her up all night, she has too much going on, etc.
Now don't get me wrong. I understand life happens and things come up. But she KNEW about some issues when she offered to help. She knew she had an illness, didn't mention it, and then canceled last minute because she thought she'd be better. The little dogs are the bane of my existence. Both parents complain that the dogs will keep them up. Nothing is done to train them or enforce consequences. Does it make sense what I'm trying to say? My mom knows there are limitations and she won't say no. She'd rather say yes and thinks it's fine to leave me hanging last minute, but she did a good thing by wanting to help in the first place. Nevermind this leaves me scrambling and asking my husband to leave work early so we don't have to pay a cancellation fee because it's too late to cancel or move my appointment. He no longer has a flexible job and him leaving early or taking off with short notice won't work anymore.
So we found a babysitter after a lot of searching and a recommendation from a neighbor. It's expensive, but totally worth it not to be canceled on at the last minute. When I tried to explain to my mom that saying yes KNOWING she couldn't fully commit was in fact unhelpful, her response was, "Well, I was just trying to help." Okay, whatever. We can't have a grown up conversation. I then casually mentioned we got a babysitter. I did not bring this up to hurt them! I don't see how being petty will ultimately keep my high ground, but it did indeed hurt their feelings. "If you need us, just ask."
Again, I just wanted to rant to feel better. My mom texted me today to ask how the children and I are, and I can't really put a finger on why it made me so angry. Maybe it's because if I said we were all struggling and having a terrible day literally nothing would be done to help us? Meanwhile I've shown up even with children to help with pet sitting, tax preparation, computer help, and whatever else. The only time we get a visit is when the nasty little dogs get groomed down the street and my mom doesn't want to drive back home to drive back to town 2 hours later. This happens every 3 months. They're both barely past 60 and haven't taken great care of themselves, but they gave up when my younger siblings were still in school.
Thanks for reading. I've considered therapy for this, but I think accepting that I can't change anyone or make them want to show up will probably save me lots of money on a therapist. Thanks $16,000 deductible and max out of pocket.
Can someone please help me figure out what is going on with my family? I also grew up with absent grandparents on my dad’s side, for context.
I had a massive falling out with my family in March. It was bad. Long story short: my dad wanted me to stay in a toxic job environment that could have led to a miscarriage, as it had happened before in that same group. And the abuse was awful at my last job. I was only 5-6 weeks pregnant. I loved my baby so much that I decided to leave. I had worked so hard to get pregnant, for months and months and months we tried. I cried and pleaded with my family to please help me, please understand. I told them that it wasn’t right to make stay in a place that was physically and emotionally hurting me and the baby. But tensions had already been brewing in my family too, my dad and I have never really gotten a long. We have too much bs between us that he refuses to acknowledge. I’ve tried to acknowledge it, talk about, I’ve yelled, I’ve pleaded, everything.
They said they would come see me. I don’t live in their state, and their state is unsafe to travel to pregnant. They said they’d always be there for me. And it’s all just a lie.
I feel so broken, I am now 30 weeks pregnant and my baby is very healthy and happy. I’ve begged my family, specially my mom to come and see me and just spend time with me. I’ve asked her to come see my birth, hold my hand, be my mom… I get silence. Can someone please just help me understand what is going on? This is the opposite behavior of what I was raised in, they are acting so weird and I don’t understand how my family can just turn off loving and caring for me. I’ve texted periodically for months, just asking “please come and spend time with me” I’ve written letters, sent cards, I feel like I’ve begged at this point. What more can I do. I don’t like talking to my dad anymore, but I always talked to my mom. She was my best friend.
Can someone just help me tune in and understand? I need answers, I need some kind of insight. I feel so broken. I’m due in late October. And I just don’t know what is going on anymore. Is it because my dad is afraid of spending money? He is a very greedy person. Is it because they are professional victims? I just don’t understand. Narcissistic?
It’s like when I got pregnant, I lost my parents. I’ve gone to therapy, I’ve sought help. I’ve done so much and I still have no answers. I don’t know what to do. Yes, I can let go. Giving up for me is just giving up forever. I hate this so much. This feeling that I have. What am I supposed to do? I’m trying to just focus on joy, my child, my home… I am just so sad. 😔 I just wanted my parents to be the grandparents I thought they’d be. I thought we’d actually be a family. And it’s just not the case.
Hey everyone, I need to vent and get some outside perspective from people who deal with tough family/in-law dynamics. I did use AI (sorry) to help me put this all together because it already had the full dynamic and I'm too upset and tired to type this all out.
**The Background & Dynamic:**
My Mother-In-Law has two grandsons who live right next door to her. I completely understand that proximity plays a role in relationships, and a few years ago, our family moved a bit further away. However, the disparity in how she treats the grandsons versus my daughter has become impossible to ignore.
She constantly buys things for the boys.
She completely covers their monthly expenses, including their cell phone bills and car, vehicle insurance policies, and so much more.
She just recently took one of the grandsons on a month-long trip/vacation experience. The cost of a month of travel and food alone for him was huge, which I'm guessing she paid for without a second thought.
My daughter sees all of this. She isn't a greedy kid; she rarely asks for anything from my MIL.
**The Shoe Incident & The Texts:**
For my daughter's upcoming birthday, there was a pair of shoes on her wishlist that cost around $150. She messaged her grandmother directly to share her wishlist link.
After waiting a full day with zero response to my daughter, I decided to step in gently. I texted my MIL and said:
*"Hey, so she just mentioned she forwarded you a link today for the other shoes she's wanting for her b-day. I told her they seem a little pricey, so if you just want to let me know what y'all were planning, she can always save up and put it toward the rest if price is an issue, thanks!"*
My goal was simply to offer a way to coordinate so she could contribute whatever dollar amount she was comfortable with.
**22** hours **later**, she sent back a flat, 5-word message
**Her Response:**
*"Yep those are some expensive shoes"*
That was it. No "Happy early birthday," no reply to my daughter at all, no offer to pitch in $20 or $30, and zero effort to coordinate. Just a cold brush-off that really made me feel framed as unreasonable for even asking.
**Calling It Out:**
My daughter was genuinely hurt that her grandmother ignored her text. Seeing my daughter sad was the final straw for me. I decided I was done sweeping the favoritism under the rug, so I sent her a firm, direct message:
*"I'm going to be completely forthcoming with you, that's a bit of a disheartening/short-ended response. It's not so much about expecting you to pay for the full amount, it was more so about hoping you'd want to coordinate/contribute to one of the big items on your granddaughter's wishlist. I know how much you do for your grandsons in their day-to-day lives, so to get a slightly dismissive response with no effort to coordinate with us after waiting since yesterday for a reply is actually really hurtful to me. You didn't seem to indicate that you wanted to have any participation in her birthday in that response. She expressed to me she was disappointed because she never got a text response from you.*
*You're right, they are pricier shoes. However, as I stated in my previous text, you could have just let me know an amount you were comfortable with if you had any desire to participate in celebrating her birthday."*
**Where Things Stand Now (The Passive-Aggressive Retaliation):**
It's now the next day after I sent that message and she has not texted or called back to address the message, apologize to her granddaughter, or clear the air. Instead, her only response so far was waking up to find she quietly turned off her location sharing with me.
Instead of reflecting on how she treats her granddaughter, she seems to have opted for a passive-aggressive "silent protest" to try to punish me for calling out the double standard.
We took care of my daughter's wishlist ourselves and are going to make sure her birthday is amazing regardless, but I am just so angry and drained by this. Thousands and thousands of dollars per year on the grandsons, but one time a year purchase my daughter requested (FOR HER BIRTHDAY) seems to be "too much".
Has anyone else dealt with a mother-in-law who aggressively bankrolls certain grandkids while treating others like an afterthought, and then plays the victim when called out? How do you protect your kids from feeling second-best?
My husband’s family does not do anything supportive. This has been years in the making and over the last 2 years I finally put my foot down on them using us for things.
Early on in the relationship they were always nice enough. His mom made some comments about my body and ethnic background but would say “oh I shouldn’t have said that.” So always correcting herself but I never fully forgot it. I mentioned to my husband and he said he would talk to her but I told him it wasn’t a big deal. Then more comments and the cycle continued. I blame myself for not speaking up.
When we had kids each child, we have 3, exposed their lack of support. Never showing up to help after postpartum, no baby registry gifts, etc. They made a trip out 2 months after the birth of our second and never even held their grandson. My husband took them out one night while I stayed home with our 4 year old and 2 month old. I now realize how awful that was and how I allowed it is beyond me.
My third pregnancy I did not share news of the pregnancy since it would make no difference. They never asked about the pregnancies so why? The day my daughter was born my MIL upset that she was not informed previous made some comments about me birthing frequently which my husband called her out on. My FIL got into it when my husband called them out for their lack of help.
My husband has started to be more vocal. He has asked for help with respect to hands being here and helping with kids but his dad who is married to a woman 20 years younger says he can’t travel without her, says they have travel plans, needs to budget his money. He retire at 50 and his wife does facials at home.
My mother in law is mentally not well. She lied about having cancer and took my older son into the bathroom with her when she was naked. This is the first time she visited. There’s a lot more off behavior here….
My husband is on the same page about the lack of support but I know he has a soft spot for them.
Growing up he had a rough upbringing with them and said their lack of support is the same.
I have so much resentment towards them and to some extent my husband. I hate that my kids are in some way related to these people. How do you get passed this?
With my husband, we have had some really awful fights about his family but he now says he sees their lack of support of support and it bothers him.
They don’t call on kids birthdays. No gifts. No mention of wanting to help. They have told people that we want help since we did not budget correctly. We have never asked for money.
I am also angry with my husband and I have not let it go from the years of the comments to his family using our home. I wanted him to have spoken up. One time I was 6 weeks post partum and he gave his dad and step mom our bed since we had the larger room to sleep in. I think he did it so they would feel comfortable and wnat to come back but I am still upset that he did that especially since I had a really rough delivery.
At this point we don’t talk to his family really. His father in law offered to call the kids 1x and have a 15 min call. They all live out of state and retired. His mom got mad about her taking my son into the bathroom and has t called her son in 2 years. She made sure my husband was aware that she had some low blood pressure issues and was rushed to the hospital and asked that he call her. But no asking about grandkids etc.
How do you get past the hurt? The resentment? How do you get over the grief of not having that support?